


Consequences

by trickstarbrave



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Breeding, Illegitimate Heirs, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oral Sex, Smut and Angst, Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, no betas we die like men, risky sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-05 17:49:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickstarbrave/pseuds/trickstarbrave
Summary: One night, Byleth indulged the prince in whatever way he wanted. Unfortunately, there are consequences to laying with the Crown Prince of Faerghus.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh i had plans to make something like this for a while. everyone on twitter egged me on too because they're all enablers. 
> 
> will be different from my other rewrite fic but i wanted to try out another take on it because i am in fire emblem hell 
> 
> general warnings if trans men becoming pregnant is upsetting i don't recommend reading. dysphoria isnt mentioned prominently in this fic either. and don't practice unsafe binding.

Byleth knew that while Dimitri seemed completely gone, his mind lost in nothing but a haze of rage… He knew that in reality it was far from the truth. Yes, he was angry. He was angry beyond the comprehension of most people, with grief aching in his heart every single moment of his existence. But too far gone to understand his own actions? Hardly. He was compelled by his morals to kill to protect the weak, but killing itself was an evil act, so he himself must be evil. Therefore, if he was evil, he too shall die, and thus there was no point in being good to others, to appear happy, to make any more bonds with people that they were just going to lose in the end. 

It was selfish and selfless all at once. He refused the help of others, refused to let others in, both to protect them and to punish himself. And if they were in pain, it simply validated his position to distance himself, feeding into an endless cycle.

But Byleth also knew Dimitri still cared. He might try to claim he didn’t, claim he was just using them until their hearts stopped beating and all the flesh fell from their bones. Yet, he was the one who pushed Byleth out of harm's way, shouting  _ “Professor, get down!” _ his voice rough and panicked. He was the one who purposefully killed enemies as Felix’s back was turned to them, so they couldn’t harm the raven haired man. He was the one who took all the hits and killed the most enemies to spare as many as possible the horror of taking a life. Others may call it bloodthirsty, desperate for gore and violence by his own hands, but Byleth knew it was out of protection. If one of them fell, he would be broken, he would mourn just as painfully as he did his parents.

Which is why Byleth stays. He stays in the hopes that he can be of use to him, though he wants to be more of use setting him on the right path where he will be loved and safe rather than be of use simply as a weapon. He wants so badly for Dimitri to be better, to expose that raw, painful wound of grief and let Byleth and the others tend to it and heal it. He knows Dimitri will never be whole again, but he doesn’t need to let it fester and rot. 

So Byleth would occasionally come to the cathedral, watching over him. Typically from the back, as silent as he can be. Honestly, getting past the gate without making too much noise was the hard part so late, but it could be done with practice. 

Dimitri mainly prayed and talked, he found, as he heard Mercedes claim. It was quiet, mainly, praying for salvation, praying for peace, and speaking to several of the ‘ghosts’ haunting him. At times it was incoherent, but that was a given, as he only heard mutterings of half the conversation. The other half was silent, deafening nearly, only Dimitri’s breathing and whimpering between them.

After a while, he grew quiet, before finally lifting his slumped head.

“How long do you intend to stand there and watch me?” He demanded, his voice echoing through the nearly empty cathedral. 

“I just want to make sure you’re alright.” Byleth replied, deciding now to walk forward toward the prince. 

He huffed in response. “‘Alright’?” His arms remained crossed. “As though anything about me is ‘alright’. I am nothing but a corpse.” 

Byleth had plenty he wanted to say in disagreement, but he knew the prince would not take any of them to heart. Instead, Byleth simply ignored the statement. 

“You should get some rest tonight.” Byleth stated, and Dimitri growled.

“Rest is for the weak. I have more important matters to attend to.” He frowned in response to the prince’s words.

“I don’t want to see you falter in battle.” 

“If I falter from something as pathetic as that, then I deserve my own end.” That Byleth was not going to let go. 

“You will not fall.” His eyes were hard, serious, and Dimitri turned to meet his glare.

“You are correct, because I will not fall from something so pathetic.” He tilted his head up to glare down at him properly. “Now leave.” 

“Dimitri--” Byleth grit his teeth. “I just--” 

“Just  _ what _ ?” 

Byleth remembered how he wasn’t always like this. He has seen the love letters fall from his notebooks, never returned because he knew how flustered Dimitri would be. He remembered longing touches, his own hands resting near his closed up wounds long after the healing magic did it’s task. He remembered stroking his blond hair, carefully styled and cut, now overgrown and ragged. He remembers the shakey kiss shared between them in the goddess tower, as since there was no way for two men to make a wish, they might as well indulge themselves a bit. His lips were so cautious too, hands holding his arms in a grip slightly too tight, and his eyes looked so loving and so sad all at once.

How desperately Byleth wanted those moments back, or anything resembling them. He knew though, that even back on the right path as Rodridge asked him to put Dimitri on, he couldn’t ask of that from him. No, those were stolen kisses in a different time, a time when he didn’t have to think about kings and succession, wars and family lineages. Back when he was still a little ignorant and naive, despite how much it pissed Sylvain off. 

… Another part of him wanted more, still. Another part of him wanted a life after this war, just himself and Dimitri, and a family. He had the… Anatomy for it, despite what others tended to believe. But that was it, it would raise too many questions about him, and it would have too many people doubting his gender. Not to mention he was… Well, the vessel for Sothis, and important to the church. The people would never trust him as the King’s consort, not after the Empire declared war on them and stated they were merely controlling the continent through politics.

Besides, Dimitri was a different man now. A man hardened by war. A man who would need to focus on getting a good wife for his kingdom. A good wife for a good family. 

“Go on, say it. I can see it in your eyes.” Dimitri’s hand had grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Say it. Say you miss the pathetic boy I was back then. Say you want him back.” His voice was cynical, taunting, and Byleth knew what his answer would be if he said as much.

_ “That Dimitri is long dead. If you truly hate what I have become, then strike me down, kill me.”  _

Instead, Byleth simply leaned in closer, before Dimitri had a chance to shove him away, and kissed him. At first, Dimitri did not respond, stunned by the affection, before quickly he shoved Byleth away. In his eyes there was a panic, he was startled, his rhythm thrown off, confused. It was slowly processing in his head as he brought one hand up to his mouth, running his fingers across his own lower lip. 

Byleth wanted to apologize, but before the sound could make it’s way out of his throat, Dimitri all but growled and lunged at him, grasping him by the shirt once more, and Byleth nearly fell back onto the tiled ground if not for the hand keeping him upright. 

“Do you  _ pity _ me, Professor?” His eyes were so jaded and hard. “Is that it? Is that why you think you can kiss a beast?” 

“I don’t, Dimitri.” He answered honestly, though afraid. “I just--” 

“Nostalgia, then? You think you can self project your feelings of the past onto me?” He brought Byleth in even closer, until he could nearly feel the prince’s hot breath against his face. It was terrifying, Dimitri was wild and unpredictable like this, but he also couldn’t deny the excitement stirring inside him. 

“I don’t, I’m still--” Dimitri growled, trying to drown out his voice and stop him from saying it. “I’m still in love with you.” 

Silence followed, after that. Dimitri, it seemed, didn’t know how to respond. It crept on, seemingly endlessly, nothing but the sound of their breathing and the distant sound of crickets outside. 

Finally, the silence broke, as Dimitri brought him forward once more, placing a kiss onto his lips. It was much rougher than Byleth’s gentle, cautious one. Much, much rougher. Byleth still accepted it, holding onto his arms as he kissed the blond back with everything he had.

“I will use you,” He whispered, between fervent kisses. “I will simply use you, your body, and your heart.” 

“Then use me.” Byleth replied, the kisses stilling briefly. “Use me as you see fit.” 

The cathedral floor was not where he should be doing this. Then again, the crown prince of Faerghus was not who he should be doing this  _ with _ . The whole situation was wrong, deeply wrong on many levels, not to mention  _ risky _ . Still, he didn’t push Dimitri away. Perhaps he would simply stop once he stripped Byleth completely, stunned by the realization of his anatomy. 

He knew Dimitri wouldn’t tell the others though. That would be a waste of time when Byleth was still an asset to kill Edelgard. 

His armor and coat came off first, Dimitri kissing down his neck hastily, leaving a trail of bitemarks and bruises across any exposed skin, as his tunic came off next, his white shirt now exposed. Byleth would still drink up all of those, passionate, desperate kisses and marks from a man who needed sweet release if only for a moment. 

Once his shirt was undone, he paused briefly at the cloth binding his chest, before unraveling it impatiently. Byleth wondered what his next course of action would be, if he would climb off and leave Byleth there but…

His mouth ran down the expanse of his chest, kissing and nipping. He hissed, his teeth were so rough on his nipple, and he feared almost they would break skin, but he gave a whine of delight as Dimitri’s tongue soothed them, rolling around each one as he hurriedly undid Byleth’s belt and pants. Byleth helped as well, between moans, kicking his boots off as his leg armor went to the floor with a clatter. 

Dimitri undressed slightly as well, unclipping his cloak and letting it fall to the floor, before tossing the armor on his torso to the ground with a clatter in the other direction. Once he had more freedom of movement, he slid between Byleth’s bare legs, pulling them open to stare him down. 

Byleth’s face felt hot, being watched like this. He could only glance down to look at the prince eyeing him up those brief seconds, before he felt his tongue lick up his cunt firmly. It was a shock, certainly, and Byleth cried out as his hands buried themselves in Dimitri’s hair. 

Again, Byleth was reminded Dimitri was still there, still conscious. If he was just doing this for his own pleasure, genuinely, there would be no need for this, no need to go down on him, lapping at his lips eagerly, rolling his tongue against Byleth’s clit. It was honestly much better than any hurried and clumsy attempts at pleasuring himself that he resorted to. Dimitri’s mouth was so much hotter than his hands could ever be. Wet, firm, wild, a fire lit up in his eye that Byleth recognized as similar to the look he had back in the Holy Tomb five long years ago, but… Different somehow. Better. 

He was crying out Dimitri’s name in ecstasy, his voice growing more and more hoarse. Dimitri didn’t show him a shred of mercy, however, moving his tongue faster and harder, only taking breaks to lick up him long enough to seemingly make his body more sensitive and wanting. As it started to reach its peak though, the breaks of slow, hot licks up him ceased and he was mercilessly rolling around his clit with passion, eye twisted shut in focus, humming against him. 

“Dimitri~!!” He screamed out his name so loudly he honestly feared the rest of the ceiling would begin crumbling down on them, but it doesn’t, thankfully. His back arched, legs wrapped firmly around Dimitri, and the prince of lions did not even let him catch gasping breath as he forced Byleth to ride it out, his tongue still teasing at his hyper-sensitive body. 

Thoroughly pleasured, all of his joints felt weak, and he didn’t know if he could stand. Dimitri pulled up and gave him just enough time to recover as he began the work of marking up Byleth’s thighs next with messy sucking and bite marks. He could only whine weakly at the treatment, trying to focus on the world around him. 

Just as his head was beginning to clear from his orgasm, Dimitri pulled himself up, only briefly admiring the flustered mess he made of his old professor, before he rolled Byleth over face down onto his cloak laying beside them and raised his hips. 

“Beasts,” Dimitri began, undoing his own pants to free his straining cock, and laying across Byleth. “Should fuck as beasts do.” A shiver ran down Byleth’s spine. The closest he has heard a swear fall from the prince’s pretty lips was the word “damned”, but to hear him utter out the word ‘fuck’ with his cock sliding against his dripping hole was enough to make him go mad. 

He didn’t ask, as he slipped inside, if this was Byleth’s first time. Perhaps he didn’t want to know, afraid of the act being any more emotionally intimate. Perhaps he simply assumed the answer was no, as Byleth groaned into the rough fur of his cloak and took inch after inch inside without complaint. Perhaps he did not care, and was content to imagine whatever he wished to make the experience more palatable. 

Byleth, of course, knew the answer. While he had not been above drunken kisses at inns while he traveled, attractive men and women alike eager to show him how to french kiss, wondering if they could make that stoic face flush and his cock aroused, sex was never on the table. Probably because they all failed to get the results they wanted, and Byleth had other things to worry about than building trust enough to be bare in front of people he would probably never see again. 

He wondered, biting down on the fur, if Dimitri was the same. If this was Dimitri’s first time, or if in the five years they’ve been apart Dimitri laid with another and took them just like this.

Dimitri wasn’t too rough to start with, which Byleth was grateful for. While the orgasm had done an excellent job making him soaking wet and slick, Dimitri was still huge. His cock was stretching him more and more as he thrusted, Byleth’s body slowly giving way to accommodate him. It was so  _ thick _ too, delightful in how much it almost hurt each thrust powerful and slow. He got deeper and deeper though, with every thrust, until he hit Byleth’s cervix in a way that he never thought could feel quite that good. 

As he picked up speed, panting, Byleth didn’t have to worry about keeping his hips up any longer as Dimitri had now taken over that. His hands were firm on his hips, nails digging in and Byleth knew he’d be seeing the crescent shaped bruises for a while after this. Now freed somewhat, he shifted his arms so one was supporting his head more comfortably, slipped under the fur so he could still inhale the scent of leather and Dimitri, his other sliding down so he could shamelessly rub his own clit. 

This was risky, he reminded himself, listening to Dimitri growl and moan in delight. How risky, he didn’t know, as he hadn’t bothered yet to find out. He always assumed if he were to do this with someone they would have time to talk, to prepare, giving Byleth ample time to research it. But he assumed from talks in villages of women trying for months to have a child that it shouldn’t be that bad. 

Though perhaps that was just him trying to stop the thoughts making his body ache in desire as another orgasm approached.

He wanted, every time his judgement started to lapse as Dimitri ground his cock so  _ deeply _ into him, to have his child. He wanted the cathedral floor and blue cloak to be Dimitri’s bed, the prince pinning him down to fuck him long and hard just like this, whispering tenderly about how much he wanted Byleth and  _ only _ Byleth to carry his child, his heir. He was getting wetter every second it crossed his mind, and it was getting harder and harder to reason with the thoughts as Dimitri’s hips thrust against his own, both holes of his body producing such unholy sounds in such a holy place.

“Dimitri~” He moaned out, without a care that Dimitri didn’t moan out for him. He had half a mind to warn the prince to pull out, to think clearly, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t pry himself from such dirty, terrible thoughts of the prince knocking him up, breeding him, taking his body for himself completely. He and the prince were not even married--could never be married as an advisor and his king--but Byleth wanted nothing more than to bear that child. He wanted it so badly his eyes were watering, mouth drooling, orgasm just threatening to overtake him once more in bliss. 

Dimitri’s voice was rising too, getting louder and louder, before he spoke. 

“Take every last drop!” It was loud, rough, and commanding as his hand tugged Byleth’s head into position to bite down right where his neck and shoulder met. It’s more than enough to send Byleth crashing over the edge as white hot heat poured out into him, so very  _ deep _ inside him. 

He did take every last drop, gasping and moaning in delight, thankful that the cloak was muffling all of his words of passion. Dimitri didn’t need to hear some of the things falling from Byleth’s lips, his begs for Dimitri to use him, to fuck a baby into him, to knock him up with the next prince of Faerghus. He didn’t even want to hear those sinful words himself, but he couldn’t stop moaning them if he tried. 

Dimitri waited, catching his breath, before pulling out. Byleth whined in protest, feeling his seed drip out of his abused hole. He wanted it inside, he wanted it  _ so _ very badly. Then, Dimitri flipped him over onto his back, silencing any words that would have tumbled out with a kiss. 

Byleth wondered if he’d continue, or if he just wanted to messily explore Byleth’s mouth now that he’d fucked the professor raw. He clung to the blond either way, letting him use Byleth as he saw fit, as promised.

Eventually, Dimitri parted, one hand almost tenderly caressing the back of Byleth’s thigh, staring him down. His bright blue iris looked almost clear now, warm with satisfaction and--

No, Byleth won’t make assumptions on Dimitri’s feelings toward him. Not right now. Not after this, this moment of release, this moment of nothing more than give and take, of two beasts fucking. To believe there was requited love after all these years would be too much for his heart to bear when this all came crashing down on him the following day. 

Dimitri rose first, climbing off him to put his own armor back on in silence. Byleth laid there for a few more moments, fingers running along the embroidered cloak under him, before he too rose to redress and slide his armor back on. His legs still felt weak, but he would survive the trek back to his room in the dorms. After redressing, Dimitri sat on a pew, and once prepared to go, Byleth walked toward him once more. He stroked the blond locks with care, and Dimitri didn’t smack him away. He leaned into the touch ever so slightly, and Byleth enjoyed the last bit of affection he knew he would get away with, before retreating out of the cathedral. 

As expected, the next day the prince was cold as always, barely responding to Byleth or even Rodridge. It was as if the events the previous night had never happened, and Byleth would have been inclined to believe it was all a passionate dream if not for the marks riddling his body and the cum he needed to clean from himself the next morning. But that was to be expected, this was war, and their crown prince only really wanted one thing: the Emperor’s head in his hands, severed from her shoulders.

Soon, they would march to Gronder field where inevitably a battle awaited them. He didn’t have time to think about anything else besides training drills, planning supplies, and battalions. 

Besides, he mused to himself, it wasn’t as though anything were to have come of that night anyways. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii another new chapter. this one is less plot re-write than 'our den' is so i'm focusing much more on tension and the progression of the pregnancy as well as the child eventually. 
> 
> also our den is still gonna be updated its just the chapters tend to be much longer because i hate myself??? i guess. i hope you still enjoy both tho. i am living for the angst and the stupidity of saying things you end up regretting

Dimitri did tend to act as though nothing ever happened, cold to him and barely speaking, at times more content to pretend as though Byleth was not there at all. Still, Byleth continued to worry and watch him, intending on making sure the prince was at least somewhat safe, that he was eating, that he was getting something resembling sleep. 

And when there was no one else around, Dimitri would find him at times. In the dead of night, after observing Dimitri in the cathedral, he would turn to find the man quiet as a ghost behind him as he returned to his room. 

“Let me in.” He commanded, eye clouded. Byleth would only nod.

“Of course.” He replied knowingly, as Dimitri shoved him into the room and locked the door behind him. It was more dignified than the cathedral floor, he would admit, but also he had to be more quiet here, biting into his own pillow to silence his cries. 

The more time it went on like this, messy, heated exchanges with no further words of things such as endearment or love, the better Dimitri got. Byleth couldn’t even tell if it was intentional or not, or if Dimitri simply enjoyed the act of it. He kissed and bit on his thigh with hunger, riddling him with more and more marks. Then, the prince would go down on him once more, lapping at him with glee, even at times sliding his tongue inside him or fingering him nice and hard while sucking on his clit. Goddess, the things the man could do with his mouth… He always looked satisfied too, before moving up so Byleth could lap and suck at his cock as well, but Dimitri would never let him fully return the favor to completion. Just enough to pleasure him slightly as Byleth came down from the high of his orgasm, though Byleth was always more than happy to do so.

And of course, sex was rough and hard, Dimitri pounding into him rhymically. It was mind-numbing, wonderful, and satisfying.

Well, not emotionally. But close enough.

And every time, he came inside. Byleth never bothered stopping him in the act, as both himself and Dimitri seemed to be enjoying it. Byleth especially. 

Still, one evening as Dimitri put his armor on once more, Byleth spoke up while laying in bed. 

“... It is risky, to do… That inside.” He felt so awkward to say, tumbling out of his lips clumsily. But still, it was his duty to remind him, wasn’t it? Byleth was still a teacher, someone to guide him. 

“... So what?” Dimitri replied, strapping his armor on his thighs. “It matters not.” 

Byleth felt cold at that, covering himself with the blanket. 

That’s right. He was here to be used as Dimitri saw fit. He knew himself that Dimitri was not that far gone when he was like this, he knew what he was doing. There were only two ways this ended: either Dimitri dying after gaining his revenge, or Dimitri leaving him to lead his country and taking a proper wife and having a proper family. There was no room for Byleth, and no need to get attached to him or care about any child they produced. Those were the conditions he knew from the start.

“You’re right.” Byleth replied. “Do as you please.” 

Dimitri grunted in response, now strapping his chest armor back on. Always, always, only his armor came off and his pants unzipped enough to fuck him. Nothing more. Byleth hadn’t earned any further vulnerability from him, and likely never would.

He left after that, Byleth dozing off under the blankets still filled with his seed and covered in his marks. A routine he would adjust to. 

\--

After the battle at Gronder, Rodridge was lost, and Dimitri mourned. Mourned in a way that was painful for Byleth to see. In a way that was self destructive, violent, and heartbreaking. 

So he offered him comfort and solace, however he wanted. He offered him the only words he had and the warmth of his hands and gentle kisses. 

They didn’t have sex, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was Dimitri was still alive, and here, safe in Byleth’s arms, drinking up his warmth. It was more intimate than the sex they would have anyways, more comforting, more gentle. He was relieved Dimitri accepted at all, instead of dying, and he wasn’t going to fail him now.

The next few days, Dimitri began to open up to the others, apologies spilling from his lips instead of growls and curses. He asked for forgiveness, and asked to lead them, which they all accepted, and with a cheer they turned their sights away from Edelgard for the first time in months and instead sought to take the kingdom capital. 

He was relieved that Dimitri was back on the right path, the path Rodridge wanted him on, a path of something besides reckless bloodshed and self destruction. He started sleeping more, eating properly, and training with the others. 

But another part of him was slightly disappointed. He exchanged kisses and nights of passion for simple nods and praise. At times their hands would brush, and their eyes would linger longer than they should, or Dimitri stood closer than necessary. But that was all, and nothing more. That was all there  _ could _ be, the acknowledgement of a teacher and student, the trusted bond of a king and his advisor. There was distance there between them so suddenly, and it felt as though something had been ripped from him. 

Foolish, getting so attached. He offered himself to be used by Dimitri as he saw fit, and now he was upset he was being tossed aside when no longer needed. Foolish, foolish, foolish. 

Still, he had the pleasure of watching Dimitri smile, occasionally laughing with the others. Mercedes, Marianne, and Flayn would dote on him as well, and he would return with kindness and comfort the best he could, and Byleth wondered briefly if any of them would become the next queen of Faerghus. Jealousy bubbled in his stomach at the thought, which he quickly tried to squash and muffle, instead faking a smile to match the scene as though nothing was wrong in his mind.

\--

It’s after they took Fhirdiad, a delightful celebration going on, that Byleth felt particularly weak. He’s felt off for the past few weeks, but now his nausea was reaching his peak as he was surrounded by nobles and workers in the ballroom with party favors and alcohol. He hurried out suddenly feeling blisteringly hot and dizzy to a balcony, before vomiting indecently over the edge and into some hedges. Disgusting, but he was at least glad it wasn’t in front of anyone to raise concern.

“Professor! Are you alright?” A familiar voice called out, a blur of black, blue, and blond in his vision.

Nevermind. 

“... Fine.” He replied, though he still felt painfully hot. He would simply get himself to his bed to rest, as it seems as though he had fallen ill. Perhaps he should have been more careful when eating rations…

“You are not.” Dimitri’s hands were on him now, trying to hold him steady. The last thing Byleth wanted was that, however. He couldn’t live with himself if he made a mess of the crown prince here, at a celebration in his honor. 

“Just ill, that’s all.” He has gotten ill very rarely in his life, a blessing he took for granted. Maybe it was catching up on him by coming at such inconvenient times now. 

“Then let’s have Manuela look you over.” Dimitri was still supporting him. “She should still be in the infirmary. I’ll take you over there.” Byleth groaned, but compiled. If seeing Maneula would put his worries at ease for something minor like food poisoning, then he would. After that, he’ll retire to his room in peace and the prince can return to his people. 

“Please, Professor Manuela, Professor Byleth is unwell. He needs help.” Manuela was in the infirmary, as Dimitri expected. He was lucky there is no one else here at the moment and that Manuela was not drunk yet, having only just poured herself a glass of wine. She is annoyed by the interruption of her reward after a long day of patching people up and healing, until she saw how pale Byleth is and the sweat on his brow, as well as the worried look from Dimitri. 

“Alright, let me look him over while you return to the party.” Manuela replied, laying Byleth down after setting her glass of wine to the side. Dimitri was still tense, before Byleth looked up at him with a glare.

“Return, Dimitri. You can at least tell the others I’m ill and getting treatment.” He frowned in response, before sighing. 

“Very well, but… I am worried about you, Professor. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He did leave, slowly and reluctantly. Byleth heard his footsteps down the hall after the door shut, before he finally relaxed into the bed.

“So what seems to be the issue?” Byleth was relieved his nausea was subsiding slightly, the waves of it getting smaller as he laid down. Maybe now that whatever was upsetting his stomach was gone, he’ll recover quickly. 

“Nausea, vomiting, dizziness.” He listed simply, eyes shut. 

“Well, that could be any number of things.” Manuela sighed. “But the prince sure does look worried, so I should check you over properly. Besides, it’s been a few years since you had a proper physical anyways. 

He’s had one physical by her, after gaining his position as teacher here. He assured her it wasn’t necessary, but Rhea had insisted on it and assured him the utmost confidentiality with the faculty. Looking back on it, she probably knew from the beginning the history of his gender, given she was the one who helped his mother give birth to him in the first place. 

Manuela let him rest, instead looking over some minor wounds that were healing, old scars to ensure they didn’t obscure his movement, and then began the process of resting a hand a few inches over his body, and it began to glow. She began it over his head at first, focusing around his ears and mouth to ensure it was no infection causing the nausea, before moving down his chest and his stomach. As she passed his stomach and moved to his lower abdomen, she paused, her brows furrowing.

“... Did you find what has been causing it?” Manuela’s hand stopped glowing, settling into her lap.

“... Potentially…” She had a deep frown settled on her face. “Tell me, Byleth,” Byleth was expecting her to ask him what it is he ate, but a different question came instead. “When was the day of your last menstrual cycle?” 

Hm. With the business of war, he hardly thought of that. If it came, it came, more so an uncomfortable reminder and annoyance now compared to all the death and bloodshed he had to deal with on the battlefield. It was only now that it was brought up that he realized… 

He hasn’t had one since before Rodridges death and Dimitri’s recovery. He couldn’t place the day exactly, it had been so long but… It was closer to the start of the month just before Dedue returned. 

“... A few weeks before the battle for The Great Bridge of Myrddin.” Manuela’s eyebrows only furrowed further. 

“Byleth…” Maneula looked back at the glass of wine over at the other table off to the side briefly. She’ll definitely need alcohol after this. “There isn’t… A way for me to say this easily.” She sighed heavily. “Byleth, you do know you have been… Sexually active, right?” 

It clicked. It suddenly clicked in a way he didn’t want to. While he was mentally counting over the rations and whose job it was to cook and pack the rations he ate and how old they might have been, the dots connected. 

His face went pale again and his eyes shot wide open.

“I…” He swallowed, nausea and panic running through him, “Wait—Are you—Are you certain?” He didn’t sit up quite yet, instead his hands gripping the cot until his knuckles went white. 

“Fairly certain. There’s a specific… Anomaly of energy that only shows up with that kind of thing, distinctly not a disease.” She stroked some of his bangs away from his damp face. “If you want, I have some herbs that ease nausea. And also I could make a remedy to… Terminate it.” 

“No!” Byleth sat up, a bit too fast, gripping her hand tight. The older woman jumped a bit in surprise. “No I… I want…” His other hand moved to grip his tunic where it laid across his thigh tighty. “I would… Like to keep it. The herbs for nausea are enough for now.” 

“Of course, Professor.” Maneula was not skilled with this sort of thing. She never wanted children of her own at all, let alone understand why other people would want them. Especially Byleth, when it could… Reveal things she was certain he didn’t want out in the open. They were also at war, and fighting in battle while carrying a child was something she would never advise. “Those are fairly simple, some ginger and mint to chew on. You can even inhale the scent to help, and I have a little charm to help with dizziness.” She removed it from her wrist. She could do with the hangover dizziness for now, when Byleth needed it more. Byleth placed it on himself, as Manuela helped him up. “I’ll deliver the herbs to you tomorrow. Get some rest and drink some water tonight.” Byleth nodded, getting up and walking toward the door.

“Professor,” She began, and Byleth turned to look back at her. “Do you mind if I… Ask who the father is?” Byleth looked at her, not breaking eye contact for several long moments. 

“I do mind.” He replied simply, before walking out the door. 

As he turned, there was a familiar sight down the hall from him, leaning against the wall. He frowned. 

“I told you to return to the party.” Dimitri pushed himself off the wall, his face still twisted in concern.

“I could not… Force down my concern. At least allow me to escort you to your room.” He uncrossed his arms as Byleth approached, slightly relieved to see he was steadier on his feat. “What did Manuela say it was?” 

Byleth did not allow his face to crack, remaining stoic like it had so many years ago.

He could not reveal it. If he did, Dimitri would know who the father was, and it would push more distance between them. Instead of just professor and student or a king and his tactician, he would be nothing more than an embarrassment. An old fling that should have never happened. A forgotten ‘mistress’. He said so himself, it did not matter the consequences of those nights. Bringing them up now would be the death of this relationship he had with him now, as lacking and incomplete as he felt it was. And he wanted—needed that right now. Any more distance and he would crack. Dimitri was already going to leave him and move on with his life, the least he could do was cling to  _ this _ with everything he had. 

“An ear infection.” He stated. “Not too serious, but it set off my balance. I’ll need to take medicine to clear it up and use herbs to mitigate the nausea. But it’s hardly anything serious.” Dimitri’s shoulders slumped completely in relief.

“Thank the Goddess…” He muttered under his breath. “I… Don’t know what I would do if something happened to you, Professor.” His smile was warm and inviting. “After all you have done for me, I…” He stepped forward, one hand resting on his shoulder, “I want you to be around for a long time.” His expression was warm and inviting, something shimmering in his eye that Byleth tried his best to ignore. Again, he couldn’t get too caught up in imagining what that might be, projecting his own wants and desires onto Dimitri’s emotions. That was how he was going to get himself hurt even further. 

“I will be. Even I get ill from time to time. Nothing to need to concern yourself with.” Dimitri chuckled.

“Yes but,” He glanced down at the ground. “You can always rely on me if you need to, Professor. In a way, for months, I was… Relying on you. Relying on everyone but…” He swallowed, his hand tightening. “I cannot thank you enough for that. For believing in me. So if there is anything, anything at all, I want you to rely on me. Even if you’re just sick, I don’t want you to feel as though you have to act strong just for my sake.” 

That tender expression and the way his thumb ran against his armor made his heart give in the slightest. The temptation was certainly there, to tell Dimitri the truth, that their union had produced a child he wanted more than anything and that Dimitri didn’t have to recognize it or want it either. 

But he couldn’t. He already knew how that ended for him. 

This was enough. This gaze full of warmth with a slightly lopsided and awkward but genuine all the same smile, his eyes glistening in candlelight, and the scent drifting off his cloak… It was so much less than those nights of passion and so much more all at the same time. But he wanted more of it all the same. He couldn’t bear that blue iris growing cold at him and his smile turning into a scowl quite yet. 

“I know, Dimitri.” He placed his hand on top of Dimitri’s, and missed the way he swallowed at the action by instead staring at the ground. “I appreciate it as well, but it is nothing to be concerned over. I’m a grown man.”

“Y… Yes. Right you are.” He laughed once more, letting his hand slip off. “Forgive me, though, if I worry just a bit.” He smiled, before turning. “Let me take you to your room. Dedue already knows I will be helping you and informed the party, so don’t worry about that. I’ll return once you’re settled. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man this one is so hard to write sometimes. i have so much in mind for later stuff and i DONT want this to be a rewrite, but purely introspective stuff is kinda hard when byleth is being an ass. still, im working through it, and when in doubt just add some action. im hoping after this chapter to play around with stuff some more, and build up to the post war stuff where i feel things will get interesting??? maybe????? god i sure hope so

Claude had requested their help on behalf of the alliance. The capital city would soon be under siege by a marching army, and they had a limited window to arrive; roughly three weeks. Due to this, they left Fhirdiad after only a few more days. Several of the blue lions were at a loss. They had just returned home, and wanted to visit family and check in on their home territories, but there was no time. They needed to return to Garreg Mach to prepare for marching to the Alliance.

Byleth was not looking forward to the march back himself, still struggling with nausea. “Morning sickness”, he understood it, yet why was it always in the afternoon and evenings, keeping him awake? Regardless, he knew the longer they delayed, the more the others would worry for him and the more time he left to be discovered. The last thing he wanted was Dimitri discovering he was with child, but equally more humiliating would be the whole military doting on him despite how much Dimitri would despise it. Even if it was a bastard prince, a stain on the reputation of the nation, he knew the other Blue Lions would relegate him to being off the field exclusively, worried about every little injury. They didn’t have time for him to be laying in bed pathetically sipping tea and holding his stomach, they needed him involved. 

He did, however, spend more time relaxing. He also sent them on missions as well, hunting, chasing down bandits, and gathering information, but he avoided the battlefield for now.

“Professor,” Caspar approached him, with the bandits now chased off and their items confiscated. “You good? You’ve been in the back this whole time.”

“He’s right,” Mercedes now joined him. “You usually lead us on the battlefield. Is your ear really alright?” Byleth sighed. 

“I am perfectly fine.” They didn’t seem content with his answer, so he continued. “This is just practice, the upcoming battles may get incredibly chaotic, and I want to test your skills without me.” He didn’t understand why they were so suspicious, he has sent them off to complete missions on their own plenty of times, in order to give them training on new abilities and practice formations without him. Was he really acting that strange? 

“Well, if you want to, I can make you some ginger candy!” Mercedes offered with a gentle smile. Byleth didn’t smile in return, simply nodding. 

“It would be appreciated.” Honestly, chewing on herbs and inhaling the scent of ginger was growing tiring. While he didn’t like candy, something sweet to round it out would be more than welcomed, and he didn’t want them to worry. The others eyed him, before turning away, while Mercedes’s eyes, kind and gentle as always, seemed to stare right through him. Another pang of guilt ran up his spine. Of course she of all people could see something was not what it seemed, but this wasn’t the time to tell her. “For now, let’s return. You have all earned a hot meal and plenty of rest.” The group laughed and cheered. Their morale had been better since the war seemed to make a turn around. After assisting the Alliance, they would march to Enbarr after all, and win this war once and for all. 

\--

For most of his life, Byleth had one kind of dream, being alone with Sothis. As Sothis was now absorbed, unable to criticize him or give her own thoughts on the war, he was left alone with just his thoughts.

Perhaps it was the hormones coursing through him or the pressure to maintain his secret, but either way, his dreams were not pleasant. 

He was alone in the monastery. Around him were people constantly shuffling, acknowledging him but simply passing him by. Clerics, priests, and students, all without a care. Not malicious, just passive. Normally he would be delighted by the sight of the school open and operating again with no conflict at the monastery, no war meetings, but… 

He felt empty, as he drifted around. He felt so painfully empty and isolated. He kept looking for a familiar face, not seeing any. None. Before he finally wandered to the cathedral. 

There, standing by rubble, was Dimitri. A sight he has seen so many times. A sight he welcomed. The question box was empty for him, but Dimitri was still waiting, standing there. He approached, slowly, a small smile tugging on his lips. Perhaps they’d talk, talk about why Dimitri was here, about the war or kingdom, about… Anything.

He called out Dimitri’s name, and the other turned and smiled.

“Ah,” He was smiling passively. “I didn’t think you’d come.” 

“It’s always nice to see you, Dimitri.”

“Yes, well… I just came here for a visit.” That didn’t seem right. What did he mean just a visit. “I should have to leave, attend to my business for the kingdom.” 

“W-wait,” Byleth’s voice cracked. “Is there anything I can help with?” Dimitri only offered a small, empty, polite smile. 

“There’s nothing I need help with. Why don’t you just take a break? The war is over, Professor.” The cathedral around him seemed to darken. “No one needs your training anymore, nor your advice for battle. You’ve taught us all well enough. It’s over.” Byleth’s blood felt frozen in his veins, and despite how much he tried to speak, nothing came out. Nothing at all.

He sat up from bed quickly, gasping. 

Why? Why when he has been plagued with so much death, did that dream disturb him? It didn’t make any sense, he should be  _ happy _ this war was over. He hated this endless battling, the constant worry over his students, the risk of  _ losing _ any of them! He hated it more than he could describe, so why was he fearing the end of this long, painful war? 

It dawned on him, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. It caught him by surprise even, he wasn’t expecting to actually cry over something so trivial and pointless as a little dream. The only time in his life he ever cried previously was when he lost his father. He wiped the tear away quickly, before the hand fell to his stomach. 

What he was afraid of wasn’t the war ending. He was afraid of not being  _ needed _ anymore. That all of his students were just going to move on, every one he knew would just… Move on. Sothis was gone, his father was gone, and if there was no reason to keep him around then… He would fall to the wayside. Certainly, if Rhea was alive, she might have plans for him but he was still suspicious. 

What he really wanted was to be needed by someone he loved. He wasn’t content to just be kept by their side passively, to just  _ exist _ there. If he was just there, he was replaceable when someone else with purpose came. None of them were students anymore, so they didn’t  _ need _ their teacher. When the war was over, none of them  _ needed _ him to be an advisor. 

He laid back onto the pillow, face stern, hand still resting on his stomach. 

He really needed this child to stay sane at this rate. If there was no one else who needed him, a child would. A child would not simply outgrow their parent that easily.

A selfish desire. A selfish reason to have a child, he was aware, and the guilt built up in his throat. 

He closed his eyes once more, trying to will the painful feeling away, and slept.

\--

The battle in Derdriu was chaotic and confusing. It seemed as though the Alliance soldiers were fighting almost incoherently, scattering and reforming at random, as though they had no plan. Except, regardless of where they were, they seemed to be forming paths for the Kingdom army to go deeper into the city. 

As he suspected from Claude, riding slightly behind the front on horseback. In fact, he had doubts if this really was desperation, or just  _ one _ of his many plans. Though what else he would have in store, Byleth had no idea. 

But what else he wasn’t expecting was Arundel, riding up into battle as well. It seemed the noble was dangerous in battle, much more so than he was expecting from the sounds of him before. He was calculative, skilled in dark magic, and was hell bent on getting Claude’s head.

As they journeyed deeper into the city, the beautiful waves of the sea were a stark contrast to the blood soaking the streets. Claude was riding on his wyvern, assisting them as his men flew and ran into formation around the troops of Arundel, now trapped behind the walls. Yes, Arundel didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he simply did not care. Instead, he pushed onward, and just as he was about to speak to Claude in the midst of battle as his wyvern lowered toward the ground, Byleth saw the man on horseback galloping up at a different angle. Because he couldn’t breach the wall of troops to the Alliance leader quite yet, he seemed he was more content to go after the Prince of Faerghus, trying to keep that line strong. While Dimitri knocked away his troops with ease, Arundel prepared a spell, and Byleth turned sharply away from Claude.

“Ah, how cold tea--” Claude stopped as he saw what Byleth was going after, and watched as the man ran full speed at the line of troops, quickly stood  _ up _ off the horse, and leapt with the force of the horse quickly stopping in front of the wall of men. This sent him flying  _ above _ them expertly, adrenaline pumping through him, and while midair he grasped the sword of the creator from its hilt, and swung. With Arundel grinning sadistically, just moments before casting his magic on the prince, the end of the creator sword pierced from him. He turned, shocked, the magic dissapaiting as blood gushed from the wound, the sword removing itself from his chest. As the sword drew back into its proper shape, Byleth prepared himself for the landing as now even Dimitri was watching in surprise, before rolling as he nearly hit the ground. He wasn’t too far up that it would cause any damage, but the roll  _ really _ disoriented him. Once finished, he could only barely raise his head to realize he was now beyond the formation of men, and while he had dealt a lethal blow to the leader of the Empire troops, they could make the playing field equal and kill him. He debated using the divine pulse as his head was spinning, but as the red clad soldiers approached, a blur of blue blocked them. The Alliance defense wall as well opened up, before moving into formation as Claude gave a signal in the skies, and the Blue Lions joined the fray.

“Professor!” Dimitri turned, now that the combat was passing, “You could have been killed.” 

“And I was not…” Byleth mumbled, relieved he didn’t have anything to eat before battle as he was certain it would have come back up by now. The combination of gore and death on the battlefield, the scent of blood, and the roll had made him feel positively sick. Dimitri kneeled to help the other man up, supporting him with ease, while Byleth groaned. In a few minutes, he would be upset by the fact he was being helped. In a few minutes, he would be angry at himself for doing something to make himself so vulnerable and weak, when he was supposed to be strong in front of everyone. In front of Dimitri.

But this was now, and goddess, he wanted to enjoy Dimitri’s arm around his waist and the scent of leather from the animal fur on his shoulders. He wanted to enjoy the vulnerability, selfishly, as he felt like his whole world was a daze.

“Still,” Dimitri sighed, leading him back to his stead. “You are ill, and should take care not to do things like that.” The horse came as Dimitri called, and Byleth continued to steady himself on Dimitri. “But… Thank you, Professor. You saved me, did you not?”

“You are my student.” He replied simply. Yes, student, not king or prince. Though in his heart he knew it was also because it would shatter more than if any other member of the Blue Lions met their end. It would hurt more, because of how badly he knew he had it for the tall haired blond. “It is my duty to ensure your safety.” 

Dimitri chuckled softly, as Byleth found his ground and settled himself onto the horse. With Lord Arundel dead, the battle was swift. It seems Claude did have quite the plan in mind for the Kingdom Army to join him in, and as Byleth trained them, the others were doing quite well on their own. Medics from the Knights of Seiros looked him over as Dimitri ran back into the throws of battle, spear in hand, and Byleth watched as they cast a few spells on his minor injuries. 

Byleth rejoined them as the battle came to an end, knocking down several of the battalion leaders before the army retreated, now down several units. The city had not taken many losses, having all been boarded up or evacuated. Claude was prepared to keep them safe. Byleth was impressed he grew into a fine, if not sly, leader even without his guidance. It was much nicer to see than what had become of the girl with ribbons in her hair. 

It was after that Claude barely gave them a few moments of rest before hopping back onto his Wyvern, and leaving the Alliance to Dimitri, before flying off. Byleth’s jaw dropped open, but before Dimitri could really chew him out, he was gone. Where too, that was a mystery for most of the Blue Lions and church. But Byleth had a feeling it had something to do with the man’s mysterious past and knowledge of Almyran customs. It was still shocking though that he would leave the Alliance to be absorbed into the Kingdom after all of that trouble. 

\--

Back at the monastery, there was one thing really left to do: prepare for the march toward Enbarr, to end this war. Or well, that was what Byleth had assumed, until one evening Dimitri came to him as he worked on strategies. It caught him off guard, his heart catching in his chest when he opened his bedroom door to see Dimitri standing there with his armor removed. 

He didn’t want to hope, he didn’t want to indulge with all the “what ifs” racing through his head, but it was hard to ignore them. 

“Do you… Mind if I come in and speak with you, Professor?” Byleth swallowed, and nodded. 

“Come in.” He let Dimitri pass and shut the door behind him, briefly considering locking it. No, nothing would happen. Nothing would happen.

“I know that… I have not always been the best leader. Not by any measurement.” He sat down on Byleth’s bed slowly, cautiously, before sinking into the quilt as he saw he wasn’t reprimanded. “But there is something I wish to do. Something I want to do before we enter the Empire and begin our march to Enbarr.” Those thoughts were racing again with Dimitri bathed in nothing more than candlelight, his eyes warm with emotion deep in them.

“What is it you want, Dimitri?” Byleth crossed his arms subconsciously, keeping his voice level. As much as he tried to calm himself, Byleth couldn’t help but feel that if he had a heart it would be pounding rapidly. He did not want to get his hopes up, but the last time Dimitri came to his room in the middle of the night it was for physical comfort. Comfort that, if requested, Byleth knew he was more than obliged to provide since his pregnancy wasn’t showing too much, and how hopelessly he desired Dimitri’s warmth even just one more time. And how hopelessly he desired even  _ more _ . But this couldn’t be that. It couldn’t, not after the previous circumstances.

“Professor, I want…” He looked pleading now. “As selfish as it is, I want to speak with Edelgard. I want to hear why she has started this war, and I want to try and reason with her. There is no reason this war needs any more bloodshed.” 

Byleth let out a sigh, his shoulders relaxing. Just as he expected, this was not some kind of silly love confession, Dimitri here to profess those moments of passion were something more. No, he was worried about her. Edelgard, Dimitri’s step sister, but before he realized that, his first love. For all the talk of how much he despised her and would have her head, it was easy for Byleth to see as the war went onward he had some apprehension toward ending her life. He was kind, underneath it all, and wanted to believe in the best of people. Byleth didn’t doubt he genuinely thought words could end this, that she would be desperate enough on the losing side of this war now to see her life meant more than her ideals. 

Byleth knew that was nothing more than wishful thinking. With how headstrong Edelgard was, and how much she was willing to sacrifice, he doubted she would turn the whole thing around because Dimitri agreed to hear her out. If she even showed up to this proposed meeting he would be surprised. But still, Byleth also knew that no matter how much Byleth told Dimitri this, Dimitri would spend his whole life wondering if anything would have changed.

“If that is what you wish to do, I support it.” Byleth replied. Dimitri’s eyes lit up further. It seems he was prepared to be rejected. “Just know it is potentially dangerous. But if that is what you wish, I want to support you. It is best we at least hear out her reasons, if she shows up at all.” Her reasons might lead to fixing the large issues that lead to this happening in the first place, to prevent another war from taking place again. 

“I agree, I just…” Dimitri sighed. “She wasn’t behind Duscur, I know that now. Maybe I always knew but… At the very least, she worked with them. I cannot fathom why she would work with the same people who killed her mother, why she would pile up so many bodies as the foundation of the future she hopes to bring…” Dimitri’s hands balled into fists. “I have so many questions I want answered, and even the chance to get some answers is all I ask, Professor. I know everyone else would deny such a request as childish or believe it is simply a plot of mine to kill her. But I do want to hear her out. I need to, even.” There was that look in his eyes again, so warm with conflicting emotions and love. 

That unwanted emotion came bubbling up inside Byleth again, uncalled for, and selfish. Envy boiled in his stomach and stained his mouth with its bitter taste, but he did not react. Why should he be so upset that Edelgard was his first love, and not Byleth? Byleth was never a candidate for his affections. Those actions in the church and on the bed the prince was seated on were just in service of him, to care for him, and Dimitri returned the favor already by pleasuring the ex-professor. It was nothing more, he reminded himself, it  _ meant _ nothing more.

“I’m aware.” Byleth stepped forward, uncrossing his arms to pet Dimitri’s head gently. A gesture he had done before in class when Dimitri would succeed on tests and Byleth would praise him. His blue eyes and lopsided, embarrassed smile easily chipped away at the numbness around Byleth’s heart before he fell completely for the prince. Dimitri seemed to be enjoying it, his cheeks and ears dusted lightly with pink.

“Thank you, Professor, for your support.” He rose, a delicate smile on his lips, and stood a bit closer to Byleth than he needed to. Still, Byleth calmed his nerves that tensed in anticipation, smiling back softly. “I cannot… Ever repay you for all you have done for me. Not in one hundred lifetimes.” One of Dimitri’s hands rested on his shoulder, and since he was not wearing his gloves, the only separation of skin on skin was his thin nightshirt. He resisted the urge to swallow, and the butterflies in his stomach grew. Ah, how touch starved these hormones pumping through him were making him, and what a nuisance they were. Before, he doubted he would have such an uncontrollable reaction for something so simple. 

“There is no need to pay me back, Dimitri.” Byleth replied. “I am following you because that is what I wish. I believe in you.” Dimitri’s eye widened slightly, swimming with warmth and feelings Byleth couldn’t quite read. “I am your teacher, after all.” With that, the emotions slowed to a simmer, and Dimitri’s eye shut in satisfaction. 

“I’ll send word to the empire. Get some rest, Professor.” With that, he left quietly, standing in the doorway slightly too long, before walking off back to his dorm room. Byleth locked the door behind him, looking back at the plans at his desk, before sighing. His stomach was a mess of fluttery knots and vicious envy, and there was no work he could do in that state. He submitted to letting that be the end of his evening, snuffing the candle out, before curling up under the blankets painfully aware of how empty it felt without the blond there. 


	4. Chapter 4

It was a common day off the battlefield, preparing for their march. Common in that Dimitri was once more pacing the nearly empty meeting room well into the afternoon, lost in his thoughts.

To say there was a lot on the crown prince’s mind would be a massive understatement.

The talk with Edelgard had gone poorly. She did arrive, though she made it clear it was only because the professor had accompanied him. It seems as though she was intent, even so far into this war, to ask if the man had changed his mind. Would she really accept Byleth with how much he had decimated her troops? He was a man who had killed her generals, ended lives, took out hundreds if not thousands of battalions with his strategies and weapons. Why ask him to join? Were his actions not clear enough?

Still, she let him talk, and responded the same. It seemed as though she refused to compromise, and refused to explain herself further. Dimitri was still left wondering just what had shaped her sense of morality this way, what had turned her from the girl he was proud to know if only for a year into the hardened woman she was now. There were so many questions Dimitri had that he knew he would never have answers too. 

But if that and the war were the only major things on his mind, that would be one thing. In his hands he had a ring, belonging to his birth mother. When his father remarried he gifted Patricia a new ring, and entrusted the older ring to Dimitri. It was silver, with a large, bright blue sapphire in the middle, smaller clear crystals on either side. The detailing was superb, even with the Blaiddyd crest, their family seal, around those stones. 

Dedue watched him, knowingly, as the prince once again looked at the ring, gripped tightly between his fingers, before he began pacing again, tucking it away. It wasn’t long after the prince had recovered that he told Dedue everything between him and Byleth, about the night in the cathedral, and the nights in Byleth’s room, before their final affections after Rodridge’s funeral. 

Dimitri was still amazed after how rough and careless he had been, that Byleth would still take him soaking wet in the rain, dry him off, and hold him dear after everything that happened. The kisses peppering his face from the other man made him feel the most alive he had in years. He was so gentle too, easing every worry, wiping every tear, swearing he’ll be by Dimitri’s side as long as Dimitri wished… 

Oh, Dimitri wanted that. Dimitri wanted that so very badly. To have Byleth kiss him that tenderly even once more was much more than the prince ever deserved. He wanted so badly to indulge himself like that once more, to pull Byleth aside in the hall and kiss him once more, kiss him as gently as his body could allow him, and ask Byleth to come to the kingdom with him. Maybe the ring would be far too strong, too fast, despite all they had been through, but he could at least ask him to be his lover… 

Or well, he couldn’t. He felt intense shame and guilt over everything he did to Byleth. He remembered it all very well, every single night. In the cathedral, part of him was simply waiting, waiting for Bylet to refuse him, waiting for Byleth to tell him to stop. He was nothing more than a beast, a murderer, soaked in blood, yet defiling Byleth’s body as much as he desired. But again and again he would seek the other out to get some semblance of relief, to indulge in him. He loved listening to the other man moan as he ate him out, working every moan out he could despite their circumstances, and would allow Byleth to tease him, but never properly pleasure him with his mouth. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t even deserve  _ this _ at all, but he couldn’t stop. He wanted more and more of Byleth, and even still, after every time he came so close to cracking and letting him in, he would shove the professor away from him with harsh words. It was no wonder Byleth kept letting him back into his room at all. 

He couldn’t ask Byleth to be his lover after that, not when it seemed since Dimitri had stopped pursuing, Byleth didn’t respond back. Dimitri only wanted to do it all again if it seemed like Byleth genuinely wanted it instead of… Letting himself be ‘used’ as he put it back then. So many times he would approach Byleth, closer than necessary, silently asking for intimacy. Brushes of the hand, locking eyes, licking his lips, sliding his hand across his shoulder… But nothing. The man hardly reacted at all, and Dimitri couldn’t tell if that was better or worse than loudly and clearly rejecting him, slapping his hands away. Maybe that would be better, as Dimitri would at least  _ know _ and accept the rejection he honestly deserved. Right now, all he could do was debate in his own head if he should be more forward, if he should kiss Byleth again, if he should get him flowers, or write him a letter outlining his feelings… But that fear always pulled him back in.

Dedue was, unfortunately, not of much help either. He simply told Dimitri to do what he felt was right, and reassured him the professor could never really reject him, but that wasn’t fair. If Dedue saw him in those moments, having such rough sex with the professor and saying such harsh words after, he would know that being so forward would be horrible! 

He sighed. Maybe when the war was over he would know if he should ask or not. They weren’t sure if Rhea was alive or not still, though they suspected alive and captured. If she was dead, Byleth would remain archbishop by default and would have his hands full learning to manage the church entirely without her there to guide him. He couldn’t ask him after that to leave but… If Rhea did take back her role as archbishop, and Byleth wasn’t sure what else to do, then maybe… Maybe he could simply ask Byleth to take on a role as his advisor. Surely if the man already despised him that much he wouldn’t have comforted Dimitri at all. 

“No, that won’t work…” Dimitri muttered aloud.

“What won’t work, your H--Dimitri?” Dedue asked, pouring Dimitri a cup of chamomile tea at the table. Dimitri snorted softly. Dedue was still adjusting to calling him just by his name when it was the two of them alone.

“It would be… Abhorrent of me to ask Byleth to come to the kingdom with me as an advisor of some sort just so I can question him later to be my… It would be disingenuous.” 

“Ah, perhaps.” Dedue set the teapot down. “Unfortunately, despite all the Professor has done for me, I believe I am blind to what really goes on in his heart. You are the only one I know of who may know about that.” Did he really? He felt like he only understood him less after all the passionate nights they shared. How could the man go from kissing him like that and having sex with him to just… Nothing at all. Was he only doing what he felt Dimitri needed? Did he really not care either way about sex with him? Or was it he did not care about who his partner was in the act, so long as he also got pleasure out of it? 

The man was a puzzle. A puzzle with pieces scattered and hidden all over the room. It made understanding him all the more difficult. 

“Your Highness--” Gilbert opened the door quickly. “We have word about the front. The Professor has already drawn up battle plans, so prepare tomorrow for the briefing. We will march soon.” Hm, it seemed as though the war was rushing along, with Byleth pushing out plans and battle formations quickly. Of course he trained them and sent them on missions, and rested plenty as well, but… Dimitri was a bit concerned about the man overworking himself. He shouldn’t be rushing along faster than needed just for their sake. At this point, roughly the same amount of people will die regardless. Edelgard refused to call off her army, and was going to force them to cut their way through it. 

Perhaps it was time for another talk with him, though the professor tended to just brush off his concerns. It seemed as though something was troubling him, probably his illness and anxiety over the war, but Dimitri just wanted Byleth to rely on him a little more. Byleth had seen him at his most vulnerable, and Dimitri never felt he had the opportunity to see him in the same. Even if Byleth rejected his romantic feelings, just once Dimitri wanted Byleth to be open and to rely on him, to let Dimitri shoulder the burden of his despair. Even if it was just to complain to him about his ear and his nausea and illness. Even if it was just to speak with him about how hard the war was on him. He just wanted that closeness. He knew more than anyone how painful it was to never be vulnerable like that. 

\--

In the end, the final blow to end Edelgard’s life was from Dimitri, and Byleth could tell how much it killed him to do so. Even in the final moments of them walking out to join the others who left to return to battle outside the castle or have their wounds tended to, Dimitri paused to go back. To hold her corpse and cry and scream and let himself fall, but Byleth grasped him by the hand, pulling him back. With just a look, Dimitri turned once more to face the door, nodding, and followed him outside of the castle littered with imperial bodies. 

Once more, the professor has pulled him back into the light. Once more, the professor has saved him, the warmth of his hands through his gloves giving him so much comfort and grounding him here. Here, in the land of the living, not the land of the dead. 

The battle in the capital eventually subsided, once the news of the Emperor’s death finally reached everyone. Many surrendered, though a few kept fighting. And Rhea was found alive, though in bad health and hardly steady enough to stand on her own. They would march back to Garreg Mach to celebrate, and to decide the organization of the church. 

The ring was still in his bag, and the question was burning inside him the whole march back and in the halls of the monastery. 

He needed to take that risk. To at least start to ask him what his future held, and then go from there. 

Byleth was out of his usual attire the whole dinner, Dimitri realized when he followed him out of the feast in the dining hall. Before, Dimitri simply assumed it was different armor more suitable for his mounted position in the back, but to see him outside of his usual coat and armor even at the monastery was unusual. Instead, he wore looser, more comfortable clothing, a large tunic over a less tight white shirt, and if Dimitri had to guess from the small swell of his chest under the cloak he was also wearing, his chest unbound. Perhaps he simply wanted to… Relax now that the war was over, but still, he looked so  _ odd _ that Dimitri couldn’t help but think it over. 

“Professor,” He called, walking over to the shorter man. Byleth waited for him on his way out into the gardens to head back to his room. “I… I wanted to ask you what your plans were, now that the war is over.” He smiled brightly, standing close once more. 

“Why exactly?” Byleth asked simply, though not at all harshly. Instead he looked curious, one eyebrow slightly arched as he crossed his arms, concealing his chest with Dimitri so close. While the nausea had subsided, he felt even worse in other ways, slightly faint and weak, with the changes in his body becoming all the more apparent. He had two nosebleeds yesterday, binding his chest outright hurt, but he could put off laying in bed if it is to speak with Dimitri. After all, this could very well be the last time he would get to ever speak to the other man alone like this. 

“It’s just…” Dimitri’s cheeks were dusted pink, his heart racing, while Byleth couldn’t quite make it out. Evening was upon them already, with few lanterns out in the gardens, cloaking him and Dimitri in darkness. “You have done so much for me, if there is… Well if there is anything I can do for you after this, I want to know.” Dimitri tried to pull back, but his mouth just kept on moving, words tumbling out as soon as his brain thought of them, “I mean, all you would have to do is ask and you could come to the kingdom with me. Having you as an advisor would be a great honor, and if memory serves you did say when we first met that Faerghus was…” His cheeks grew darker, hands that were clenched into fists trembling. “M-My apologies, Professor, I just… Ah…”

Silence followed at first, as Byleth thought it over. It was strange, the prince asking him to come to Faerghus with him? While Byleth would enjoy being near him, the man he loved so dearly… Well, holding himself back here was hard enough. Even if he wasn’t pregnant, he couldn’t deny the attraction he felt to Dimitri, and he knew it was likely he would be selfish once more. Maybe he could hold back, he mused, for years and years he could hold back and help Dimitri select a wife, submitting himself to doing nothing more than supporting him as Pan did for Loog all those years ago, but…

Well the reality was he was with child. If he stayed in Faerghus, if he stayed with Dimitri, the crown prince would soon discover his ‘advisor’ was pregnant with his child. He would truly humiliate the prince then, in his own home, before being rejected. He’d rather Dimitri just never know.

“A kind offer, Dimitri.” Byleth smiled softly, and Dimitri felt his heart skip a beat in excitement as he could hear just how  _ warm _ his tone was. Was the professor really considering? Was the professor going to say yes? “Unfortunately, I promised Seteth I would remain and help Rhea until she is well enough to take over as Archbishop.” Dimitri’s heart sank, though… That wasn’t an outright no, was it?

“Then…” Dimitri took Byleth’s hand in his own, squeezing it, just as Byleth had done for him after the final battle. “After that, if… If you can…” Dimitri swallowed his anxieties. “If at all possible… Please consider coming to Faerghus. You will always be welcome there, in my castle. The offer always stands, Professor…” His voice dropped softly, Byleth’s hand in his own. He could see those eyes, inhumanely beautiful with their soft green glow looking up at him. The sounds of their companions eating with glee and crying tears of joy that the hard war was over seemed to fade into the background, as he watched, waiting. He squeezed a little tighter, licking his lips once more to invite him once again for a kiss.

Byleth did watch him, overwhelmed with emotion. He knew he couldn’t take that position. There would be too many questions, who did he have a child with and why, if it was really Dimitri’s, if they had a crest… Byleth could try to hide those facts, but Dimitri would probably learn if he got too close. 

Instead, Byleth allowed himself a moment of selfishness, wrapping his arms around Dimitri in a firm embrace. This was in fact probably going to be his last chance to do this ever, in this lifetime. He may as well take it, to memorize the scent of Dimitri the best he could, and give himself a moment of peace. 

Dimitri wrapped his arms around him quickly. It wasn’t a kiss, but it was more than enough. He was still so warm in Dimitri’s arms, pressed against his chest… 

Then, they pulled away softly, smiling once more. 

“Allow me to walk you back to your room, Professor.” Byleth nodded, and they walked quietly. There, Dimitri lingered at his door as they said their goodbyes, waiting to see if Byleth would let him inside. He didn’t, but the warmth from the hug will keep him more than satisfied for the evening. It wasn’t a no either, Byleth may very well turn up at his castle in years time, greeting him with another embrace just like that… He laid down on his bed in his own room, content with the fact he made something resembling progress. Not a kiss, but a warm embrace. It was good enough for now. 

Byleth, on the other hand, threw the cloak over the chair in his room, and curled up. A few stray tears fell from his eyes in pain, but he refused anymore. He wouldn’t cry over Dimitri. Their paths were set in stone the moment Byleth agreed to keep the child. It was too late to go back. He didn’t need to cry when seeing Dimitri off. He needed to hold himself together just a bit more, until everyone went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some dimitri introspection, more lack of communication, and more pregnancy symptoms i had to google month by month. next up will be lots of post canon stuff im looking forward to playing around with. i hope you all still enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh hi the fic is in fact not dead! i had to go through and edit the other chapters from pretty terrible flaws ha ha, and i kinda lost my drive for a while to actually sit down and write for fire emblem despite how much i have been thinking of the fic. however it is back! and i am hoping to actually finish the fic. dunno when i will get back to your den due to not being sure after such a long break where i was going to take it, but i might figure it out after this one is done. 
> 
> godspeed fic kept me surviving and dlc rekindled my desire to write. rip i cant escape intsys yet 
> 
> i hope you still enjoy!

Now that everyone was on their way home, very few students had remained. Despite protest, Annette left the monastery with the promise that Gilbert would in fact write to her and return to Faerghus in due time, after Rhea was recovered and settled in. Mercedes was the only one who stayed, not having a house or territory she needed to return to, to stay and watch over those recovering from the war and mourning the passing of her brother.

And now that the war was over, Manuela still knew he was with child, only growing more and more concerned with Byleth.

“You cannot possibly keep this a secret forever, Professor.” She groaned, seeing him coming by her infirmary to drop off some light supplies. She was already drinking, despite it just being past sundown, but Byleth supposed she had earned it.

“I am aware.” He replied, setting them down beside her desk. “I simply wanted to keep it to myself until the war was over and the students returned home. I did not want to worry them.” It was far too warm for Byleth to be comfortable wearing so many layers, but his stomach and chest were very clearly showing by now if he wore anything that clung to him too tightly. Luckily the clerical robes breathed a little better than 5 shirts. 

“And? Now that they’re gone?” She still glared at him slightly, drunkenly annoyed by his behavior. If she were sober she probably would have been more sympathetic. But she was not. Byleth luckily didn’t mind. He deserved a little criticism after all he put her through and her keeping her silence.

“... I intend to inform the church, and lay low. Stay busy until the due date, and have a hopefully very private birth.” Byleth explained, still not looking at her directly. She threw the rest of her drink back.

“And will the child’s father be in attendance?” She slurred, now staring at her empty glass.

“... No.” 

“Professor--” This wasn’t the first time she had questioned him further, usually while drunk and him coming to get herbs. But his responses were always the same.

“I have told you I have no intention of involving the father.” She did not appear amused. 

“Would you at least explain why?” Manuela sighed. “Was the sex even consensual?”

“It was, of course. This would be a very different situation if it had not been.” He crossed his arms.

“Then why not tell him? You both did so, you both wanted to, you both knew the risks associated with it--”

“Yes, and it was made very clear the consequences did not matter to him.” His voice raised slightly, startling Manuela who nearly dropped her glass. “I am the one who chose to have the child. Even if he wants no part in their life, I wanted this child. I knew that when I made the choice to keep them. That is all you need to know.” His voice had dropped as he explained further, and Manuela looked at him with a look crossed between worry and pity.

“Oh, Professor…” She stood, reaching up to brush his hair with her hand, but he turned away from her. She understood, and pulled her hand back. “You deserve… So much more than that Byleth. You deserve more than a man who would do that.” 

“I understood the risks and the conditions when I agreed to bed him.” He replied back coldly. “I deserve every consequence I agreed to bear.” Her heart broke for him, hearing the way he excused this behavior. Clearly, the man was someone Byleth cared for deeply. Someone who very obviously didn’t deserve the professor’s feelings if he was going to reject him and treat him like this. 

“Now,” he pulled away before she had time to respond further. “I need some rest. Tomorrow I intend to inform Seteth and Rhea. From there we will see what privacy I can be afforded.” With that, he left her infirmary, shutting the door behind him softly. 

\--

Byleth wasn’t happy about the early meeting with Seteth and Rhea, but it was necessary. They wanted to discuss with him the future of the church, and Byleth needed to confess he was with child and needed a place to stay away from prying eyes and anyone informing the kingdom of his condition. 

“I truly appreciate all you have done in my absence.” Rhea’s voice was the same as always, cool and gentle, if not a bit strained. He could see she had applied blush to give her cheeks their usual healthy flush, and she was back in her archbishop’s robes. “Knowing you were able to put a stop to this war, to save countless lives, and keep our people safe… It is truly a blessing you were here.” 

She always looked at him as though he was the world, and still yet, as though she knew more than she let on. 

Seteth stood by her, cautiously, fearing any moment now she would topple over or vanish again. Byleth was beginning to fear the same. 

“It was no problem. I would do anything to aid my students and the monastery.” He sipped the tea Seteth had brewed, the Saint Seiros blend. 

“Still, I am grateful for how much you did, and coming to my aid. Without you, I fear what would have become of me and Fodlan…” Her eyes rested on her tea cup, contemplative and solemn. For a moment she looked so much older.

A pause hung in the air, as she brought the cup to her lips with both hands, carefully, and took a small sip. 

“I have asked so much of you, to watch over them in my place. You have even stopped a war and guided everyone far beyond what I expected, and saved my life.” She set the cup down equally carefully, and Byleth could see the slightest shake to her hands. “And with that, Professor, I must ask what your plans are now that everyone is safe.” 

Byleth mulled over his words carefully. He stared at his own teacup, while Seteth still looked over Rhea. Rhea simply watched him patiently.

“I…” He paused again. “I have a favor I want to ask of you.” 

“Anything in the world.” Her tone was too earnest. Enough to make him feel a pang in his chest. “If I am able to provide it for you, I shall.”

“I need to stay here.” He began, one hand balling up into a fist on the table, his face very slightly twisting from its usual stoic expression to one of fear and concern. 

“You are more than welcome. The monastery's doors are always open to you, and you can always call this place home.” She responded, but took careful note of Byleth’s demeanor. “But there is a reason why you are asking this, isn’t there?” 

He swallowed, and nodded. Rhea could feel the tension around him, and moved her hand carefully across the wood to rest on his, still shaking slightly with exhaustion. “Whatever troubles you you are more than welcome to confide in me, Byleth. I was there to help shoulder your mother’s burdens, and I am truly happy to do the same for you, if that is what you desire.” He gave a shaky sigh, and allowed her hand to rest on his. 

“I…” He tried once more. “During the war, a lot happened. A lot with me. And despite all that was going on, I am…” He pushed down the feelings in his chest of worry and shame in his chest. “I am… With child.” 

Rhea blinked, her expression shifting in the slightest, while Seteth looked visibly startled. 

“Professor--” He seemed more worried for him than upset with him. “You mean to say you were going into battle while--”

“Seteth.” Rhea cut him off, voice stern, before her hand squeezed Byleth’s gently. “Professor, understand fully the bonds than grow and flourish during times of struggle and strife. During conflict and troubles, relationships such as friendship and love can deepen dramatically.” Her words were oddly soothing. “There is no shame, and if you wish to have a child I am all the more happy with the gift you have been given.” He looked up, and her eyes were so strangely knowing and delicate all the same. As though she was looking at her own child when she looked at him. “You will be safe within the walls.” 

“I… Don’t want everyone to know about it.” He explained. “The father of the child either. I want it as private as possible. The last thing I want is for people to be asking me dozens of questions…” He began to ramble, his shoulders slumping. Rhea simply nodded, her thumb now stroking his hand.

“Then it will be a fairly private event. Your mother wanted one as well, though she was mostly kept indoors due to being too weak to walk about on her own.” She didn’t question his motives or who the father was, which was a relief to him. Seteth still looked concerned, but sighed. 

“Privacy is in great supply here, you will find.” Seteth explained. “If you do not wish for the general public to know, then they will not. How far along are you?” 

“Roughly five months, I believe.” He answered. At least, that is what he assumed was the right time. The exact date the child would have been conceived was a mystery. 

“Then you will probably need some private quarters soon, away from the dormitories…” Seteth began his plans. “On the same floor as Lady Rhea we have a few rooms which are not being used much more. Clearing them out and setting up a bed will be a rather simple task.” He disliked being confined to a room or a bed, but that was probably for the best to avoid being seen as much as possible. “Only people who are deemed essential to know will be informed, and will be told very clearly the information is a private matter. Of course, you are free to tell people as much as you wish.” 

Byleth enjoyed that they seemed to be taking it seriously, and without question of who the father was. That was at least a relief. 

\--

Of the people who knew now it was Rhea, Seteth, Manuela, Cyril, Flayn, Gilbert, and Hanneman. Other members of the church knew he was staying there, but were simply told the professor had decided to take time to be alone after the events of the war, which many understood. He may be a hero, but he more than deserved the time away from the public eye and responsibilities, and teaching would not resume until the land had settled from the damage. 

Flayn was given to know. Seteth would likely not be able to keep it a secret from her forever, not with how much she would question him of where the professor was and if he was truly alright. Gilbert as well Byleth knew was a difficult one, if he hid from him too much he would grow suspicious and potentially contact Dimitri, so it was best to act as though he had nothing to hide. Hanneman had learned because one innocent question led Manuela to drunkenly inform him Byleth was hiding away “heartbroken” as she put it, so he worriedly questioned where he was. Since he learned, he mainly came by to keep Byleth occupied, talking about crests, anything new he might have learned about the Crest of Flames, and bring him new books to read up on. It gave him something to pass the time, as much as he longed to be out by the lake fishing during these months.

Mercedes had also been questioning, he heard. And he knew he couldn’t in good conscious keep it from her forever. Not when Seteth also informed him that despite Rhea’s best wishes and efforts, he did not believe she would be well enough to be an appropriate midwife for him during the pregnancy and at birth, so he would likely need to choose a member of the church he felt comfortable with to do that at the very least alongside her. Mercedes had long since confessed to helping families and lost pregnant women with no where else to go deliver. And he also knew she would keep it a secret he was pregnant at all. She was trustworthy and dependable, and it would probably ease her mind at this rate instead of giving her more to worry about. 

He also, in the time being left alone in the high walls of the monastery, received a letter. A letter from none other than the new King of Faerghus. He thought he would be more than busy trying to navigate his kingdom, newly absorbed territory, and juggling his new responsibilities, but it seemed he somehow deemed it necessary to write to Byleth. Perhaps it was sentimentality, or simply a stress relief to chat with his old professor. 

It was still more than preferable to him coming to see Byleth in person, at least.

The letter began simple enough, almost trying to be formal and polite, before dipping down into something a bit more personal and vulnerable.

_ “Dear Professor, _

_ I hope you have been doing well since our departure. I know you have been looking over the monastery and Lady Rhea, a noble goal despite all that you have already done for the church and Fodlan already. I am constantly finding myself marveled by your compassion and dedication. _

_ I do hope you are not overworking yourself. You have to take time to rest as well. No good comes from pushing yourself too hard. A lesson I am as well learning with everything. Dedue is constantly pushing me out of my office and into bed if you can believe it, urging me to get some rest, lest I fall asleep at my desk quill in hand once more.” _ Byleth chuckled a bit at the description, his cheeks beginning to flush. 

_ “I find it hard to sit down and simply relax when I think of all there is left to do, all of the people depending on me, and I imagine you may feel the same. But just as I will agree to try and rest, I hope you will as well. Otherwise I may just worry myself to death over you. _

_ Despite the distance between us, whenever I am not working, I find myself thinking of you again. Even when I am working, my thoughts will drift to you, wishing you were here for guidance or even just companionship. I didn’t realize I had been depending on you so much, but I have found I have been. Now being without you makes me feel the slightest bit lonely. I hope you are not growing lonely without us there.” _ Byleth’s thumb stroked the paper, digesting the words written in fine, neat handwriting. It seemed too personal to be a formality. Too earnest. His chest felt heavy, but warm. Lonely, without him? He felt guilty how pleased that made him feel. It was true that he had been feeling lonely, even before they left. How could he not, when his bed always felt painfully cold when he would think about Dimitri sharing it with him? 

But that was something he would never have. 

_ “If you feel the desire to talk, know I welcome any words you wish to send. Even hearing back from you would be comforting. Even if it is nothing much, just about the monastery, work, or anything you’re thinking about, I wish to hear from you. Maybe someday when the Kingdom’s affairs are in better order I could visit you, though I imagine that won’t be possible for another year or so. If you wish to visit or stay with me I would be eternally grateful for your company, Professor. _

_ Best wishes, _

_ Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd” _

Byleth read over the letter several times, and couldn’t help the swell in his emotions. Despite how much he tried to close himself off, knowing that his secret was kept and that hormones were likely messing with him, he wanted to enjoy the comfort his words brought. Much like the way he sunk into his embrace at Derdriu, he drank in anything Dimitri gave him if he was unable to help himself. 

He sat down, and prepared a letter that would give away as little as possible, to keep him occupied for the rest of the evening. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK IT!!!!!!! TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE NIGHT RIGHT AFTER I WROTE THE LAST ONE!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> i debated keeping these to myself. but yall have been starving enough. if there are mistakes i will correct them when i can. 
> 
> please enjoy

Dimitri had been writing to him often after that. Byleth still couldn’t grasp why, he hardly wrote back anything of interest. He talked about Hanneman’s research, Rhea’s recovery, that Mercedes was doing well. He tried to keep their conversations polite, distanced even. Yet despite the best of things, all of his responses pulled on his chest. Receiving a letter from Dimitri, like clockwork, filled him with joy and all manner of fluttering, warm, and pathetic feelings. At night he would sometimes curl up in bed and read over his words, tracing over his signature, as the little one began to move about and kick in his stomach. 

Such behaviors were bad for his soul, he knew. He would often wake up, letter still on his nightstand, hands searching the bed beside him for the blond haired king. Of course he came empty handed, nothing but cool sheets and the scent of him from his dreams fading. 

This was still his choice, he reminded himself. And with that choice at least Dimitri still wanted to talk with him. If he had revealed it all, perhaps Dimitri would have despised him, not to mention how they might have lost the war if Byleth wasn’t allowed to fight. Everyone was safe and home, and for that he should be grateful. 

Besides, he would soon be far from bored or lonely if a little one needed him. He would soon forget, as damned pregnancy hormones faded and the child grew up. All wounds healed, if not by magic, then by time. A lesson he’s learned often.

\--

Despite everyone’s best efforts, Byelth often grew tired of reading alone in his room, and when the floors were fairly empty he would climb down stairs to his father’s old office. A new captain of the knights had yet to move in, as Jeralt’s memory was still honored. By the time Rhea had returned more than five years later, she still refused to move his belongings. The monastery still had yet to recover, and until a new captain was to be chosen, there was no rush. Byleth was still grateful for that as well.

Sitting in the office on one of the couches, he couldn’t help but feel as though he was back in time. Back before the war. Back before Kronya had stabbed his father, and he perished. Back when it seemed as though, with the quiet sounds of the monastery distant and the scent of blood and death washed from his senses, that Jeralt was simply out on a mission. That he would be back in the next few days from his assignment with a heavy sigh and a shake of his head. That touching his things would be rude, lest his father scold him for not putting his books back in the right place and now he was having trouble finding what he was looking for. 

But Sothis was silent, as she had been for some time. And his father wasn’t returning. 

He opened up the leather bound journal, and skimmed the pages of when he was a little one. 

Would the child he was having be like him? 

A simple thought quickly made his blood run cold as he realized the implications of it. 

His hands trembled slightly and his eyebrows furrowed in worry. What if the child had no heartbeat like himself? What if the child was born dead? What then? Would he mourn them and move on, burying them near his parents? Or would he…? 

One hand came up from the journal to his chest, over the spot where his heart should be. Where the crest stone was located, breathing life into him. His eyes drooped slightly. 

He never fully thought about it, but this crest stone was inside his mother as well, wasn’t it? His mother once called Sothis’ stone her own heart, and gladly gave it up for himself, even if it meant her own death. 

Did she die peacefully? 

Byleth heard footsteps approaching slowly, and he shut the journal. In the doorway was the Archbishop herself, a soft smile on her lips, as usual. 

“Hello, Professor.” She greeted. It was impersonal, which Byleth prefered. If she started referring to him only by his first name it would feel awfully uncomfortable. 

“Hello.” He greeted back the same. She stepped into the room, glancing over the bookshelves and armor, and her face slowly grew sadder and sadder. 

“My,” She began. “It feels as if it was only yesterday I just moved him into this office.” She walked towards the desk, her hands tracing over the wood without a care for the dust that had been settling. “He told me it was far too big, but it was only a manner of time until he filled the shelves with all manner of books.” She pulled one off the shelf, as though she had it memorized. “Have you looked through them, Professor?” 

“Not many of them.” He stared at the leather bound book in his hands. Despite spending his entire life with his father, there was so much he didn’t know about the man. Where he was from, why he chose to be a mercenary above all else, if he had any regrets. 

He sometimes wondered, late at night, if Jeralt ever hated him, even if for a moment. If he stared at the infant that refused to laugh or cry and wondered why someone he loved so dearly chose to give her life for him. 

“Jeralt would press flowers sometimes.” Rhea explained, which grabbed Byleth’s attention. Whenever flowers were around Jeralt seemed disinterested. Byleth as a child had always found them a bit interesting, grabbing them anywhere from meadows to people’s gardens. Sometimes the plants were poisonous, and he would sigh and set about applying ointment and explained to Byleth to never eat plants he wasn’t sure were safe. 

“He did?” Byleth asked. 

“Yes. He asked me how to, which I found quite amusing. I never thought him the type, though I soon found out why.” She pulled a delicate flower out, a slightly faded blue bell. “Your mother adored flowers. He wanted to press them so they would survive the trip back to her.” 

His mother enjoyed flowers? Byleth looked hard at the blue bell, before back down to the journal. 

“He never told me much about her.” Rhea smiled softly still, coming to sit beside him with a book likely filled with various flowers.

“Grief… Does a lot to someone. I have no doubts he worried about your safety as well.” She seemed to be contemplating things. “For the longest time, I thought the safest place for you to be was here within these walls. But I respected that for a time, he probably wanted you to grow up seeing the world beyond them. The world Sitri wanted so desperately to experience…” 

“She wasn’t allowed to leave?” Byleth asked. Rhea’s hands traced over the flowers delicately. 

“It is not so much she wasn’t allowed. I would not try to keep her from it forever, not if I felt she was safe. She was always just so frail.” She picked up another, a dried poppy that had faded slightly on the edges from a vibrant orange to soft brown. “She left with the other nuns once to a village, and had to be rushed back. She fainted from the heat, despite it only being spring, one day into the journey.” She put it down just as gingerly. “She did not make many expressions, but I could tell she was upset. She did not leave her room for days after her recovery out of pure stubbornness.” Her face lit up with another smile, like one Byleth saw other women make when they talked about their own children. 

“I always worried about her, not just about her health. I always worried more than anything that Sitri would be so… Lonely here. That she would grow unhappy.” Byleth studied the flowers as well. “I was overjoyed when I saw how happy Jeralt made her. She never smiled as much as she did when your father was around.” 

“... I see.” 

“I hope you don’t grow to resent your time here either, Professor.” She smiled at him, and gently closed the book with the flowers safely inside, and placed it on his lap. She then stood, and began to walk to the door. 

“Wait--” Byleth began, and she paused. 

“Yes?” 

“Could you… Some other time,” Byleth wasn’t sure why, but the pull to learn more was there. “Could you tell me about… Sitri again?” Rhea smiled, positively beaming, at him.

“Of course. I am more than happy to share my memories of her with you.” 

\--

Mercedes was put in charge of being his midwife.

When she received the news, Byleth was expecting her to be a bit more surprised, but she seemed almost knowing when told. 

Of course she would know. He could see the way her eyes bore right into him during the war. How she fretted on him despite him reassuring her it was his ear upsetting his balance and nothing more. How she always made sure he got plenty to eat. 

Her new position, however, lead to her currently going through his tea collection. He crossed his arms as she put all of them into a box.

“Forgive me, Professor,” She placed several containers away. Some of them were hard to get a hold of, but she assured him she was not throwing anything away. Just putting it away safely in storage, marked correctly in the kitchen pantry. “But some of these contain herbs that can be harmful. Until the child is weaned, it’s best to not keep these around for tea. But then you are more than welcome to enjoy them after!” 

He shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m not too picky about tea.” It was true. Mainly it was just something he liked doing with others. Even on Flayn’s birthday he got Seteth to sit down with him and Flayn and the two enjoyed a cup, while Flayn asked about what type of bait was best for which fish. She seemed determined that since the professor didn’t want to go down stairs to fish, she was going to catch him her favorites. He only made her promise to take them to be cooked in the kitchen rather than prepare them herself. 

Just to save her the extra effort, he lied. He wasn’t going to tell her to her face on her birthday that her cooking was horrific and burnt. Though, he couldn’t help the sour feeling of jealous spark up in him when he remembered that Dimitri still ate it without complaint. 

“Well that is good!” Mercedes remarked, finishing packing them all away as she closed the book she was reading to double check the recipes. “There is still plenty of tea for you to enjoy. Let me just take these downstairs.” She gave him a nod, and shut the door behind her carefully with her foot. Byleth didn’t like feeling so helpless, as though he couldn’t even carry a box downstairs for himself, but it would raise a few too many questions. 

Instead of dwelling on it, he looked through his tea cabinet. Several boxes he forgot about were moved to the front, including some chamomile that had been neglected. 

Ah, that was right. Dimitri’s favorite. 

He took out the box and removed the lid, inhaling deeply. It was a soothing tea, one his father would make him sometimes if Byleth was ever fussy about sleep. He never thought much of it back then, it didn’t too much to convince him to rest his head. But here he learned it was the prince’s favorite, and found himself eagerly inviting him to tea every chance he got. 

Dimitri always loved the scent of it. So Byleth loved it all the same. 

It tugged at his heart more, but despite that, he pulled out his kettle, boiled some water, and made himself a pot. Dimitri usually had it no honey or lemon, so he had it the same. 

Warm. Comforting. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine the King sitting near him, smiling lopsided and trying to make conversation. He hummed against the cup, before sighing softly as he put it back on the saucer. 

He was alone in the room. A bird was preening outside. Dimitri was not there. He was home, taking care of far more important matters.

The little one kicked in his stomach. It seemed they also liked the tea, much like their father. 

\--

He found a collection of letters between Sitri and his father. It still felt so weird to try and call her “mother”, so he used her name for now. 

She seemed so much like him. She asked Jeralt while he was stationed in a village what it was like to swing a sword. Such a strange question baffled Jeralt, who clearly did not know how to respond to it. He found himself smiling. To him, swinging a sword felt as natural as walking at times. He would also be at a loss if someone who had never done so asked him how it felt. 

He also knew he had his own collection of letters from Dimitri. It was already growing cold in the capital, and Dimitri asked him if the chill reached him yet. Byleth responded that they still had several warm days. Dimitri informed him to be prepared to bundle up as fall approached. 

He also sent Dimitri another box of Chamomile tea to enjoy. He had debated holding off sending it for Dimitri’s birthday, but he quickly realized the little one would be born around December. He might not get the chance. 

Perhaps he shouldn’t have bothered with a gift at all. But still, despite how much he cursed himself, he waited for Dimitri’s response. Despite how much the man could never be anything more than this for him, he wanted to drink up every word from him. He traced over every signature of his, seeing a pattern of when he wrote to him while tired, his ink smudging or the penmanship growing sloppy. He smiled, imagining the king up late thinking about nothing but him as he desperately tried to fill a letter with his response, carefully choosing each word. 

Such selfish thoughts. But Dimitri made him want to be selfish.

He also knew, as the Wyvern Moon came to a close, he needed to choose a name for the child. 

He figured Sothis, if it was a girl, but perhaps that was a bit much. He had never actually met someone else named Sothis, so he assumed naming a child after a goddess was too much. Perhaps as a middle name it could be deemed acceptable. He was certain Rhea wouldn’t mind. He still needed to think over the first one. 

Boys names was harder. Sothis likely wasn’t an acceptable name choice either, but naming him after his father was out of the question. He knew he shouldn’t pick any name too closely associated with Dimitri, but he couldn’t help but want to. Alexandre? No, too long. He could shorten it to Alex, but he wasn’t that fond of the name. 

He tapped his pen, scrawling in a journal of his own various names, crossing off some he deemed unacceptable. 

He recalled what Rodridge said once, when he was divine pulsing to try to save him. He mentioned the name of Dimitri’s father, Lambert. 

Hm. The name wasn’t that bad. He quite liked it shortened as well. Little lamb. Fairly cute for a child, if he was allowed to think so. If anyone questioned him about it, he could simply deny it and that he liked the names, and burn this journal.

Sitri Sothis Eisner if it was a girl. Lambert Jeralt Eisner if it was a boy. 

Sothis, he felt, would be admonishing him. But in his defense, he was never very creative with names. 


	7. Chapter 7

In Byleth’s head, he always felt having a child was going to be a lot easier. Certainly he knew it would hurt, but he’s broken ribs and survived gashes and arrows in his legs. He has been through a war and then some, rewriting battles where he has nearly died at the last moment over and over, taking blows for someone else’s sake. 

It was an entirely difficult situation when it came. 

Mercedes helped him through him, keeping his breathing even. Easy enough, at the start. Between the waves of pain he had ample time to prepare his mind for the next, but soon found as the moments went on, that the window of time to collect himself grew shorter and shorter. Meanwhile the waves did not cease. 

A healing spell could banish the pain of an arrow in his thigh. He could pass out from magic setting his rib. He could sleep off other pains while medicine did their work.

Unfortunately, this required him to be awake, and most herbs to banish pain were not good for the baby. He had some, at request as sweat pooled on his brow. Mercedes did good work helping him through it by trying to distract him, asking him questions as though they were at tea to ease his pain during the early parts. 

He appreciated it, though at some point while staring up at the ceiling as Rhea, Seteth, Flayn, and Mercedes made sure he was medically stable, he thought about Dimitri. 

Part of him did wish Dimitri was here. He was damning himself to eternal flames at this very moment. The blond, if he would have come, could have stroked the bangs from his face, kissed him softly, encouraged him. Right now all he was thinking about was how, if he died after this, Dimitri would never even really know why. That he wouldn’t be able to tell him. 

Funny what pain did to his thoughts. 

While the others left for a few brief moments to get supplies, his hand quickly grasped Rhea’s arm tightly. Her green hair was a mess, her headdress thrown off haphazardly when she heard Byleth went into labor. He could see the circles around her eyes starting to come back as she fretted over him. 

“If…” He groaned from the contraction, still far from yelling in pain quite yet. “If something happens… Like with Sitri…” Rhea brushed the hair from his face like had imagined Dimitri doing, hushing him softly. 

“We can make that decision when the time comes.” She assured him.

“No, wait,” He still held her tightly. “If I pass, from any means,” He groaned again, holding her hand likely too tight for comfort. This was honestly the most he felt his face contort from emotion in a while, a foreign feeling. “Tell… Tell Dimitri. About the child.” 

“I would of course send word--” Her voice stopped abruptly as she realized his words. There was a pause, before Byleth groaned again.

“I’ll tell him.” Her voice was low. “Of course I will tell him, Byleth.” Her voice was soothing, and with that, one worry was taken off his shoulders. Mercedes rushed back in first with water, and Seteth put some wood in the fire to keep the room warm. It was getting well into the night, snow falling outside. Mercedes ran a rag across his forehead, and he felt some relief. His head felt like it was spinning, and another wave of pain crashed over him. It was starting to get annoying. 

The Ethereal Moon was almost over, and he was wondering if the little one was going to be born during it or after. He was honestly between hoping it would be several more hours until the first rolled around, to spare them being born the same month as their father. Then again, it being over sooner was also tempting, he thought, as another contraction passed and he tried to steady his breathing again. 

He continued, Mercedes being wonderful assistance. She was able to guide him through it easily enough, until, finally, he was met with the sounds of soft crying that soon broke into a wail. A bit further, and finally, the little one was cleaned up by Mercedes, and bundled up in a blanket to rest on his chest by Rhea. 

He breathed. It was nearly over. The hardest part was done, at least. Healing spells were cast to ease some of the pain, and the little one quieted down as soon as they rested on Byleth. 

They had just the slightest tuff of blond on their head, eyes still closed. Byleth couldn’t blame them. He was exhausted as well. 

“Well done Byleth.” Mercedes smiled. “And Lady Rhea, I was so happy you could help.” 

“It was no problem.” Their voices were hushed, as to not wake the newborn. Byleth’s eyes shut. The little one was so warm against him, breathing delicate and soft. 

“If you have any ideas for names, I would be happy to get the paperwork taken care of for you.” Seteth began. 

“Boy or girl?” He asked. 

“It’s a darling little boy.” Mercedes replied, washing her hands.

“Lambert Jeralt Eisner.” He said, “And the date?” 

“The 31st of the Ethereal Moon.” Seteth replied, writing the name down on the piece of parchment. “A few more hours until midnight. But I am glad it wasn’t too lengthy a process for you, Professor.” Byleth grunted, stroking the soft blanket Lambert was bundled in to keep him warm. 

After a few more hours, the placenta passed, and given his condition was stable, he was free to rest. Mercedes put his son in his crib gingerly, wrapped up well to keep him warm. As soon as the candles went out, he was out like a light.

\--

It had been a few hours since the little one was born when Hanneman took him gingerly from his crib. It hadn’t been the first time he ran the test on a newborn, and much like nobles, a quick scan wouldn’t hurt him. He was scanned and returned to his crib before he even awoke, and once back in bed did Hanneman begin looking over the information.

He was expecting the Crest of Flames, the same as Byleth. Perhaps even the Crest of Seiros from Jeralt, which he was on record as having. Even not having one was something he had also accounted for. Yet he was completely baffled by what he found. 

The child did have a crest. A major crest of Blaiddyd, of all things. While Byleth’s origins were a mystery, his mother was never really on public record. Byleth also seemed to have a soft spot of Faerghus, so it wasn’t too unusual to surmise that perhaps his mother was from there and might have some distant relation to the family. Yet, the major crest hadn’t shown up even in the main Blaiddyd line for the last several generations! How curious, though not unusual for a side branch of the family to develop a major crest. Understanding why such a mutation happens would be invaluable for his research, but the child was still far too young for intense testing, and Hanneman was certainly going to wait until he was an appropriate age and ask Byleth if he may. 

For now he was going to search the records once more of Byleth’s name to see if anything could be uncovered. 

\--

Having a baby was hard.

Having a newborn baby was  _ hard _ . 

The little one was not at all like Byleth when he was young. All of his father’s journals outlined how he was a quiet child who never really fussed, never laughed, and never cried. 

Lambert cried. A lot. An awful lot. More than Byleth has ever heard before. When he closed his eyes at night, in the back of his mind, he could still  _ hear _ Lambert crying, despite the fact he was fast asleep. 

But still, his little Lamb was as darling as could be. When he fell asleep on Byleth, Byleth felt truly at peace, and when he needed rest, Mercedes was more than happy to help him with changing him and rocking him to sleep. He slowly adjusted to holding him, soothing him, and keeping his voice level. It gave him something else to focus on when he was reading and rocking his crib gently. 

But still, despite everything, there still felt like there was something missing. The tuffs of blond hair made it all the more obvious what was missing in fact. 

Lambert’s father. Dimitri did not even know of his existence. A letter came a day after he was born, thanking Byleth for the birthday gift of a small charm said to soothe someone and ward of nightmares, but Byleth was far too tired to respond for several days now. When he had the energy, he would send word that he was simply far too busy. Maybe even inform Dimitri months from now they had found an abandoned child at the monastery and that Byleth had taken up raising him. 

But laying awake, he wondered what else Dimitri was up to. If his kingdom was urging him to take a wife soon. What kind of wife he would select. What kind of father he would be. Byleth told himself these were all just thoughts that didn’t involve him, of what kind of family Dimitri would have without him, but he couldn’t help but picture Dimitri holding the little Lamb in his arms, taking to him gently, kissing his head to soothe him, smiling at him. 

If he was here, right now, maybe they could be sleep deprived together, and warm under the heavy quilt. Maybe there would be a few less nightmares for Dimitri. Maybe they could even be a…

No. 

No that was far enough.

Dimitri needed a family without scandal. A family without hardships. A family he chose to have. His partner will be kind to him. Perhaps gentle Marianne who helped him during the war as a kindred spirit. Perhaps a suitable young woman who could stroke his hair and keep him safe, who could give them many happy children to run about the large castle. 

Byleth’s home was here, at the monastery. Far away from the prying eyes of the King’s other advisors, and far away from shattering the relationship he had with Dimitri. His friendship with the King was too precious to risk. And right now, while not completely happy, it was enough. He had a child he adored, Dimitri still spoke to him, the war was over, and he had a roof over his head and food for the both of them. 

It was enough, he told himself. Enough.

Enough.

\--

“My,” Gilbert remarked, walking into Hanneman’s office. “What has you in such a storm?” There were books and records strewn about his office, all laid out as the researcher looked between them.

“I had quite an idea. My curiosity was peaked recently, and I wanted to know just why it is that crests can change from major to minor so suddenly, including a major crest developing in a side family’s lineage.” He explained. “My own father had a major crest, but myself and his father before him had minor crests. Such a conundrum really. How can I understand the true purpose and function of crests if I cannot explain why such spontaneous developments occur? If it was simply how close someone was related to one of the heroes or saints, why would they change in the same family, or spontaneously develop in a side family?”

Gilbert, being more of a man of faith, simply grunted. “Perhaps… It is simply the will of the Goddess. Force of will, courage of the man, or even just pure chance could probably influence it.” Yet, Hanneman did not seem swayed by any of these as possible solutions, still recording down and drawing up family trees. 

“If it was all random chance or the will of the Goddess, my work would be for naught!” He exclaimed. “I know there is something I can do to better understand it. Even the Goddess must have had a rhyme or reason for how they work.” Gilbert sighed.

“What has started this in particular?” 

“Well, I did a minor test on Professor Byleth’s son. Just a quick look to see if he possessed a crest, nothing that a child his age wouldn’t have done in a noble household.” He began. “And I was expecting the Crest of Flames or the Crest of Seiros, only to find it was neither, nor was he crestless! And I believe that unless I uncover the reason why they develop so suddenly in side families or find out who Byleth’s mother was, I may never find out why the child possesses a different one outside of his lineage?” 

Gilbert paused. “... What crest does the child bear?” He has had a strange feeling since the little one was born. His name just seemed unusual. When he questioned Byleth about it, the man simply replied he liked the name and there was nothing more to it, and that his middle name was his father’s. But the hair and name together made him paranoid, along with the fact during the war he had seen Dimitri coming and going from the Professor’s room late at night on more than one occasion.

“A major Crest of Blaiddyd, if you’d believe it!” Hanneman explained. “Quite different from the Crest of Flames as Professor Byleth has, though he did show some allegiance to the Kingdom of Faerghus when he arrived, I am told. He might have even been from there, and his mother might have been connected to a minor family. But of course, these are just hypotheses.” 

“Right…” Gilbert responded. “Well, I wouldn’t know much about crest research, so I will leave you to your studies without disturbing you further.” 

“Take care! I will be sure to clean up after myself and return the books to the library shortly, if someone requests them.” He called after him, as Gilbert shut the door. 

From there, Gilbert did his best to quietly walk to his room without suspicion. 

He knew the orders given to him by Lady Rhea, and he would never question her authority. It was clear she was simply trying to respect Byleth’s wishes, and had a maternal role with him. But this was a manner of the kingdom, not a manner of the church. 

The child was a legitimate heir to the throne, the next in line after Dimitri. Even without marriage, it was stated the first born of the king with a crest shall rule, and if none are to be produced, then one possessing a crest from the king’s siblings or a branch family may be necessary. And this would not be the first time a child out of wedlock was born with a crest, making them the true legitimate heir. Even if they were to be kept a secret, it is best Dimitri at least know of the child’s existence, for he could come back to claim the throne if he so desired.

He pulled out a sheet of parchment and began his letter. 

\--

Dimitri sighed. The work of a king right after a war was troubling. The citizens of Enbarr both resented him, and depended on him for rations. It was a difficult balance, with rogues and bandits stealing whenever they pleased, and having to be careful with food management. Still, the Alliance seemed to be more than happy to comply, to a degree. The merchants wanted more than just doing charity work, and intended to try and make a profit off of those suffering and hungry, but a few words from Lady Rhea had them more than happy to “drop” their prices down to the point they were nearly free. Enough for the kingdom to afford. 

He also had to see to it that no more of the demonic beasts would ever be created. The crest stones were turned over to the church to be locked away for a good while, and the knowledge of the dark arts purged from the Empire’s libraries. 

It was cold in the castle, at times. He could still hear the voices tormenting him, this time simply exhausting him further rather than spurning him on bloodlust. They would likely never leave him until the day he died, but if he could manage them, it was more than enough.

He longed for the professor, still. He was hoping any day now Lady Rhea would be deemed fine enough to continue control of the church, and that Byleth would send word he was coming to see Dimitri. Or even better, turning up for a surprise visit to his door. If he came, Dimitri was certain he would be so overjoyed he would pick the man up right off of his feet in a warm embrace. 

His cheeks flushed at the thought. But it was true he was madly in love with the professor. Byleth had captured his heart long before the war, and the fact he would lay beside Dimitri at all made him all the more confused why he seemed so distant. How could he go from kissing the tears right off his face and holding him in his bed all night to holding him at an arm's length away? Had he hurt the professor? Offended him perhaps? The idea he could have hurt the professor was enough to cause his heart and head to ache terribly. Not helping the fact was Byleth hadn’t written to him in several weeks now, and he was beginning to worry.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. With a yawn, he stood from his desk, charm gifted to him around his neck. 

“A letter for you, Dimitri.” Dedue spoke softly in the quiet halls. “It was stated it was urgent.” 

“Thank you, Dedue.” Dimitri took it. “Get some rest as well.” 

“Of course.” Dedue turned, and began down the hall to his own room, giving a yawn as well. 

Dimitri shut the door gently. Normally, given how late it was, he would leave something like this on his desk until he awoke in the early morning as usual. Even if he didn’t have nightmares all the time, a feat he attributed to the charm the professor gave him now, he still was awoken by wailing voices sooner or later. 

Still… The fact he hadn’t heard from Byleth in some time was heavy on his mind, and the war had only recently ended. The idea that some of Edelgard’s old troops may have survived and planned an attack on the monastery was something he feared, and the letter did have the seal from the church sealed in wax. He sighed, and sat on his bed to open the letter. 

_ “Your Majesty, _

_ I did not want to inform you by letter of such a serious matter. I believe such things would be better discussed in person, but matters beyond my control confine me to writing.  _

_ You are probably not aware, as the church wished to keep this a closely guarded secret, but something has happened. The Professor, Byleth, was with child. I had my suspicions viewing the child, seeing as he had blond hair, and bore a name that was common in the royal family, but I did not believe in making assumptions and allowed him the freedom to discuss this with you in due time. _

_ However, Hanneman had done a test on the boy of his own volition, as part of his research, and the young child bares the Blaiddyd crest, making him a legitimate heir. I fear of the future if you took a wife and such a child appeared, hurting you with the secret kept from you only revealing it if he came to contest his right to the throne.  _

_ This matter is not one I can simply let go. I was sworn to protect the royal family, and so I shall do so. I believe it would be wisest if you discuss with the Professor the child’s future in person. If you are his father, you have that conversation at the very least within your right. And if he is your child, perhaps it would be best for you and the professor to raise him in the castle. That is your decision to make with him, however.  _

_ Please respond or arrive shortly. I will do my best to ensure the child’s safety from my position.  _

_ Signed, _

_ Gustave Eddie Dominic _

_ Knight of the Royal Guard” _

The letter slipped from his hands as he finished reading it, his face pale white. 

He had slept with the professor, yes, but surely if--

Dimitri counted backwards. If the child was born recently, then it must have been conceived during the war, during the time when he and the professor would… 

He recalled the warning the professor gave him, one night as he redressed to leave. His memories were a bit hazy from back then, but it stuck out. The professor warned him of just what a risky activity it was that they were doing, given Dimitri did not bother to pull out, and the professors anatomy. 

Foolish. He was so uttler, completely  _ idiotic! _ The professor warned him and he simply brushed it off, as he was too busy with his death wish to march to Enbarr to think of the consequences, to think of what such an act truly  _ meant _ ! He would have never been so risky if he was in the right mind, not during a war. And what he said in response, no wonder Byleth never told him. He must have just assumed Dimitri did not care for any child they may or may not produce! 

His mind was racing now, as he stood from the bed to dress himself and get his belongings together. He paused, before opening the doors and rushing down the hall to speak with Dedue before the man fell asleep. 

Byleth was pregnant during the war. That was why he threw up over the balcony on the night of the celebration. Byleth  _ knew _ he was pregnant when Manuela looked him over, but he did not tell Dimitri, which was why his demeanor was so strange. Byleth was pregnant when he jumped over a wall of men to save his life and kill the enemy commander, nearly getting himself killed. 

Byleth put himself in so much danger without telling him, without telling  _ any _ of them! Byleth was so completely reckless and stubborn to match Dimitri’s foolish mind! And if he wasn’t so enraged with himself, he would nearly be angry at Byleth as well! 

“Dedue,” He spoke loudly, opening the doors. Dedue was just finished being changed into his nightclothes, but stood up straight to see Dimitri dressed, if somewhat messily, and half dressed. 

“What is it? Is there danger?” Dimitri shook his head.

“Danger, no. But we must leave at once for the monastery.” 

“Why is that, Dimitri?” Dimitri had the letter crushed in his fist, but luckily it was free from tearing.

“You recall that the… Professor and I…” Dimitri averted his eyes. Dedue nodded.

“Has he returned your affections?”

“Far from it.” Dimitri replied, and Dedue’s eyes furrowed, but Dimitri continued to save him the trouble of guessing further. “He… Did not tell me that our… Our union produced a child, Dedue.” 

“... The professor can--” Dedue cut himself off. He knew such magic existed, but perhaps he would keep the comments to himself for that. “And you believe it is yours?”

“It must be. I believe I was the only one laying with the professor at the time the child would be conceived, and he possesses my crest.” Dimitri’s heart was racing. Him, the child, he had a son. Goddess this was all coming over him in waves at the realizations continuing to crash on him. Byleth had a son with him. Dimitri had a son--

“He has told the church he doesn’t want anyone to know, but Gilbert found out about his crest and informed me. I cannot say I am… Happy he has gone behind Byleth’s wishes, but I am glad to know. I don’t know what I would do if Byleth kept this a secret from me forever, regardless of if I deserve it…”

“Dimitri, you cannot speak of yourself in that manner.” Dedue responded, shrugging on a proper outfit. “He chose to be with you, and I firmly believe it is because he returns your feelings.”

“He neglected to tell me likely due to some of the things I said back then.” Dimitri’s eyes drooped slightly. “I… I had told him it did not matter if our union produced a child or not because I thought it foolish that someone as damned as I felt would live long enough to be a father. I was being short sighted and selfish and I--”

“Dimitri,” Dedue cut him off, tying his hair back. “That is an explanation best suited for the professor.” He then began to pack up a few outfits. “You cannot change the past, but you can try to mend it. All you can do is explain yourself and your feelings to him openly and honestly this time. Now, go prepare, I will inform the guard we need supplies and a carriage. It will be a small group of people from the kingdom, so we can avoid raising suspicion.” 

“... Thank you Dedue.” Dimitri sighed. “I do not know what I would do without you.” Dedue smiled softly, and Dimitri left back to his room to resume packing.

Dimitri wished, getting into the carriage with a heavy cloak around him, that Byleth had at least told him when the war ended. Dimitri would have asked him more earnestly to come stay with him, or would have at the very least come to see the child be born. He wanted to be there for Byleth during such a joyous occasion, and see the beautiful child he and Byleth would have produced. 

A son. A son he hoped Byleth would allow him to call his own, if he was not scarred by what Dimitri had said to him back then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gilbert u fuck. like yeah nice and all that u are getting dimitri to know but also wow Rude disrespecting byleth
> 
> they will talk. soon. not yet. but soon. i cannot tell you when. i have a plan though


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bro i CANNOT stop writing. someone kill me.
> 
> if you all hate short, constant, and erratic updates i am so so so sorry. i cannot stop thinking about this fic and blow through words. at the very least i can say my chapters are consistently much shorter than some fics, so it's not like im pounding out 10k every day or something. 
> 
> i am possessed. i love dimitri and byleth so much.

It was quiet during the winter months. People came to the monastery for supplies and rations, as the land was still torn by war, but without the bustle of the Officers Academy in session, Garreg Mach seemed hushed, if not silent. There was no ball, and several of the knights were off on missions distributing supplies and slaying stray demonic beasts. 

With how sleepy and dreary it was, sometimes the only thing to do was drink.

“Oh…” Manuela sighed, holding a glass of wine while Hanneman casually looked over notes. She did her best not to complain about him taking work with him to come drink, as he had at least complied, and when was the last time she had a drinking partner? Byleth certainly wasn’t in any condition still, and there weren’t going to be any men to flirt with any time soon. It was either him looking at some notes every now and then, or drinking alone. “How dull.” 

“Well, it is winter.” Hanneman remarked, looking out at the soft flurry of snowflakes falling on the stone bricks outside the window. It wasn’t coming down hard at all, but he knew they were overdue for a storm. One would probably be on its way tonight. 

“Remember the White Heron Cup? How exciting that was?” She took a large drink, sighing. “Nothing exciting happens around here anymore.” 

“Well, the Officers Academy likely won’t be reinstated for another year or so when the reconstruction efforts bear fruit and Garreg Mach’s repairs are finalized.” Hanneman replied, before humming. “Though I can’t say I don’t miss it. The Golden Deer house was a delight to teach our final year, even if I am fairly certain Hilda didn’t write most of her essays.” Manuela snorted, before giving a laugh.

“At least you weren’t teaching the…” Maneula trailed off, before sighing. “Ugh. I can’t even make light of that. Not after all that happened.” She took another drink, before refilling her glass. “Edelgard seemed like such a good kid back then. Attentive, setting good examples, never a sore loser for long.” Manuela stared at the snowflakes as well now, remembering the peaceful days before the war. “I feel almost as though my student back then and the emperor were two different people. It’s… Sad to know she’s gone, despite all that happened.”

“It’s understandable.” Hanneman said. “We are professors and teachers, here to guide our students. None of us saw what happened coming.” 

“The whole war was a mess, and I’m glad it’s over, I just--” She took another long drink, her cheeks beginning to flush in the slightest. “I almost just wish that it all just went back to normal. That the five long years of the war were just a bad dream.”

“Don’t we all. But it won’t go away, all we can do is do our best to try and pick up the pieces, and hopefully make something good of it.” His smile was oddly reassuring. Manuela envied that sort of genuine, happy smile. 

“Why, I am already trying to do my best to understand how crests work. Perhaps, if I can, we can all live a better life here.” Manuela laughed softly.

“You and your crests…” Normally she would admonish him, but she even envied the fact he still had research and work to do. There was no teaching to be done, and the Opera house still wasn’t in working order yet, so she was relegated to other tasks around the monastery and usually left bored. The nuns tended to most of the sick, but at times Manuela was called in to look at serious injuries sustained during the war that went untreated, broken bones never set properly, broken noses making it hard to breathe, nerve damage, even paralysis… Many were painful or impossible to fix. It was a hard duty for her, telling people the pain would be comparable to getting the injury, or that there was nothing she could do.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What are you working on now.” Manuela asked. At least it would kill time while they were drinking so early in the day. 

“Well,” Hanneman smiled. “I decided to try and tackle understanding why minor crests can develop into major ones over the course of a generation, or why side branches of a family can develop a major crest.” He turned the page in his notes. “The Professor’s crest is of course still a mystery, but even more intriguing is his son’s!” 

“You already looked at his crest?” Her eyebrow raised.

“Just a quick look, nothing noble newborns don’t also go through.” Hanneman explained. “I have no intention of directly involving young Lambert in my work until he’s much older and Byleth gives full consent. I just thought it would be interesting to see if he too was born with the Crest of Flames and if this would be a new bloodline carrying it. Unfortunately, he doesn’t bear the crest, so I am once again stumped on how crests are passed down.” 

“So is he actually crestless?” Manuela didn’t care honestly, she was born crestless and was a fine instructor and songstress.

“No, not crestless. He simply just doesn’t bear the Crest of Flames or the Crest of Seiros, so I was curious of Byleth’s mother’s heritage. Unfortunately I can’t find any information on her it seems.”

“What crest does he have then?”

“Why, a Major Crest of Blaiddyd! How unusual.” 

There was a pregnant pause, Manuela’s jaw slack as Hanneman wrote a few more things down. 

“Hanneman…” Manuela set her glass down, eyes wide. “Have you told anyone else about his crest?” 

“Hm? Well not many people have asked, and I haven’t been sharing around that Byleth has a child. After all, I know it is a private matter. The only person I have told was Gilbert who asked.” Maneula felt panic bubbling in her.

“Hanneman you dolt!” She stood up from the table suddenly, Hanneman’s pen nearly smearing ink across the page.

“What?” He looked at her incredulously. 

“What do you mean, ‘what?’?!” She slammed a palm onto the stable, the glasses shaking. “Do you really think that crest came from Byleth’s mother of all people?”

“Well where else would it be from?” Hanneman was also standing now, more than a bit offended by her sudden outburst. It seemed as though everything was going well between them for the conversation. 

“How about Lambert’s  _ Father _ !” Hanneman looked baffled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, that would mean--” Hanneman slowly processed what she meant. 

Dimitri and Byleth were always more than a bit close. He couldn’t deny that, nor the way the prince had been bringing Byleth flowers, and the way Claude always seemed to make jokes about them being together every chance he had in the academy days. Not to mention in his records ‘Lambert’ was a common name in the Blaiddyd royal family, going back generations. 

“You do mean to imply that Dimitri and Byleth--”

“Of course I mean to imply that!” Manuela grit her teeth. She recalled the way Dimitri fussed over the other man, bringing him in to be looked at in his own panic despite Byleth just having a bit of nausea, and the way he asked Byleth to come visit him in the capital whenever he had time with flushed cheeks as they saw the prince off at the gates. 

“If that were the case then why keep it a secret from him?” Hanneman’s eyebrows furrowed. They seemed to be in good standing when the prince left, and he had seen letters in Byleth’s room from the young man.

“Obviously something must have happened between them! Something must have broken their trust, or perhaps some miscommunication.” Manuela stood, pacing and biting at her thumb. “Though if memory serves the child would have been conceived when Dimitri was acting like such a brute…”

“Not everything is a romance novel, Maneula, and I am not about to just start making wild assumptions like the Professor and Dimitri would be doing something like that.” 

“Well now you’ve gone and told Gilbert, and even if they did not, you know he is going to inform Dimitri!”

“We were sworn to secrecy, of course he won’t just run off to tell the King that! Get your head on straight and think clearly instead of blaming me for things that haven’t even happened!”

“Maybe if you were not so obsessed with your crest research and poking your big nose into other people’s business, maybe I wouldn’t be worrying!”

“My research in Crestology has changed the world Maneula, and you should do best to understand the contributions I make--” 

“What is going on in here?” Seteth interrupted them, the door opening his loud voice and stern expression commanded silence, before Hanneman coughed.

“I… Apologize. Manuela and I just got into a heated debate over some of the details of my research.” Maneula nodded.

“Yes. You know we have… Always had our spats. Sorry if we were getting too loud.” Seteth sighed.

“You should do best to keep it down while we still have clergy and Rhea still recovering.” Seteth explained. “But I did not come here to scold you, I was wondering if you had seen Professor Byleth.”

“Uh, no, we haven’t seen him since this morning.” Manuela replied. “Is something the matter?”

“The King has decided to drop in for a visit unannounced, claiming he needed to see Byleth for urgent matters. However, when I went to retrieve him, his room was empty. Rhea hasn’t seen him either. He must have taken Lambert with him, and we are starting to worry.” 

Manuela’s face went pale. “It’s freezing outside, do you think he would be simply taking a stroll around the monastery with a newborn?”

Seteth’s expression grew more concerned, the lines on his face deepening. “... I will inform Lady Rhea something is amiss.” With that, he turned and left in a hurry.

Manuela turned to Hanneman, about to yell, before she gave an exasperated sigh. “Let’s split up and search for him.” Hanneman nodded, and the pair left the wine at the table, rushing out the door as well.

\--

“What is the meaning of this, Gilbert?” Rhea’s tone was level, but it was clear to tell from her expression she was unamused. Dimitri left the guards with the carriage and horses, only coming with Dedue at his side.

“We have business with Professor Byleth, Lady Rhea.” Gilbert gave a curt bow. “I mean no disrespect, but--”

“No disrespect?” Her mouth settled in a frown. “Explain what you have done, before I decide if it has been disrespectful or not.” 

“Lady Rhea, this isn’t simply a matter for the church. What we have here is something also important to the Royal Family. That child is an heir to the throne.” Rhea’s eyes narrowed. 

“I cannot believe you would not only break my orders, but go behind Byleth’s back. The church promised him safety and privacy, and you have broken not only his trust, but mine in you, Gilbert.” Gilbert looked mildly upset, but held his ground.

“I am sworn to help and protect the royal family. Making sure his Majesty knows about his son--”

“Gilbert,” Dimitri warned, his eyes narrowing, “I also do not appreciate the fact you went behind his back, as much as I wanted to know. While I agree this information was important, you owe the Professor and Lady Rhea an apology.” 

“Your Majesty,” Gilbert turned to him. “If the Professor had simply told you as was his duty as a Crown Prince’s consort, I would not have had to--” He was cut off suddenly, falling backwards. Dimitri turned sharply as Gilbert fell, his senses heightened from the years of war and being on the run, and prepared for a potential blow to himself. What he saw was the Archbishop, a deep set scowl on her face, now nursing the hand that had punched his cheek. She panted, still clearly unwell, and trying to compose herself.

“The Church of Seiros’ duty is to protect and nurture those within her walls.” She took a deep breath of air, steadying herself, and her headdress looked as though it may topple off her head. “By doing this you have not only disrespected Byleth and myself, you have disrespected the church, and broken the trust between us and Byleth. Between us and whomever comes for our assistance.” 

“Your Grace,” Gilbert stood carefully, a bruise setting in on his cheek, Dimitri put his arm out in front of Gilbert. 

“Perhaps it would be best if you were not present for our conversation with Byleth, while you think over your apology.”

“Your Majes--”

“ _ That _ ,” Dimitri’s voice dropped down an octave, “Was an order.” Gilbert’s eyebrows furrowed, before he sighed.

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” He turned to leave, but not before the doors quickly burst open, Seteth on the other side.

“Lady Rhea,” He began, rushing to her side to steady her. “I cannot find Byleth, nor Lambert. No one has seen them for more than a few moments, but a horse is not accounted for and supplies were taken by him.”

“He’s left the monastery? In this weather?!” Dimitri ran a hand through his hair, tugging slightly at the locks in distress.

“Send out search teams.” Rhea ordered, her voice panicked. “I do not want to lose him again.” Seteth nodded, rushing out the door once more.

“Please allow me to help search for him.” Dimitri pleaded. Rhea eyed him with suspicion. “Please, Lady Rhea. This is partially my responsibility as well. Had I not come Byleth may not have left, and…” Dimitri sighed. “It is due to my own irresponsibility Byleth is in this position in the first place.” 

“Why did you arrive at the monastery?” Rhea questioned him, steadying herself but still straining to stand with authority despite it.

“I came because…” Dimitri struggled with words, as Gilbert also left the room to assist with orders for the search. “Lady Rhea, with all my heart, I love Byleth.” It was true, despite the distance between them, his heart ached for Byleth. “Even if he did not have my child I would want to be with him. But to hear our union produced a child, I simply… Could not keep myself away.” His hands balled into fists, and he glared down at the ground. “The things I said… Led him to believe I would never want a child with him, when that is far from the truth.”

She seemed to be studying him carefully, her eyes boring into him and picking him apart, judging his words with scrutiny. It felt as though his very soul was put on divine trial, and he swallowed nervously.

“... Very well.” She looked away now, her shoulders falling. “I fear with this situation, your words might be the only thing to get through to him. Go help the search effort.”

“Of course, Lady Rhea.” With that, Dimitri and Dedue rushed away as well.

\--

Byleth had Lambert swaddled carefully as he fled on horseback. So far, no one was following him, but he couldn’t guarantee how much time he had until others gave chase. If not Dimitri, then the church officials would be sent by Rhea when she learned he was no longer there.

Lambert seemed to be fast asleep, at least. Byleth had on several layers for warmth, and Lambert was kept bundled up as well. He also brought several blankets for a makeshift crib for him. Supplies were low, only what he could carry, but would last them for a week, maybe closer to two. Enough to get to a village for some safety and food. The people distributing rations there likely wouldn’t think twice about someone his age with a child looking for assistance after the war.

The only matter at hand to deal with currently was the fact that a storm was coming. Byleth could see it in the clouds, which took on a heavy, dusty color, in the distance. Probably half or a quarter of a day away. While that was good as it would cover the tracks from his horse in the snow, it would be dangerous--no, deadly to travel in a snowstorm like that. He would quickly lose track of where he was going and in those kinds of conditions  _ he _ might be able to pull through, but little Lambert certainly would not. Lambert’s safety was the top priority.

He found some remains of a village, mostly cleared out. Several houses were burnt, and others were in a state of disrepair. Near the back however, he found something more suitable. 

A stone church, heavily reinforced. The heavy doors still opened and closed fairly well, the fireplace seemed to be in working order, and there were several stocks of firewood littered across the village. While most things save for a stray pot and some broken pews were gone, it would keep them safe and warm when the snow came down, if he prepared. 

He went in, resting his horse in a nearby stable, and got Lambert settled in some warm blankets. The chill wasn’t too bad, and he grabbed a few pieces of firewood to get a fire started. The supplies were loaded up inside, and he set to gather as much firewood that was usable before the snow started coming down. Given the town was abandoned and the church was secure, Lambert was fine on his own in the nest of blankets, sleeping soundly while Byleth loaded more and more firewood into the church. Finally, he felt he had enough to last for several long days, though he expected the storm wouldn’t last more than four at tops before he could move out again. By then, the church officials would likely have no idea where he was going and no idea where to search next, allowing him to slip away into Fodlan. 

He settled in, had a short meal, and warmed up inside. 

\--

Dimitri had been in the cold before, up in Faerghus. He had to train in the mountains of course, as was expected for most nobles in the frigid part of Fodlan, and when he was on the run. But this snowstorm would be deadly for a young child, or anyone underprepared. 

The snowstorm had approached faster than Dimitri was expecting, and he was on his own. Dedue, he insisted, leave his side to cover more ground. He knew it would be dangerous to stay out here in it, but turning back would also be dangerous as he could quickly lose his way on the backroad through trees he took without a carefully marked path. Instead, he would need to seek shelter and wait it out with what little supplies he had. 

The horse moved along carefully against the winds that were picking up. It was used to worse, but he still was carefully navigating and searching for some place for them to rest through the white haze of heavy snowfall. He pulled his cloak shut tighter and his scarf up over his mouth and nose.

Byleth was smart, Dimitri reminded himself. He would see the coming storm and prepare. And when it passed, Dimitri would pick up the task to locate him and the little one and escort them safely back to Garreg Mach. From there, Dimitri would assure him he will return to Fhirdiad if Byleth agreed to stay safe, and they will never have to speak again if that is what he wished. He’d agree to anything, so long as Byleth would never do something so reckless like this again. 

When he found the remains of a village, he was relieved. Surely there would be a place here he could warm up and wait out the storm at. Smoke came up from a chimney in the church near the back, still standing surprisingly well. Ah, if someone was staying here, Dimitri could ask to wait out the storm alongside them. 

A horse was in a stable, and looked in good health, but the reigns on it… As Dimitri looked closely, he could see some symbols on it like the horses at the monastery had. The saddle as well he recognized as similar to the horses there when he did riding training in the Officers Academy. His steed shook off the snow happily, and stood next to the other animal in the closed off area, sharing body heat and eating from the large supply of hay it had. 

Dimitri approached the church next. The windows were long since boarded up, so he could not simply take a peek inside. As he walked closer, his feet sinkinging into the snow, he heard a baby crying. Closer to the door still, the sound became more and more clear, as well as a somewhat familiar voice trying to soothe it. 

Goddess, if he was hallucinating this, he would never forgive himself. If he opened the church to find it empty and cold, he would damn himself to the eternal flames. His heart was pounding, pleading to the Goddess and every Saint he could remember that Byleth was in there and safe along with the little one. 

The door was hard to pry open, the snow blocking it, but he did not pause in the slightest as he pulled it open. A few flurries of snow fell onto the floor, and he stepped inside, bathed in warm light from the fireplace. 

The little one stopped crying, instead, looking over curiously to the gust of cold air and figure in the doorway. His father holding him, tensed as his hood and scarf came down, revealing his face. 

“Byleth…” Dimitri spoke, the heavy door shutting behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love dedue
> 
> lemme kno any ships u want included bc i might. i have intentions to continue this??? i guess??? bc i really like the concept and think it could be fun to be explored a bit more???? i am leaning on ashe/dedue bc i like it, but other characters i think would be fun to have paired up potentially. 
> 
> also i am still possessed. i can't stop writing.

There was nowhere to go, really. Nowhere safe anyways. All of Byleth’s supplies were here, and outside was a freezing storm that would make Lambert sick, and get himself lost and frozen to death. And despite all Dimitri said before, he knew the blond haired man wouldn’t want him dead. 

His father made it seem so damn easy. Maybe he should have started a fire like Jeralt did. 

The man was now seated near the fire, his cloak off and hanging to dry as the snow and ice melted off it, warming his hands near the fire while Byleth stared at him unamused. Lambert was now fast asleep, and the wind still howled outside. It was late, but Byleth wasn’t in any hurry to sleep with Dimitri there.

“Byleth please,” Dimitri began again. “We have to talk. Surely, you do not intend to ignore me for the entire storm.” Byleth looked away, and closed his eyes, pulling his own cloak over himself like a blanket. Dimitri sighed.

More silence between them followed. Dimitri then tended to the logs in the fireplace, and the soft crack and pop of the fire would be soothing, if not for Dimitri being there. 

He wished he hated Dimitri, somewhat. It would be easier if he did. If he could just tell Dimitri to never speak with him again. If he could just tell him Lambert was his and he had no right looking for Byleth. If he just didn’t fear rejection of any kind from the prince, and he could have told him right when the war ended that he was with child, a child Dimitri would never see. 

But he didn’t. He couldn’t hate Dimitri.

Part of him, he hated to admit, was excited seeing Dimitri walk in while Lambert cooed excitedly. He was so tired and weary from the journey, and the idea of Dimitri wrapping their cloaks around the two of them while Lambert slept nice and easy made his stomach feel fluttery. If he had a heartbeat, he had no doubt it would be racing. 

Another sigh followed, Dimitri leaning back.

“I suppose… I earned the silence Professor. What with how much I would refuse to speak to you, back then.” It hadn’t yet been a full year yet since Rodridge’s death after the battle at Gronder, and Dimitri began speaking properly again and atoning for all that he did. That time also marked when Dimitri stopped being intimate with him, no longer needing the physical outlet for his troubles. “I think I understand a bit how you felt at that time.”

Byleth sighed as well. Minutes went past in silence, and Byleth grew all the more annoyed with himself.

What was he doing? 

He was stubborn, yes, but perhaps this was getting out of hand. Unless he wanted to knock Dimitri out and force him to freeze to death outside, he was stuck with him for a few more days until it was safe to travel once more. He could resent Dimitri all he wanted, but at the very least, it was going to be a headache to ignore him for several days while they were snowed in here, and this might be his last chance to talk to him. Besides, Dimitri hadn’t started screaming or glaring at him at all in the past few hours. 

“... Fine.” He spoke softly, standing up and moving over in front of the fire. Sitting up against the wall, while providing distance between himself and Dimitri, was uncomfortable and frankly cold. 

He sat down beside the blond, cloak back on him like a blanket, staring at the fire. “All I ask is you avoid waking the little one up. He gets quite angry if he is woken up.” 

A pause, before Dimitri spoke. “Of course. I wouldn’t want him to lose sleep. Newborns need plenty of it.” 

Now, between them was an awkward silence. Perhaps he should have continued ignoring him.

“Professor…” Dimitri tried to find his words. “No, Byleth.” He corrected. “All I am asking is… When the storm passes, you return to Garreg Mach.” 

“And if I refuse?” Byleth asked. 

“I simply do not think it’s safe to be traveling in the dead of winter with a newborn, and I can assure you if you are worried of my interference with him, I can make sure that neither you nor Lambert ever see me again, to the best of my ability.” His eyes darkened as he said that, staring at the flooring and tracing the lines of the wood. Byleth recognized that look of pain and despair. “I just don’t want you on the run in such unsafe conditions because of me.” 

“Why did you come to the monastery in the first place then?” Byleth’s tone was not angry, at the very least. It was hushed, contemplative even. 

“I came as soon as I was told. I wanted, no, needed, to speak with you about it. About us.” 

“And who exactly told you?” Dimitri sighed. 

“Gilbert. And believe me, Lady Rhea has already expressed her anger over it when she found out.” Dimitri still couldn’t bring himself to look at Byleth. “I did not ask him to. I would have never dared to ask someone to intrude on your privacy, to tell me things you would want kept secret from me specifically.” 

Byleth took his time understanding the words, mulling over them, and listening to the crack of fire on wood and the wind in the trees. Lambert was always in the corner of his eye, sleeping soundly.

“What is it you want, Dimitri? And be honest with me.” 

“What do you… Mean by that?” 

“What do you want?” Byleth asked again, still staring into the fire. “Without involving the Kingdom, or what Gilbert or anyone else may advise, what do you want to do, knowing this?” 

“What I want…?” Dimitri asked, now turning to look at Byleth’s expression. “Byleth, I want you to be happy.”

“Alright then, what would you want if I were not an influencing factor?” His voice was monotone again, and Dimitri for the life of him could not read that stoic expression and voice. Byleth had gotten better at expressions and voicing his emotions, at least somewhat. But it was almost like it was back to square one. 

“I would…” Dimitri felt his heart skip a beat. “I would want you to come back with me to Fhirdiad, Byleth.” Byleth’s breathing stopped, frozen like a statue, for a brief moment. “I would want you to pack up your belongings, and ride up with me to my castle, and live there, so we may… Raise Lambert. Together.” Dimitri’s eye had drooped half closed, an expression Byleth could still barely make out from the corner of his eye. “I was not lying when I said I… Could not stop thinking about you, Byleth.” 

“You had best not be lying.” Byleth warned, an edge to his voice now that Dimitri recognized as a clear threat. Dimitri’s expression did not wane. 

“Never. Not with you…” Dimitri sighed, closing his eye briefly, as he struggled for words. Speaking from the heart was always so difficult for him with the professor around. Not because he wanted to lie, no. Lying with Byleth  _ was _ indeed hard. It was simply hard to open up, to take the chance to bare his heart in front of the man. He feared understandable rejection after all he put Byleth through, how rough he was with the older man, how downright cruel he was to ‘use’ him and then tell him his concerns did not matter. 

“I… Byleth,” He tried again. “Back then, what I said… I did not mean to imply I would not want a child from our union.” 

“Then what did you mean to imply?” Byleth’s eyes had hardened, somewhat, glancing at him now instead of the fire, but his head had not shifted in the slightest. 

“What I said… While I did not mean for it to hurt, it clearly did. I understand that now, truly.” Byleth’s eyes seemed to glow in the dim light, haunting and breathtaking all at once. “I was not thinking at all, if our… If we would actually have a child together. I thought I would be long dead before that, if not from Edelgard’s army but from my own hands.” Dimitri hated how he felt back then, desperately pushing everyone away. He felt as though he already died, so why did it matter if his body ceased to function a few months from then? He was already eternally damned, and once the dead had their tribute, it would be over for him. His life’s meaning will have been fulfilled, and all that was left would be to end his own suffering, remove one more murderer and monster from the world. 

“If not for you, surely I would have perished. If you hadn’t stopped me from going to Enbarr I would have…” His eye watered as he recalled how chilled to the bone he was in that heavy rain, soaking past his armor and cloak, down through every layer of clothing he had. It was numbing, matching the buzz of numbing pain in his own minds for heart, But Byleth’s hands had been so warm, his lips had been so warm, so gentle kissing each tear away, soothing him and stroking his hair. 

He had never felt more loved in years. 

“After that I… I struggled. I wanted to tell you, but all I could do was remember how much I did. How rough I was, how cruel I was. I could hardly believe you would let me live and take me into your arms after everything I had said and done. Knowing that and facing you… It was nearly impossible. The only thing pulling me back from kissing you was my own shame, yet foolishly I thought perhaps if I tried my hardest, I could be a better man, and then you would want to kiss me of your own volition once again. That you would… Love me, as I loved you.” 

Byleth could barely breathe again. He swore his pulse stopped for a moment, and his heart began beating anew. All of the words seemed to echo through his head, and everything else around him faded into nothingness. Nothing except Dimitri remained, that delicate, contemplative face with flushed cheeks and eyes full of warmth. 

Dimitri waited for a response, eagerly. Something to show Byleth wanted to answer, to reply in turn. Anything in that wide eyed expression besides shock. As the seconds wore on though, he feared the expression was one of rage or disbelief that he would dare to say that after everything he put Byleth through. “I understand though, that wishingful thinking and simple actions are not enough to heal--”

His words were cut off as Byleth grabbed him by the shoulder, closing the gap between them, and kissed him. He nearly fell back from the force of it, eye opened wide in shock, as Byleth’s other hand tangled in his hair. 

Quickly he kissed back equally as passionate, his eye closing briefly, before he pulled back. “Byleth--”

“Kiss me.” Byleth demanded. “Kiss me, Dimitri.” 

He wasn’t one to disobey Byleth’s requests, not when he promised he would do anything for the older man. One of his hands came to cradle the back of Byleth’s neck and his other arm wrapped around his waist tightly. 

Ah, how he missed Byleth’s kisses. His professor was so intoxicating, pressing kiss after kiss to his lips. Dimitri wished he could taste if just for a moment, just so he could know how his beloved’s lips tasted against his own. He felt warm once more, everywhere Byleth touching feeling like a ray of sun on a pleasant summer’s day, making him flush even darker. Byleth caressed his neck, then moved, lips still connected, to tuck a few locks behind his ear so he could angle his face more comfortably to deepen the kiss ever so slightly. 

They kissed for several long moments, before Byleth finally pulled away, stroking more hair from his face, and peppering kisses all over his cheeks. Dimitri gave a pleased sigh, holding Byleth the slightest bit tighter, careful of his strength. The professor made an equally content hum, and rested his cheek against Dimitri’s shoulder to catch his breath. 

“You…” Dimitri was still just as breathless. “Have not told me what… You want, Byleth.” Byleth simply nuzzled into Dimitri’s shoulder further. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Byleth replied. “I want to kiss you.” Dimitri immediately began chuckling, forcing most of it down to avoid making too much noise, lest Lambert awaken. Still, Byleth could hear and feel Dimitri’s laughter, and it made him smile.

“I gathered that much…” Dimitri brought a hand up to stroke Byleth’s hair. “I meant… After this.”

“I want to kiss you every day.” Byleth replied after a moment of contemplation. Dimitri hummed.

“Every day?” He asked. 

“Every day.” Byleth wrapped his arms around him in a warm embrace, and Dimitri dipped his head down to press a soft kiss to his lips. 

“I would also like that. Very much.” Byleth nuzzled against him further. “But to do that, then you will likely have to stay in the Kingdom with me.”

“Then I will do what must be done.” He pressed a kiss to the King’s neck, gentle and light. Dimitri chuckled very softly at the ticklish gesture. 

“Will you?” Dimitri asked, lifting Byleth’s head off his shoulders and cupping his cheek to look at him properly. Byleth’s stoic expression had melted somewhat, now with a ghost of a smile on his slightly parted lips, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes warm. 

“I want to, Dimitri.” Byleth’s hand came up to cup Dimitri’s. “I… I also want to be with you. I have always wanted to be with you.” 

“Oh, Byleth…” Dimitri kissed him once more. “You do not know how happy that makes me. Truly… Truly I was blessed to have you in my life.” Byleth smiled a tad bit wider, pressing his forehead to Dimitri’s. 

“I am the one who was blessed.” Byleth replied, and Dimitri moved down to kiss his cheek now. 

“After all the trouble I put you through?” Dimitri asked. “I made you suffer through so much, yet you still--” Byleth cut him off with another kiss, and Dimitri groaned softly. 

“Yes,” Byleth replied, pulling back briefly, before kissing him again, “I mean it, more than anything.” Another kiss. “I would suffer any fate just to be by your side, Dimitri.” 

Ah, such words Dimitri did not feel he deserved to hear. Their kissing continued, as Byleth explained between them, “I only neglected to inform you because I didn’t want you to hate me. I wanted to see you everyday and be selfish, even if it meant keeping something like this from you.” 

“Byleth,” He could barely get out between Byleth’s kisses. They never went much further than that though. Simple, passionate, affectionate kisses, over and over as though both were starved for one another.

“I wanted to be near you as long as possible.” 

“I should have kissed you sooner.” Dimitri mumbled against a clumsy kiss. “I should have…” 

“You should have,” Byleth replied. “I would have liked that much more.” 

“Mm, forgive me…” 

“Only if you allow me to kiss you like this a bit more.” 

\--

The two slept together soundly that night, though Dimitri awoke first to tend to the fire and prepare something to eat. After poor eating for months, it was hard for him to get into the habit of recognizing when he was properly hungry. 

Byleth laid on a sleeping roll, underneath Dimitri’s now dry and warm cloak. Dimitri smiled, brushing his hair with his fingertips. He was basking in how warm and loved he felt, when he heard some stirring off to the other side of him. 

In the nest of blankets, the newborn had slept most of the night. Now though, with the sun rising, he was tossing and turning, fussing. Dimitri moved over to him, offering a hand.

He was so small. Next to Dimitri’s large hands and frame, he seemed impossibly small and delicate. Such a precious little thing Byleth had made, a gift of life from their union. The most wonderful gift he could have given Dimitri. The little one grasped at his finger with ease, and Dimitri chuckled softly. 

“You have quite a grip, don’t you?” Certainly, their child had inherited his strength already. They would need to be careful as he grew up, Goddess knows how many things he broke when he was younger. “I wonder who you got that from?” The little one still squirmed, so Dimitri gingerly lifted him, making sure to support his head. Lambert seemed to prefer that to laying in the blankets, content now that he was nestled against someone. Soon after that, he fell asleep. Dimitri hummed softly, listening to the gentle fire crack. He hoped Byleth would awaken soon, as the fire needed another log added to it, but his hands were quite full with Lambert sleeping on him.

Sure enough, Byleth rose a little while later, tossing a log into the fire, before sitting beside Dimitri with a yawn. 

“Let me see him. He’s overdue to eat.” 

“Certainly.” Dimitri handed the little one over, who immediately began fussing. Byleth’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Seems he likes you too much.” Dimitri laughed. 

“Too much?” Byleth already shrugged out of his shirt enough for Lambert to latch onto him. 

“If he doesn’t want to eat, then it’s too much. Normally he never stops crying in the mornings until he eats.” Dimitri smiled.

“Well, I am glad he likes me at all, truthfully.” 

“Of course he would like you. He can tell I like you.” Byleth stated, matter of fact. 

“Can he now?” Dimitri raised an eyebrow playfully.

“Well,” Byleth continued, a sleepy look on his face. “I assume so, anyways.” Dimitri chuckled once more. 

“I hope so.” Dimitri pressed a soft kiss to Byleth’s lips. “Because I adore you.” Byleth hummed softly. 

When Lambert was finished, Byleth readjusted his shirt, before burping the young one, and cradled him once more. After a few moments, he began fussing again, staring up at Dimitri. 

“Alright, alright.” Byleth replied, before gently placing Lambert back in Dimitri’s arms. Just like that, he quieted down. 

“Is he usually like this?” Dimitri asked, rocking the newborn. 

“No. Normally he cries until I hold him and put him to sleep properly. First time he’s wanted someone else to.” Dimitri couldn’t help but feel honored. “Perhaps he has been waiting for you.” 

“Waiting for me…?” Dimitri asked. Byleth nodded.

“He kicked a lot when I was drinking Chamomile tea, or whenever I thought of you.” Dimitri’s expression was positively beaming at the news. He looked nearly on the verge of tears.

“Oh, little one…” Dimitri kissed his head tenderly. “I am so sorry I missed you coming into this world…” His voice was so soft, Byleth could barely hear it. “I will be certain to make up for it.” Lambert cooed gently from the affection, just as happy as Dimitri was. Byleth felt warmth bloom in his chest and stomach. 

Such a happy sight. A sight he had been wanting to see for so long. Dimitri hold Lambert happily, showing him as much love and affection as Byleth knew Dimitri was capable of giving. 

\--

Together, Dimitri and Byleth were able to care for the young one quite well, despite everything. While they were confined to the church, Byleth taught Dimitri how to care for the newborn fair enough. He wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t as though he wouldn’t have time to learn more.

After three days of being snowed in, the storm had stopped. Dimitri was the one to carefully push the door open after they gathered their supplies, enough to force his way out of the building, before he got to work digging away the snow near the door. Finally freed, Byleth put out the remainder of the fire and bundled up Lambert, and moved out to where the horses were kept. The pair loaded up the remainder of their supplies, and set about moving back to Garreg Mach.

It was a nice, quiet ride. The snow was rather beautiful, a handful of birds chirping, and a few trees still showing new buds. It would be the Pegasus moon shortly, after all. The pair stopped often to tend to Lambert, before finally Garreg Mach came into view up the hill. 

“We walked along this road back then, didn’t we?” Dimitri remarked. Byleth thought back hard. It was about seven years ago, when they first walked there. Before he knew anything about the Church of Seiros or Garreg Mach, despite being born there. 

“Hm.” Byleth hummed. “We did.” 

“You were quite the character back then.” Dimitri was smiling. “Claude wouldn’t stop talking your ear off. He told me when we arrived he thought you barely heard anything he said.” 

“I remember the full conversation.” Lambert nuzzled further into Byleth’s chest. “I could tell how suspicious he was of the church himself, and how unimpressed he was by the state of Fodlan.”

“Unimpressed?” Dimitri asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Well, a war started a year after that. I believe he could tell that tensions were rising.” Dimitri’s face contorted.

“I… Couldn’t believe anything of the sort would happen.” Dimitri looked away, watching a snow rabbit run away from the pair. “Perhaps… I am not the best leader, after all.” 

“Claude has always been the most observant.” Byleth replied, his face calm. “He sees things even I struggle with from time to time. There is no need to compare yourself to him.” He adjusted Lambert’s sling around him, keeping him warm. “Besides, there was much on your mind back then, and Claude still entrusted the Alliance in your care.” 

“I cannot say you are incorrect… But…” 

“You doubt me?” 

“Nothing of the sort. I simply wonder if I will be… As good of a leader and King as I can be. If someone else might be a better one.” 

“You are the leader we have. If I did not think you wouldn’t make a good king, I would have run off to join Claude’s side of the war.” He teased.

“Byleth, do not joke about that!” Dimitri complained, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. “You will lead me to an early death making me think of how everything would have turned out if you did.” 

“But I did not.” Byleth pushed his scarf up higher as a gust of wind brushed past them. “Do not question the loyalty of someone who gave birth to your child.” With that comment, Dimitri snorted, before laughter erupted. 

“You’re right, perhaps I… Shouldn’t dwell on it, give the circumstances.” His cheeks were pink, though Byleth couldn’t place if it was because of the chill in the air, or if it was because of his comment. 

The conversation nearly continued, before the sound of another set of hooves approached quickly around the bend,and there, riding up on horseback, was Alois. He was in his full armor, strapped tightly around quilted outerwear, and a scarf which did not conceal his nose red from the cold.

“Your Majesty, Professor!” He rode up quickly, and the pair forced their horses to stop. “We have been worried sick!” Alois’ expression, however, was pointed at Byleth. “My heart about stopped when Lady Rhea announced you had run off, especially when she refused to explain why! I thought I wouldn’t see you again until I was an old man!” 

Unfortunately, the man’s booming voice awoken the newborn bundled up near Byleth’s chest. Quickly, soft cries erupted from it, making Byleth’s eyebrows furrow, and confusion cross Alois’ face. 

“You woke him up.” Came quickly from Byleth.

“When did you find a baby?!” Alois questioned. 

“Alois,” Dimitri began. “Perhaps this would be a conversation best had when we are back at the monastery and out of the cold. 

“Of course!” He agreed, while Byleth got to work rocking Lambert. As soon as they got moving again and Alois’ talking grew quieter as he adjusted to a better speaking volume for a baby being present, he relaxed and fell back asleep. 

\--

Back at the monastery, Dedue returned shortly after them. He looked exhausted with worry, as did Seteth and Rhea. 

“Your Majesty.” Dedue greeted, though if Byleth could guess, Dimitri would get an earful from the man later, when less people are around. 

“Thank you for your assistance, locating the Professor.” Rhea replied. Her robes were on properly, along with her headdress, and a fur cloak on her shoulders for warmth. “Now, let us continue the conversation properly in my office. 

Dimitri nodded. While he had spoken with Byleth as intended, he did not want to seem suspicious to everyone else there as they entered. Besides, he had a feeling it would be best to converse with Rhea present so Byleth could explain the situation as well, and make a proper decision of where he wanted to go. 

Gilbert was not present for the conversation, though he did reveal he would be accompanying the King back to the capital when he departed. Dimitri and Byleth could speak with him later. 

Inside the office of the Archbishop was warm, fireplace lit, and a pot of tea quickly brewed. Finally unwrapped, Lambert seemed curious and happy, and Byleth played with him. 

“Thank you for bringing him back safely, Dimitri.” Here, she dropped his title, and it only seemed appropriate from the gentle expression she gave Byleth. 

“Of course, Lady Rhea. I could not sleep soundly unless I returned him and Lambert.” 

“Have the two of you spoken?” She questioned, and Dimitri nodded. 

“We spent the storm together in safety, and spoke then.” 

“I see…” She eyed Byleth. “Professor, did you tell him everything?”

Byleth eyed her all the same, a determined expression in his eyes, as though they were communicating something silently. “Everything about Lambert, yes.” She seemed content with that, giving a smile. 

“I am glad then that you two have worked it out.” She looked back to Dimitri again. “How long will you be staying with us, your Majesty?” 

“Ah, well…” Dimitri rubbed the back of his head. “I suppose that all depends on Byleth.” 

“Ah, of course.” Her eyes closed knowingly, as she took a sip from her tea. “Since you are here to see him, I suppose it is his choice.”

“I want to leave for Fhirdiad.” Byleth spoke suddenly. Dimitri winced as the Archbishop’s expression changed, teacup still pressed to her lips. Dimitri had expected him to lead into it a bit more delicately, as he could always tell Byleth was someone Rhea was biased towards. 

Silence followed for a bit, Byleth’s eyes unwavering, before Rhea’s expression grew a bit weary. 

“I cannot say I am… Unsurprised.” She put the cup on the saucer gently. “I had a feeling that eventually you would leave the monastery with the young one, wanting him to see the world, even raising him outside the walls.” She looked… Sad, in a way Dimitri couldn’t quite place. 

“I want him to be raised with Dimitri being there. It’s important to me.” Silence followed again, and Rhea still looked uneasy. Dimitri cleared his throat, putting his hand on top of Byleth’s.

“Lady Rhea,” He began. “I can promise you I will take good care of both of them.” His voice was confident, unwavering, and compassionate. “I love Byleth very dearly, and I feel the same toward Lambert. I did not have any intention when coming here to take him away, but I am more than happy that he wants to be with me.” 

Her expression still looked saddened, eyes fixated on her tea. 

“I will come visit.” Byleth added. “With Lambert. Perhaps when he gets older, I can come by and teach, or we can spend a season here.” That made her eyes close gently. 

“I understand.” She put on a soft, sad smile. “I was not going to force you to stay, Byleth. I just feel as though I have not had as much time to spend with you as I would have liked. But if you will return to visit, that will be more than enough for me.” 

\--

They stayed a few more days as Byleth packed up his belongings. They also explained the situation to Alois, Byleth being as blunt as possible. Alois was a flurry of emotions after that, confused, worried over him fighting in the war in that state, saddened he didn’t see the child being born, and then distraught as he realized he would not get a chance to help the young boy spar as he grew up. Byleth reassured him that they would be back to the monastery on visits, so there was no need to cry. It did little to stop his tears, however.

Another surprising turn of events was that Mercedes had elected to come with them back to Fhirdiad. She intended to see through the first few months of Lambert’s life and guiding Byleth, before she wanted to work with a local orphanage. Dimitri thought it was quite selfless of her to do so, but she was always a caring soul, and he welcomed her into the castle. 

Dedue gave Dimitri a bit of a lecture about running off alone, before pulling him into a tight hug in relief that he was alright. Dedue also gave Byleth his congratulations, and met Lambert. 

“Your Highness” was what he called him, at first. Byleth’s eyebrows furrowed. For him, Lambert was just Lambert. A small newborn who was born of Byleth and Dimitri, without too much thought. But Gilbert was right, the child was going to be the new crown prince of Faerghus. There was probably going to have to be announcements to the kingdom about it. 

Sothis, that meant talking about  _ him _ to the public. He would prefer not thinking about that when Dedue looked so happy around the baby.

“Dedue,” Dimitri began. “Just a you can address me by my name, you can call my son his.” That sent flutters through Byleth’s stomach. Dimitri proudly calling Lambert his son, he didn’t realize how long he had wanted to hear that. 

“Of course,” Dedue chuckled softly. “Lambert, then.” Lambert seemed quite content being held by Dedue, looking up at the larger man curiously. Dedue offered his hand, and Lambert took his finger.

“A-ah,” Dedue winced slightly. “Quite the strength.” Dimitri looked worried. 

“Are you injured?” Dedue shook his head. 

“No, just… Surprised.” Lambert seemed happy now, babbling as he kept his grip. Byleth smiled, loading up his belongings onto the carriage. “He will be quite strong as he gets older though.” 

“I am aware.” Dimitri put a hand on his chin. “I often broke swords, lances, even furniture growing up if I was not careful. We will have to watch over him carefully.” 

“I am willing to help as well,” Dedue was smiling happily back at the newborn. “He is important to you and the Professor, and thus, he is important to me.” 

“He is very lucky to have you then.” Byleth replied. “... Uncle Dedue.” Dedue’s cheeks were now colored with a soft flush and Dimitri laughed.

“Yes,” Dimitri began, between laughs, “Uncle Dedue has a nice ring to it.” 

“Then,” Dedue smiled proudly, a blush on his cheeks. “I will take good care of him then, as his uncle.” 


	10. Chapter 10

If he thought the area around the monastery was cold, Faerghus was colder. At the very least the roads of Fhirdiad were safe once the carriage arrived. 

The last time Byleth saw the city, it was in war. People were starving, buildings boarded up, and guards laying dead in the streets. It was a full on riot the moment they caught word that the prince had returned. From the sounds of it, people treated Dimitri as some sort of folk hero when they heard of him out in the Kingdom, killing Imperial soldiers. Tales of him fighting his way out of an execution for a murder he didn’t commit only added to his reputation as a hero on a vallant journey, escaping to gather an army to liberate them from their oppression, before marching to Enbarr to defeating Edelgard.

If only that were the complete story, wrapped up all nice and neat. A tale of a hero against the odds, thinking only of his people. 

Byleth knew it was not. Dimitri was a troubled soul, and always had been since the academy days. He was proud of Dimitri for moving past his pain, at least for the sake of everyone else around him. But Byleth knew the pain was still there. 

They arrived fairly late, around dusk. The sun glittered off all the snow, making it shimmer. Sothis would probably enjoy the sight, Byleth mused to himself. Finally stopped, Lambert was bundled up once more and tucked under Byleth’s heavy cloak, sleeping soundly. Byleth was also equally tired from the journey. All he wanted was a hot meal and to fall asleep.

The demeanor outside the carriage was almost instant. Dimitri’s shoulders were back, his spine straight, and everyone greeted him with a bow. Choruses of “your Majesty” rang out as they passed up to the castle, and once indoors and warm, advisors filed out to greet him.

“Your Majesty,” One bowed, an older man with a stern face, “You left quite suddenly.” 

“It was an emergency situation that required my immediate attention.” Someone came to take Dimitri’s cloak. Byleth declined when someone offered to take his. 

“What was the situation?” The advisor eyed Byleth. “And it is good to see a familiar face from the church. Welcome, you were the one acting in Archbishop Rhea’s place during the war, correct? It is a pleasure to have your company.” Byleth simply gave a nod of acknowledgement. 

“I will elaborate further, at a better time.” Dimitri replied, weary. The advisor nodded, and turned to bow before Gilbert who filed in behind them with Dedue. “What have I missed?” 

“The leaders of House Fraldaius and Gautier had urgent matters to discuss with you over reconstruction efforts. They have been staying, awaiting your return.” 

“I… See.” Dimitri did his best not to look exhausted. “Very well, allow me to discuss something with our guest and see to it he is settled in. Then we will entertain them for dinner and I will have a proper discussion after.” 

“Of course.” The advisor gave a short bow, and Dimiri’s arm pressed up against Byleth’s back.

“Come, let’s get you and Lambert settled in.” His voice was gentle and tender, compared to the contemplative and mildly authoritative tone he had before. 

Unfortunately, they only made it part way across the castle to where Lambert was going to be settled in a new nursery close by Dimitri’s room when they were interrupted.

“Boar, where the hell have you been!” Felix yelled after him, stomping down the hall. “I’ve been here for days to speak with you about the territory. We can’t move forward on some of these things without your approval, and they told me they didn’t even know why you left or when you’d be back--” Felix’s eyes settled on Byleth, wrapped up in a cloak still. Luckily, his voice was not loud enough it seemed to wake Lambert as he approached. 

“Professor, what are you doing here?” He questioned, eyeing the way Dimitri’s arm was on his back. Too familiar for his tastes, it seemed. “You had to drag the boar back to the capital, I take it?” Byleth shook his head. 

“No.” His voice was level. “If anything, it is my fault he left his station. Something… Came up.” 

“How long will you be staying then? Doesn’t the church need you or something?” Felix was not all that familiar with why Byleth stayed behind, wrapped up in all the duties of his father he inherited and swearing at the man for dying on him so quickly. “If you’ll be staying for the next few days, we might as well see how well you’ve been fairing in combat over the last year. I don’t want you getting soft on us.” Byleth knew that was his way of being affectionate. Felix took a lot of stock in physical prowess, and knew Byleth was always a skilled fighter. He admired that about the professor. 

“I don’t know how up to it the Professor will feel, Felix.” Felix’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I asked him, not you,  _ Boar _ .” He looked mainly annoyed. “Why is he here then if you’re fretting over him like this? Was he injured?” 

“No.” Byleth replied, carefully adjusting the sling. Lambert was starting to stir, and Byleth was hoping he wasn’t about to cry. “Can we discuss this at dinner? I have something to take care of quickly, and then I want to eat. We can discuss when we can spar then as well.” 

Felix seemed to buy that. With a huff, he turned. 

“I’ll tell Sylvain to get cleaned up for dinner then. Don’t keep us waiting.” He turned on his heel and left. Byleth sighed, for as soon as Felix turned around the corner, Lambert began to make noise, displeased at the loud conversation. Byleth hushed him gently, rocking him under the cloak.

“Let’s get him fed and in bed. Gilbert agreed to brief a few older maids to care for him while we are at dinner.” Byleth followed beside him, frowning.

“I don’t like entrusting him to strangers.” 

“I understand, but the staff at my castle are trustworthy.” Dimitri explained. “I don’t think anyone would dream of doing anything to him.”

“It’s not that…” Byleth sighed. “I just dislike it. Strangers, especially when I’m not watching…” Byleth pursed his lips. “... You know I am not one to easily trust.” Dimitri’s arm dropped down to Byleth’s waist. 

“I understand.” His voice was low. “Would you prefer Dedue or Gilbert then oversea it?” Byleth contemplated the options. He would prefer not taking Lambert to the table. The loud questioning would only upset Lambert, and the sling around his shoulders was growing uncomfortable. 

“Gilbert can oversee him for a bit.” Byleth knew he had only the best intentions with Lambert and would ensure he got the best care possible. “He still owes me for going behind my back. I think he has earned himself babysitting duty for a few days. Dedue can come eat with us.” Dimitri chuckled softly.

“I’m certain he’ll be content with that to make it up to you.” Byleth didn’t hold it against him that much. He made the decision he felt he should. While he did not know what it was that he said that made Rhea punch him--a fact he only discovered when questioning the bruise on his cheek when they returned--he knew Gilbert only wanted to ensure the royal family’s safety. He was sworn by duty, and if Byleth was in his place, he couldn’t say he wouldn’t have made a similar decision. He would have wanted Dimitri to know, if it were anyone but himself. And if he had just told Dimitri before hand, afterall, they wouldn’t have been in the situation to begin with. 

A crib was moved in quickly, though the staff seemed confused. Then, once the room was cleared, Dimitri took the cloak off Byleth carefully, fingers brushing against his shoulders. Dimitri removed his own gloves and caressed his neck gently, before dipping down to trace a line down his back as Byleth tended to Lambert, a smile on his face. 

Lambert was fed, before promptly going to sleep. Gilbert agreed to oversee the child as the pair went to dinner with Mercedes, Dedue, Felix, and Sylvain. They had much to explain, afterall, though Byleth wanted nothing more than to eat and crawl his way into bed with Dimitri pressed up against him. 

In time. He did take Dimitri away from his work, and at the very least he could rest on his own if needed.

\--

“Professor, how nice of you to join us.” Sylvain smiled. “If I knew you were coming by for a visit, I would have invited the whole class.” 

“Now you see why I didn’t tell you.” Byleth replied, taking his seat. Dimitri was seated right beside him. The staff made a note of it, before they filed out. It was an honor to be seated beside the King, afterall.

“Ouch, not in the mood for another reunion?” Sylvain chuckled. “Not like I can blame you. Ours have been quite the ‘experience’, huh?” 

“Enough banter.” Felix interrupted. “Why are you here Professor?” 

“Right to the point, huh?” Sylvain chuckled. “Dinner hasn’t even been served yet and you’re shaking him down for answers. Give the Professor room to breathe!” 

“He doesn’t even want to spar, so something is clearly wrong.” Felix crossed his arms, glancing at Byleth up and down, evaluating him now that his cloak was off. 

“There is nothing wrong.” Byleth replied. His stomach growled slightly, and Mercedes just kept a soft, polite smile on her face while Dedue starred at the charger before him. Neither wanted to be the ones to break the news. Dimitri as well looked a bit uncomfortable, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Then what’s with the sudden visit?” Sylvain smiled, though it seemed more teasing. “Or have you finally decided to come romance his Majesty?” There was the kind of line Byleth was expecting. Instantly, Dimitri’s face flushed red.

“S-Sylvain!” Dimitri’s hands balled into fists. 

“Technically correct.” Byleth countered. Sylvain’s face instantly fell, replaced with shock. 

“H-huh?” Sylvain questioned. Felix’s face curled with disgust. 

“Too much information.” He looked near ready to gag.

“Then you won’t enjoy the rest of the conversation.” Byleth added, just as dinner was served. Felix eyed the food in front of him, mildly nauseous. 

“W-well,” Sylvain laughed, “I don’t know how much more you need to fill us in with your relationship…” Sylvain tried to come back from his previous stumble. “Though, nice work your Majesty.” He winked. Dimitri covered his eyes, shoving a mouthful of meat in his mouth to avoid responding, his face positively red. Byleth ate the food in front of him eagerly, stoic face uncracking. He was far, far too hungry. 

The rest of the dinner went by quitely. Felix barely picked at his food after the news, while Dimitri and Byleth ate quickly. Mercedes explained to Sylvain that she was there with Byleth for a while, before she had her own plans. Finally with one helping done, Byleth requested a second, wiping his mouth clean. 

“Alright,” Byleth began. He looked to Dimitri, who looked a bit nervous. Byleth gauged his reaction, though Byleth did not know how to approach a situation ‘delicately’ as others put it. Usually he was as blunt as possible to try and avoid misunderstandings, unless he found it difficult to say himself. Felix seemed annoyed and weary, while Sylvain seemed to be bracing himself. “I can tell you the full story.”

“Let me guess,” Sylvain, eager to try and limit the awkwardness of the conversation, went on the offensive. “You asked Dimitri to marry you.” 

“No.” Byleth shook his head. “Not yet, anyways.” At his side, Dimitri slammed his silverware on the table, bending his fork. His face was somehow even redder, nearly radiating heat. Sylvain gave a laugh.

“Actually, it’s something that goes back to during the war.” That caught their attention, it seemed. Dedue’s eyes closed, and Mercedes hummed. “I…” Byleth struggled for words, and couldn’t find them. There was no way to soften this blow. He sighed. 

“Dimitri and I have a son now.” 

Silence followed. Felix’s face was frozen in anger and confusion. Sylvain’s mouth gaped. The two seemed to be processing it, the implications of it, and counting back months. 

“The  _ hell _ , you Boar!” Felix’s teeth were grit, standing up from the table. “During the war? You couldn’t even wait until after?! What if something had happened to him?!” 

“Felix--” Dimitri began, trying to explain. 

“No,” Felix was not about to give him time. “You were reckless, and the Professor had to pay for it.”

“ _ Felix _ .” Byleth’s voice was loud and commanding once more, eyes narrowed. “That was a choice I made. If I did not want the child, I assure you I wouldn’t have had him.” 

He grit his teeth again, before stomping away from the table. “I’m going to cool off.” It was a reaction Byleth had anticipated, sighing. 

“... He has a bit of a point.” Sylvain’s face was serious now, as a hush fell over the table. “It’s not like they don’t make magic charms for that sort of thing, Dimitri. We were at war.”

“It…” Dimitri rubbed the back of his neck. “It slipped my mind, at the time.” 

“You could have at least pulled out.” Sylvain folded his hands in front of his face. Dimitri glanced away sheepishly. “And you Professor,” his eyes turned toward Byleth. “You could have gotten charms too, or reminded him to.” Byleth simply shrugged. 

“I forgot they existed honestly, and I wasn’t about to stop him in the middle of it when we were enjoying it.” It wasn’t as though Byleth thought about sex that often before this, and he had a limited education on sex. Someone like Sylvain probably took those precautions much more seriously. 

Dedue cleared his throat, face flushing. Mercedes covered her mouth to cover up a sound of surprise, cheeks also dusted pink. Sylvain’s eyes went wide as Byleth did not break his stare, Sylvain’s own neck and face slowly heating up. After a few long moments, Dimitri covering his face entirely, Sylvain cleared his throat.

“W-well,” He looked away, rubbing the back of his head. “No need to criticize when it's all said and done right?” He closed his eyes, standing. “I should go check on Felix. We can have a discussion about the territories in the morning.” He rushed out from dinner as well. 

Silence followed. Dedue and Mercedes excused themselves for the night, and Byleth finished his second helping, before standing up as well. Dimitri followed behind him. 

“P…” Dimitri’s voice was tense. “Perhaps a… Little too much information.” 

“He asked.” Byleth replied. 

“I-I should have been more careful.” Dimitri continued. “You did warn me, after all. You should have just tossed me off you when I was about to.” It wasn’t as though the professor did not have the strength or skill to, after all.

“You were enjoying it.” Byleth countered. Dimitri’s face turned yet another shade of red. “And I cannot say I didn’t like it myself.” 

“B-Byleth--!” Dimitri stopped Byleth, taking his hand. Byleth blinked up at him.

“Yes…?” Dimitri’s eye was shut tight. 

“You…” Dimitri’s teeth were grit. “Right now you have no… Idea of what you are doing to me when you say things like that so openly, especially when I’m not prepared…” Byleth blinked up at him. 

“Am I embarrassing you?” Byleth questioned. 

“No--Well, yes--but,” Dimitri’s eyebrows furrowed. “It’s not… Just that…” Byleth still had to think about it. It took him a few moments, before it dawned on him.

“Ah,” Byleth began. “You’re thinking about it in detail, aren’t you?” Dimitri’s grip tightened to the point it almost hurt, before it went lax. Dimitri nodded, eyes still shut tight.

“To hear you enjoyed it so much…” Dimitri’s eye opened slowly. “I… I have been… Longing for you underneath me, again.” He stepped closer, pressing up against Byleth. Now was Byleth’s turn to flush slightly.

He was silent, as Dimitri tilted his chin up to kiss him again, groaning softly against the other’s lips as the kiss grew deep very quickly. Dimitri pressed even closer, and to keep himself from falling, Byleth took a step back. Dimitri pushed even further, until Byleth’s back was pressed against a wall, and Dimitri brought the hand he was holding up to pin it to the wall, lacing his and Byleth’s hands together. 

Dimitri pulled away slowly, Byleth’s face now thoroughly flushed. “P-Perhaps,” Byleth finally replied, “We shouldn’t do this in the hall.” Dimitri pulled away quickly, brushing some of his own hair aside with a nervous laugh.

“R-right!” Byleth pushed himself off the wall, fixing his own robes. “Of course, Byleth!” Dimitri now glanced up and down the halls to be certain no one had spotted the pair doing something so indecent. “L-let’s go check up on Lambert and then,” Byleth could see the way he swallowed roughly, “Go to bed ourselves.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh byleth, 
> 
> anyways smut soon again..... the couple has been apart long enough....


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello. i do genuinely feel bad giving my readers a hard time picking up and dropping off again. life just gets in the way of writing esp w the world turning into a nightmare. 
> 
> but i have been planning a lot of stuff w the other blue lions in this one. i have rly been enjoying the post canon stuff with the politics and drama and general nonsense.
> 
> anyways here's the smut i promised

Lambert was tended to, and Gilbert agreed to oversee him as the couple rested. The pair had been, after all, watching him alone while they were snowed in and then in the carriage with him the whole trip back to Fhirdiad. 

Next up though was the manner of where exactly Byleth would sleep. 

“I also prepared a room for you, Professor.” Gilbert announced as the couple set their child in the crib. With that, Byleth raised an eyebrow. 

He knew, realistically, he should sleep in his own room. Even when Lambert was conceived they slept in different beds. Not to mention, the rest of the castle was not aware why he was here yet, and it might be a very interesting situation they would find themselves in if a maid were to find him in bed with the king. On the other hand though, he has been apart from Dimitri a terribly long time, and has often reached out to try and grasp at him when his bed was empty. Sleeping curled up next to and even on top of Dimitri in that old chapel was so comfortable, and he wasn’t sure if he was prepared to simply sleep alone, especially without Lambert in the room with him. 

“Ah,” Dimitri smiled. “Thank you, Gilbert.” He took Byleth’s cloak. “Let's put a few of your belongings away, shall we?” Byleth shrugged, a bit deflated, and followed him out. 

It was only after he felt Dimitri’s arm tighten around him after Gilbert showed him the room and he left down the hall, did he start to believe something might be amiss. 

“You…” Byleth began. “Do not want me to sleep in here, do you?” Dimitri coughed, looking away.

“Well,” Dimitri’s thumb stroked at Byleth’s back. “I have no intention of stopping you should you wish to, I just—” Dimitri’s cheeks flushed slightly.

“You didn’t want to tell Gilbert you were going to ask me to share your bed?” Dimitri coughed once more. 

“I did not wish to say it, no.” He removed his arm to hang up Byleth’s cloak. “At the very least you can have a room if you want time to yourself for any reason, and if you want to sleep here I will not stop you.” 

“I hope you could tell from the way I kissed you and talked at dinner,” Byleth crossed his arms, “I have no qualms with sharing a bed with you here.” With that, Dimitri laughed softly. 

“I… Was hoping you’d say that.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Byleth’s temple, before wrapping his arm around him once more. “Allow me show you there myself, then.” Byleth grabbed a change of clothes for tomorrow, and followed.

On the way back, Byleth easily memorized the path Dimitri took. It avoided most of the prying eyes of anyone who might be up and wandering the castle, and seemed very efficient. It would be useful if he had to run back there for whatever reason. 

Finally inside, Dimitri’s shoulders relaxed. The room was quite nice, cozy even. It was filled with dark wood, a large animal pelt rug on the floor, a small desk off to the side, and other furniture like wardrobes and dressers. Each piece was elegantly carved, though the true level of detail could only be observed if you got close to it. A fire was lit in his room, softly burning still and filling the room with warmth. He placed his clothes neatly on the dresser, undoing the clerical robes he still had on himself, revealing a simple shirt, warm tunic, and thick pants. His boots were unlaced as well, placed neatly where Dimitri left his.

Dimitri’s fingers traced a line up his shoulder and neck, until his hand laced through the hair that was growing rather long. Byleth hummed, content, as he reminded himself he’d need a trim soon.

“Would you like a bath?” 

“Yes,” Byleth replied, pulling away to better remove his tunic. “Do you intend to accompany me?” Dimitri’s face flushed slightly, eye half open and warm.

“I would like to, yes.” He was breathless in his reply, still in awe that Byleth was here, in his room. Casually undressing as though this weren’t his first night here. As though he’s been like this with Dimitri before. As though he’s lived here for months now, doing this in his room every night as Dimitri had fantasized about. 

Goddess, Byleth was going to be living here like this. He could hardly calm his heart as the realization crashed over him in waves. Waves of pure warmth. 

Byleth followed him to the bathroom. It was one of the newer additions to the castle, Byleth realized. The room had slightly different flooring and walls, still a nice deep wood with a slick finish to it. A large tub was there, fit for a king, and could comfortably seat the both of them. Dimitri turned the water on, face still flushed, before he began to strip as well. Byleth could feel his eyes roaming his body slightly, and Byleth closed his.

His body has changed, he knew that. Chest fuller, much to his dismay, and stretch marks joining the scars littering his body. Soon enough they probably wouldn’t even be noticed from all the nicks and close calls he’s had in the war and mercenary work. 

Dimitri was also scarred, he noted, as his eyes opened and followed his body as well when the king climbed into the tub, looking up at him expectantly. Before, he could not see the many scars littering him, save for a few showing up on his hands when he removed his gloves. Many were gnarled, large, and a bit painful looking. Not the least of which was the scar Byleth could see was the youngest on his shoulder, where a dagger had pierced him. 

Byleth followed him in, eyes still glued to the mark. A painful reminder of the fact he couldn't save Edelgard despite how hard he tried. Her last ‘gift’ to Dimitri.

He kissed it without thinking, humming softly. Dimitri hummed back contemplatively. 

“It doesn’t hurt that much, surprisingly.” 

“It doesn’t?” Byleth asked. He knew enough about the human body from studying faith and healing magic that it was a delicate area.

“I had a bit of numbness at first, but I can barely notice it anymore.” Dimitri explained. 

“Mm.” Byleth mumbled, now looking up at his face.

He’s only ever caught the briefest of glances of Dimitri without his eyepatch on. Typically it was when he was adjusting it, or the night after they returned from Gronder field when it kept sliding off his face while he clung to Byleth. Byleth, however, felt it was inappropriate to look too long. He hadn’t actually been trying to show Byleth afterall. 

Now though, with no eyepatch, he could see the scars covering his eyelid. Two cut through his eyebrow, and one down on his cheek so far Byleth was a bit surprised his eyepatch concealed it. His eye was open as Byleth looked, the light blue color now covered by a white haze. The eye itself seemed a bit misshapen, and was only able to open halfway.

He didn’t know what happened to the eye, if it was an enemy attack or not. He didn’t rule out the possibility the wound was self inflicted. But he had just gotten here to the castle and had been shook down for answers himself. He wasn’t in the mood to shake down Dimitri for any at the moment either.

They’d have time, after all. He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. At least, not until the damn dense snow melted. Snow was the most annoying thing to travel through, let alone with an infant. 

“I… Often thought about you being here.” Dimitri admitted in the silence, cleaning himself up. “I wanted your company a lot, Byleth. I missed your presence. It was… comforting, for lack of a better word.”

“My presence hm?” He knew what Dimitri meant. He must want any close comfort in an effort to chase away the figures he saw everywhere, reminding him of his pain and trauma. “A bit of a boring desire. I don’t make very fun company.” His voice had an edge that was hard to pick up, but Dimitri immediately started chuckling as he noticed the sarcasm. 

“You’re wonderful company.” He replied. “Or perhaps I should have invited Sylvain to come bathe with me?”

“He certainly is more talkative.” Byleth answered. “More often than not, not in a good way.” Byleth could already imagine the hypothetical awkwardness that would follow, in an environment like the sauna. How many questions he’d have disguised as half jokes about how the two even got into bed and how it was for the king to lose his virginity. Then again, it would be hard to after all the things Byleth said. “Though I probably scared him off any invasive questions for the time being.” Dimitri flushed, still chuckling.

“I’m… Certain you have.” Dimitri began to wet his hair. “I never thought you could beat Sylvain at his own game.”

“I come from a band of mercenaries.” Byleth also began to wet his own hair. It got far too heavy from the water for his liking—maybe Mercedes would help him trim it, or perhaps Dedue with his skilled hands. If he could cut hair at all like he very neatly cut flowers it would certainly come out well. “Even though my father tried to cover my ears in my youth, I still heard them talk about crude things enough to make even Sylvain tongue tied.”

“Ah yes, I suppose that’s an interesting way to grow up.” Dimitri mused. It was certainly different than his life as a prince with expectations and tragedy foisted upon his shoulders from a young age. He envied the professor sometimes, how he got a chance to grow up without that, just living his life from place to place across Fodlan. 

Then again, as soon as he came to the academy he had nothing but endless expectations and tragedy on his shoulders. The strange sword, Rhea, finding out his father was captain of the knights at one point, losing him in such strange circumstances…

He never forgot the first time he saw in his professor’s eyes the desire to kill. Before, he always had a calm, level expression, showing very little emotion. At times he would give the slightest wince if you knew what to look for, recoiling from the violence subconsciously. At that moment, he looked more emotive than Dimitri had ever seen up until that point, chasing through the woods like a mad man, nearly dying…

“I was an interesting child. Only fitting I suppose.” He continued to wash his hair, staring at the water. He was only thankful Lambert seemed to be a “normal” child, one that cried when he needed something and had a heart that beat properly. He’d have to one day share those worries he had with Dimitri, but now was not the time. “A lot of it was a blur, we went from place to place so often I barely remember large chunks of it.” 

“How unfortunate, I was hoping you’d share more of your childhood, Byleth.” It was mostly genuine, though in a slightly more lighthearted tone to match with Byleth’s nonchalant attitude. 

“I’d be happy to anytime, though there’s not much to share.”

“I’ll make sure to ask sometime then.” He was nearly finished washing, deep in his thoughts. Even he knew it wouldn’t be wise to stay up quizzing the professor on his childhood after a difficult trip and difficult supper. He was weary himself, and he hoped Byleth’s company would help give him a more restful sleep. 

As he stepped out once Byleth finished washing as well, his cheeks turned red, recalling the incident in the hall. He shook his head slightly, drying off, towel over his head to conceal the blush. He only wanted to do so if Byleth initiated. While Dimitri did long for him, the two were quite tired after all. And despite his claims that he “enjoyed” it, Dimitri still couldn’t shake the feeling the nights they shared together were far too rough and painful to be enjoyable by any sense of the word. The way he spoke and how rough and harsh he was with the other man was what got them into that heartbreak in the first place.

As the pair finished drying off, Byleth was the first to exit to the bedroom, still in a towel. He shivered at the temperature difference, quickly dragging his clothes to the foot of the bed so he could get dressed by the fireplace. The goosebumps on his skin made Dimitri chuckle a bit.

“There’s something on your mind.” Byleth broke the silence, as he tugged a shirt on for bed. 

“Ah,” Dimitri felt a bit flushed. “I suppose so…”

“If you wanted to know about my childhood that badly, I’d be happy to tell you tonight.” He responded, and Dimitri laughed nervously.

“N-no, that wasn’t exactly what was on my mind…” Byleth next pulled on some wool pants to keep him warm in the night, over his muscular legs. Dimitri swallowed roughly as the fuzzy memories of those same thighs littered with love bites came to the front of his mind. 

“Then…? It’s hard to sleep if you have racing thoughts.” It was true, and it had been a question keeping him up for many nights now. He also continued dressing himself, at a distance from Byleth.

“Did you… Mean it when you said you enjoyed those nights together?” Byleth hummed softly.

“Yes, physically at least.”

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, a bit nervously. His response didn’t fill him with much confidence.

“By that,” Byleth approached him, placing a hand on his still bare chest, “I mean it physically felt very nice, but emotionally… I wanted more than anything to feel as though you loved me back.” His eyes drooped shut slightly, giving him a forlorn look to his face. 

“But I do—I always have.” Dimitri grasped both of Byleth’s arms. 

“I understand that now, but at the time I thought it was… More of a give and take. But if it’s you I was content with that.”

“Byleth…” Dimitri genuinely felt hurt, frowning at the explanation. Byleth wasn’t trying to make him upset, and cursed is inability to explain things gently. 

“If I could do anything for you, I was happy with it.” Dimitri still didn’t look any happier. 

“Then… If it is as my lover, and not… Like that,” Dimitri took Byleth’s hand off his chest, kissing it gently. Byleth felt if he had a heart rate it might be going wild. “Would you still wish to share my bed?” 

“... Of course,” Byleth replied, moving his hand up to cup Dimitri’s cheek. “In fact I believe I would like that arrangement a lot more.”

Dimitri moved in slowly, almost cautiously to kiss him now, as though he was giving Byleth sample time to move away. Still, all Byleth did was move his hand off Dimitri’s cheek, moving up to kiss him instead. Dimitri hummed happily at that, an arm coming to wrap around his waist. Byleth pulled himself closer at the hesitancy of Dimitri’s actions in contrast with the passion in the hall, and Dimitri made yet another sound of delight. 

“Byleth,” He whispered out as he pulled away, before Byleth connected their lips again. His hand began to slide up the shirt Byleth was wearing, roaming the now bare expanse of his back, feeling at all of the scars and muscles on the former mercenary.

“You’re still hesitating.” Byleth commented, pulling away as the king pulled his shirt up over his head. Dimitri’s face was flushed, before he instead moved down to his neck to kiss at it feverishly. 

“Forgive me,” Dimitri mumbled against his skin. “I’m still… Getting used to this again.” Byleth could forgive that at least, Dimitri was not quite in the right state of mind when they had sex before, running mostly on instinct. Now the king seemed to be focused on ensuring Byleth was enjoying himself entirely as well.

As he moved up to Byleth’s ear, he cautiously began using his teeth, earning a moan from Byleth. At the sound, he sucked in a breath, and began moving faster, sliding his tongue down Byleth’s neck, leaving a cool trail in its wake. Byleth shivered, and Dimitri began to suck near where his neck and shoulder met with a groan, and Byleth arched up against him.

“Dimitri~” The room still had a slight chill despite the fire since his hair was damp, but Dimitri felt so  _ warm _ , and the way the king was touching him was starting to make Byleth feel warm as well.

“Oh, I’ve longed to hear you moan my name like that again…” Dimitri mumbled against his skin. His hands were still roaming across his back. “Goddess…” He nipped another spot, lifting one of Byleth’s legs with ease, pressing them even further together. 

His own hands were gripping his shoulder and head as though for dear life, especially as he felt Dimitri’s arousal pressed against him. He honestly never thought he would be quite here again, with Dimitri like this. But he also was not going to complain about something so wonderful.

“I’ll moan it plenty then.” Byleth whispered out near Dimitri’s ear, making him shudder. He moved Dimitri’s hair to get closer, kissing at it, returning the favor now that he finally got a chance to touch Dimitri as much as he wished. 

“Oh~” He gasped, holding him even tighter as Byleth kissed and nibbled, moving down to his neck. “Oh Byleth…” Before, he rarely ever called Byleth’s name. Sometimes it would come out while his face was buried in his neck when he was cumming, or just before he pulled himself off a Byleth to redress. In desperation to hear it once more, he bit down a bit rough on his shoulder, earning him a long, loud groan.

“Byleth~” He dragged the sound out like a hiss, before his hips bucked against Byleth’s on instinct. It was quite a powerful one too, clearly without control of his strength, and would have sent him backwards if not for Dimitri’s arms around him. Quickly, he grasped Byleth’s other leg, and with one motion lifted him quickly, Byleth’s legs wrapped around his waist, moving them to the bed with ease. 

Finally seated on the bed, he kept his arms around Dimitri tightly. 

“Before you’d barely let me touch you,” He remarked, running his hand up Dimitri’s body. “I hope you’ll let me now.” Dimitri quickly pressed a kiss to his lips, much more messy and less cautious than the earlier one.

“Touch me as much as you wish,” he mumbled against him. “However you want to.” Before Byleth could respond, Dimitri’s tongue slid into his mouth, and his eyes fluttered shut with a loud groan.

His pants were coming off next, Dimitri tugging them off him, before he removed his own, and quickly brought the two of them under the warm, heavy blankets. The king’s body was more than enough to smother out the cold for him right now.

Ah, he remembered that fantasy of being on Dimitri’s bed instead of on his cloak. He got what he wanted, he supposed, though in the wrong order. 

Dimitri pulled away, as his hand cautiously slid up Byleth’s stomach towards his chest. There, Byleth caught his hand and shook his head.

“A-Ah, my apologies.” Dimitri looked embarrassed, and Byleth gave him a lazy smile.

“Still sore since Lambert is eating.” Byleth moved up to kiss his cheek. “Once he’s gotten older, I won’t mind if you touch there again.” Dimitri seemed content with that, moving to kiss him once more.

“Then… why don’t you touch me a bit, Byleth?” Byleth instantly moved lower, licking a trail right down Dimitri’s throat, until he made it to his collarbone to leave a mark as well.

“Mm, Byleth…” Dimitri moaned out. “Ah, I would… Fantasize about you touching me…” he admitted, his cheeks still flushed red. Byleth simply hummed as he moved down, kissing at his chest.

“I would have been happy to.” He kissed the scars there gingerly, feeling Dimitri’s arousal still poking at his leg. As he moved it up to slide against it, Dimitri hissed from the pressure and ground down on it.

“I felt far too guilty to… Allow that.” It was the truth. His head spun every time Byleth came close to truly pleasuring him in a way that would leave Dimitri the vulnerable party, but still he pulled away. To bare his feelings and body like this finally… It was wonderful. 

Byleth pinched a nipple, earning a gasp, followed by a low moan. He moved now to tease it with his teeth, another hand sliding down and into Dimitri’s undergarments to teasingly stroke at him. He moaned even louder, his cock twitching slightly, before he moved his hips against his hand with a few more shaky gasps.

Seeing Dimitri like this was certainly working Byleth up as well. Before he had given up on ever seeing Dimitri like this, having not just but a few moments of pleasure from his body, but to freely pleasure him as a lover would. He quite enjoyed it, stroking a bit faster.

“Byleth~” Dimitri moaned once more, grabbing a fist full of the sheets.

“Can I pleasure you with my mouth?” Byleth offered, still pressing messy kisses to Dimitri’s torso. His cock twitched once at the suggestion, and his breath caught.

“Yes,” He moaned out breathlessly. “Goddess, Yes~” He then rolled off Byleth, and Byleth quickly followed, pressing a kiss to his lips as he laid on his back, before trailing it down his body once more. Dimitri panted and gasped from every reverent kiss, and as he moved lower he quickly stripped the king fully, tossing the last bit of clothing to the floor, before looking up at him bare once more.

Dimitri’s eyes were half open, warm light dancing in them from the fireplace. It was much different than the times he was nearly fully dressed, on top of Byleth. His hands slid down his sides, until they grasped his hips, and he slid nearly entirely under the blankets to press a kiss to his cock.

Dimitri’s hand quickly flew to Byleth’s hair, morning in delight. “Byleth~!” Byleth smirked slightly against it. He’d barely even started and he was so loud… Hopefully no one would hear and interrupt them, but this part of the castle seemed to be empty enough. 

Next he licked up it slowly, from base to tip, and Dimitri cried out, the hand in his hair now grabbing a fist full and tugging slightly, though not quite enough to hurt. He briefly thought about teasing the man further, sucking along the side as he had done before until he begged Byleth for more, but ultimately decided against it. He swirled his tongue around the head, before sliding his mouth down it.

“Byleth!!” Dimitri nearly forced his head down further than comfort when his other hand joined in his hair, but Byleth was able to keep himself steady. His grip on Dimitri’s hips was firm as he recounted the many dirty books littered about by both Sylvain and Manuela. He just hoped they had a grain of truth to them, but it seemed simple in theory. The main issue was Dimitri’s size—he severely doubted he would get anywhere near fitting it in his mouth, so instead he wrapped his hand near the base, pumping in time with every bob of his head.

“Oh, that’s—!” He hissed. “Byleth—Ah~!” He felt a twinge of pride as Dimitri was quickly being reduced to a moaning mess by Byleth, though it was a bit hard to keep his hips under control one handed. Instead, he simply pulled up after a few more moments, licking his lips briefly.

“If I go any further,” he gave a much slower stroke, “I worry I won’t have control of that strength of yours.” He teased, smiling softly. Dimitri looked a bit ashamed.

“M-my apologies.” He certainly didn’t want the other man gagging on his cock. That would be far from the enjoyable night he offered Byleth. “Perhaps I can… pleasure you next.” It would be helpful to work him up, and Byleth could climax more times than Dimitri could with them continuing.

“Certainly.” Byleth moved up, resting his head back on the pillow as Dimirti began to move down instead, kissing at his stomach.

He slid Byleth’s underwear off as well, before moving his hand up his thigh slowly. Two fingers slid up him as he parted his legs with a soft gasp, stroking along him. It was much different than the hurried, animalistic movements before.

“You’re wet,” He moaned out against Byleth’s stomach, “You’re so wet for me.” He moved lower, pressing kiss after kiss to his thighs, his eyes clouding over with lust as a finger slid inside him.

Byleth moaned, gripping the sheets tightly now “Dimitri~” 

“Just like that,” He nipped at his thigh next, his finger quickly moving in and out of him. “Just like that, Byleth~” Dimitri quickly slid in another, listening to Byleth cry out again, before he slid his tongue out to roll around his clit.

Byleth nearly screamed, one hand leaving the sheets to tug on the king’s hair. “More~!” He demanded, as Dimitri moved even faster, finger’s thrusting up into him. His other arm was wrapped tightly around Byleth’s thigh, holding himself there. “Oh Dimitri~”! He loved the way his tongue felt on him, and his fingers fucking him just like that was a wonderful addition. 

He pulled away briefly, looking up at Byleth with a lustful expression on his face, much like those nights during the war, but even warmer. “Cum for me Byleth.” His fingers worked even faster, and Byleth gasped out. “Please, let me see you cum for me again.” He sounded nearly desperate, before moving back down to his clit even more furiously, and Byleth’s head quickly tossed and turned on the pillow as his moaning reached louder volumes. 

“Dimitri~!” He cried out. He was close, very, very close. “Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri~!” He was now practically begging the name, before finally, with a shuddering moan, he came undone.

He panted on the bed for several long moments, as Dimitri moved up to stroke his hair. 

“You look…” Dimitri muttered out, “Breathtaking.” Byleth wanted to give a quip in response about how Dimitri was the one who made him gasp like this, but he couldn’t get enough air to do so, ironically. 

“Dimitri,” He finally panted out, opening his arms. Dimitri gladly climbed on top of him, holding Byleth as well. “Keep going.” Dimitri nodded.

“I’ll…” he swallowed roughly. “I’ll pull out this time.” He whispered out, sliding one of Byleth’s legs up as he positioned himself. Byleth wanted to tell him otherwise, before he remembered the earlier conversation and how the last thing he needed was risking another infant so close to the first one. Until they could get a proper charm, pulling out was safer.

He slid up against him, moaning once more. “Oh, Byleth…” He groaned, and Byleth hissed as well. It was teasing, honestly. After his fingers he wanted Dimitri to fuck him senseless once more. 

“Hm?” He questioned Byleth's slight scowl. Byleth opened one eye to look at him.

“You’re teasing.”

“No,” Dimitri took his chin, “I just want to savor this feeling, Byleth.” He finally began sliding into him though, still holding Byleth’s jaw. Byleth’s eyes rolled back slightly, as Dimitri began panting. “Just like that… I wanted to see you make an expression like that…” He gave a gentle thrust up, or well, what Byleth assumed was his attempt at being gentle. With his inhuman strength and excitement, it was quite powerful, making Byleth moan loudly in delight.

Dimitri quickly pressed messy kisses to his throat. “Oh Byleth,” He moaned sweetly, sliding out to give one more thrust. “I love you~”

At that Byleth tensed up, before quickly he began to cling to Dimitri, nearly clawing at his back to do so.

“Say it again!” He cried out into Dimitri’s shoulder, and the king rocked forward in another thrust.

“I love you~” He moaned again, this time moving an arm up to steady himself on the headboard.

“Again~! Again Dimitri~!” Byleth demanded, trying to force himself down on his cock at the same rhythm Dimitri was setting. 

“I love you Byleth~!” He moaned out louder, his thrusting quickly growing faster. Before he could make any more demands though, Dimitri quickly kissed him deeply, his free hand gripping the back of his head tightly. 

Once the kiss broke, Byleth took one arm off of Dimitri while panting, sliding it down to rub at his own clit. “Just like that! Fuck—“ he swore, as Dimitri thruster even deeper. Dimitri now moved down while panting to absolutely litter Byleth’s shoulder with marks, holding him tightly.

“You feel so good—!” Dimitri gasped out, “So good~” His hand clawed down Dimitri’s back as he felt himself getting closer and closer. He couldn’t give much warning as his hand sped up, before a particular thrust and grind up into him sent waves of pleasure down his spine and he came loudly, Dimitri still thrusting into him the whole while.

“Byleth!” Dimitri cried out, before suddenly, he slid out. Byleth whined in confusion, before he felt a hot spurt against his stomach as Dimitri shuddered and moaned. 

“Dimitri…” He was nearly too out of breath to talk, but he moved up to kiss Dimitri. The king returned it, panting as his tongue slid into Byleth’s mouth.

“Goddess…” Dimitri pressed their foreheads together now. “I nearly didn’t make it… Feeling you wrapped around me so tightly…” He kissed him much more lazily now as they both came down from their orgasm, wrapping the blanket around them slightly. 

“Mm, I should clean you up a bit…” Dimitri pulled away reluctantly after a few more moments, and Byleth whined as his body heat slipped away. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back my love.” The way it naturally fell from Dimitri’s lips made a warm feeling spread through his chest.

Quickly, as promised, he returned with a warm washcloth, sliding it across Byleth’s stomach. The wet areas it left made him shiver from the cool draft, but he knew he’d be thankful for it come morning. Dimitri left to toss it into the sink, before quickly returning to the warmth of the bed, wrapping his arms around Byleth tightly from behind.

“Oh, you were wonderful as always.” He mumbled into his shoulder, pulling the thick blankets around them. They  _ could  _ redress, but that would mean a lack of skin on skin contact they were both craving.

“You were just as good.” He still felt a bit guilty he didn’t get to pleasure Dimitri as much, but he was sure they would have other chances for it now.

“You were more vocal than before.” He kissed the back of his neck. “I love… Hearing your voice like that.” While moaning, his voice mostly lost the otherwise stoic overtone it had, much like when he was in pain. Byleth hummed in response, moving one of Dimitri’s hands up to kiss it. This sort of intimacy was something he had been wanting for months, before Lambert, every night Dimitri would bed him.

“I love being here like this with you.” Dimitri nuzzled into his hair.

“I am glad to hear it, Byleth…” He squeezed him gently just the slightest bit harder. “I genuinely hope I am… Your favorite partner you’ve ever laid with.”

“You’re the only one.” He replied without thinking, only to realize after a pause followed.

“... I was…” Dimitri began, “That time in the cathedral with me was your first?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes.” He had already spat it out, no use going back on it. “Who did you think I was bedding prior?”

“I-I has assumed, as a mercenary…” He seemed quickly flustered, “You just seemed to go along with it so readily, I had assumed I was far from… Your first.”

“And you?” Byleth asked, still keeping himself wrapped up in Dimitri’s arms. They were bound to have this question at some point.

“Y-you were… My first as well.” He held him a bit tighter as he admitted that. “I… I figured if I would lay with anyone before I potentially… met my end, that it should be with you.” 

That made him a bit happy, finally contenting that jealousy that lived deep in the pit of his stomach.

“Well I’ll bed you plenty of times before you die, as I intend for you to live a long life as Lambert’s father.” Byleth replied, and Dimitri quickly moved to nuzzle against his neck.

“Yes… I want to live a long, happy life with the both of you.” He mumbled against his skin, smiling softly, “With everyone.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i have no idea what i am doing with nobility. i have a basic understanding on positions but lets just say trans man mercenaries being in a relationship w a king is not smth very common in history i can research. i tried my Best.

It was in the early hours of the morning Dimitri awoke. 

He still had nightmares, of course. They were just inevitable now, though he had mostly gotten past the screaming awake variety and had moved to a general unpleasantness that stung and left him feeling less rested. 

The sun was not yet risen since it was winter, but he knew it was likely close to dawn, and close to the time he’d likely need to get started on his day. About this time he would be getting dressed and seeking out someone else so he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts all morning but beside him a tuft of light green hair was poking out of the heavy blankets, body heat warming him. Dimitri moved an arm up into the chilly air to stroke his head, and Byleth continued to sleep, content. 

A while longer past, of Dimitri knowing he should start getting ready any minute now, but reluctant to leave the warm of the bed and his lover, until there was a knock at his door. It cracked open slightly, until someone cleared their throat.

“Your majesty,” Dedue called, not entering the room quite yet as after dinner the previous evening he had no idea what state of undress the other man might be in. “Your advisors wanted a meeting with you shortly, before you spoke with Duke Fraldarius and Margrave Gautier.” 

“Thank you, Dedue. I’ll get ready and be there shortly.” Likely it was going to be about his sudden trip and why exactly he didn’t inform all of them of it. He sighed, and began to climb out of bed, before Byleth awoke and grumbled. 

“Good morning.” Dimitri said, walking over to a wardrobe to pick out his clothing for the day. Byleth groaned, before sitting up and shivered, a blanket still wrapped around him.

“It’s freezing…” Dimitri chuckled.

“I can light the fire if you would like.” Byleth closed his eyes contemplatively. 

“No. Get back in bed.” Dimitri snorted.

“I have work. My advisors need to speak with me, and then I have to meet with Sylvain and Felix, if either of them can manage to look me in the eye after last night.” Dimitri explained, pulling a shirt on now. “I’ll also need to inform the castle of Lambert. We can’t exactly keep him a secret forever. Already I imagine Gilbert is suffering trying to keep the maids assigned to take care of him hushed.” 

“Should I go?” Byleth asked, now finally pulling himself out of the warm bed and grabbing his change of clothes as fast as possible. Even while tugging the robes on, he felt chilled. Dimitri just finished putting on his cape for the day, when he noticed Byleth’s shiver, and took out another with a fur lining, putting it on Byleth’s shoulders. The other nuzzled into it quickly, thankful for the warmth.

“It’s not exactly necessary but…” He paused, thinking it over. “Well, it depends on if you want to tell them yourself why you are here.” 

“I am more than capable of speaking for myself.” Byleth stated, sliding his boots on as Dimitri did. “And I’m going to be living here, so they should get used to me talking when it concerns Lambert or myself.” Dimitri chuckled once more at the attitude and slight frown. He should have known better than assuming Byleth would want him to take care of it instead. 

“Then you can certainly accompany me. We can explain it together.” 

They went to get Lambert first, so he could be fed properly, and because having him would be best for the explanation. Then came the long walk across the large castle to the meeting room, all the while Lambert quickly fell back asleep. Finally there, Dedue greeted them, and Dimitri smiled.

“Good morning.” Dimitri greeted back. Lambert was still barely tucked under the fur lined cape Byleth wore. Dedue smiled at the little bundle peeking through slightly.

“They’re waiting, and you’re right on time.” With that, Dimitri opened the doors. 

The advisors all greeted Dimitri, but then looked puzzled at Byleth following in behind him, especially with Byleth wearing one of the king’s cloaks with the royal symbol embroidered on the back. Dedue entered to move a chair up to the table for Byleth, and Byleth took his seat right beside Dimitri. The advisors continued to look onward, puzzled, but no one said anything quite yet, unsure how to begin. 

“I suppose this will be about my recent unexpected trip, correct?” Dimitri’s back was straight, posure commanding authority. One man shuffled some papers, clearing his throat nervously. 

“Yes, your majesty, but it is not necessary for our guest from the church to sit through the meeting.” He smiled politely. 

“He is important to my explanation of where I was and why.” Dimitri explained, and Byleth’s expression hadn’t faltered in the slightest. The stoic look on his face and the unnerving green of his eyes seemed to make the committee a bit unsettled. 

“Then, well,” He sighed. “Why don’t you explain what happened and why you left? It was quite sudden, and given these circumstances it isn’t good for the kingdom. While it is winter, you had very few guards, and there are still political enemies from the former empire who would use that to their advantage.” 

“I understand, but it required me to be there in person and immediately. Hopefully nothing else as urgent will come up, but I will try to inform the castle and make better preparations if something does.” 

“What exactly required you to leave?” Another advisor asked, and Dimitri paused. He was doing his best to look in control, but Byleth could see from the corner of his eyes the subtle cues denoting his anxiety: his eyes shifting, the way he roughly swallowed, and the way one hand dug into his leg under the table.

“There is…” Dimitri began, before glancing away, “A new crown prince of Faerghus.” 

A heavy pause followed, several of the advisors’ eyebrows furrowed, as the news suddenly dawned on them. 

“Your Majesty—” A woman this time spoke up, “You mentioned nothing of the sort when we discussed potential marriage candidates in the future.” Dimitri coughed.

“I asked for that discussion to be tabled for a reason.” Byleth’s eyes narrowed slightly. He did not like even imagining Dimitri discussing a wife. “I did not know our union produced a child but upon hearing the news, I left suddenly to see him for myself.” Dimitri looked his way, and Byleth moved aside the cloak, revealing the sleeping infant, still wrapped up for warmth in the cold climate. Several of the advisors began to mutter amongst themselves in confusion, before yet another man spoke up. 

“Does he possess your crest?” He asked, and Dimitri nodded.

“Professor Hanneman confirmed as much, though if it is necessary, he can be tested again.” 

“And whom exactly is the woman who gave birth to him? A nun at the monastery?” They were aware that was the base of operations during the war, and several did believe if it was anyone there it would be someone working at the church. 

“I had him.” Byleth stated, annoyed. Another man scoffed, laughing. 

“I respect all you have done for our king, but please no jokes at this meeting.” He said, and Byleth simply stared him down. 

“I was not joking.” Several advisors glanced at the king, who sighed.

“No, he is not…” Dimitri was trying his best to not be embarrassed. “Byleth is the one who had Lambert, and he will be living here so Lambert can be raised as a prince with his family.

“Is there still a romantic relationship between you and him?” One asked Dimitri.

“Yes.” Byleth answered for him, very bluntly. Lambert shifted slightly, but after a bit of rocking quickly fell back asleep. A blush was beginning to creep up on Dimitri’s cheeks and ears. 

Another pause, before more mutterings, and that advisor looked a bit angered when his question was answered by Byleth and not the king, but he simply swallowed that rage. “I see.” His tone clearly betrayed his true emotions. “Then there is much to discuss about the announcement to the kingdom, and if you intend to really marry,” The advisor motioned to Byleth, “ _ Him _ .” 

Clearly Byleth had not earned this man’s favor, but then again he wasn’t going to apologize for what he said. 

Dimitri moved his hand off his own leg to rub at Byleth’s soothingly.

“We have yet to discuss marriage yet but,” Dimitri bit the inside of his cheek. “For now Byleth will be acting as my consort. The announcement of Lambert’s birth and title will be the priority.”

“Then he needs a proper education on being the king’s consort before he can even be an acting one. Otherwise...” A female advisor responded, trying to still look polite and friendly, but Byleth could tell she was also a bit disgruntled and nervous to continue. He didn’t even blame her, if anyone referred to himself as a ‘concubine’ he’d probably storm out of there. She cleared her throat noticing the look Byleth was giving her. “He will be expected to appear at all gatherings related to Lambert regardless of marriage status or not, so he will need an education on proper etiquette..” 

How dull. An ‘education’ on being Dimitri’s consort? He didn’t care much for social gatherings at all. He was raised as a mercenary and then ended up teaching. Things like what to say at parties was hardly anything he was interested in. 

But then again, if Dimitri asked that of him, he would. 

“I suppose that can be discussed at a later time…” Dimitri seemed overwhelmed at that idea as well, before the prince began to stir once more. 

“Perhaps we should call this meeting here then.” The first advisor replied. “We have much to do in informing the castle of the crown prince and acting consort, and the prince should be put to sleep once more. And you, your Majesty, should prepare for your meeting with the Margrave and Duke about the territories.” 

“Yes.” Dimitri was relieved by the meeting ending, and quickly the advisors filed out. Byleth rose with Lambert, intending on putting him to sleep. 

“Would you like to discuss all of that now or later?” Byleth asked him.

“Margrave Gautier is ready for you, your Majesty.” Dedue poked his head in, and Dimitri sighed heavily. 

“I should see Sylvain…” Dimitri likely had a lot of work to catch up on, so Byleth nodded. “Don’t worry, we can talk about it later.” 

“Absolutely.” Byleth was content to spend some time with Lambert, or explore the castle a bit. With that, the two parted ways, Dedue following behind Dimitri as Byleth took Lambert back to his room.

On his way there though, he quickly noticed an advisor walking up to him, the one Byleth had disgruntled earlier. Byleth stopped, waiting for him.

“Can I help you?” 

“What exactly are you planning?” Byleth blinked, confused. 

“... To put Lambert to sleep?” The advisor rolled his eyes.

“With the king.” He clarified. “You waltzed in here with the claim this is his son, and so soon after the war. What intentions did you have when you got the king into bed?” He was clearly very distrustful of Byleth, but all he could do in return was shrug.

“He wanted physical comfort during the war from me, and I cared about him and offered it.” He wasn’t sure how else to put it. 

“Were you manipulating him into this? Why exactly did you want to get in bed with the crown prince?” Byleth didn’t like the accusations flying his way. 

“I cared about him deeply before the war, and honestly, I had no intention of telling him Lambert was his son originally given Dimitri’s status. Gil--I mean, Gustave told him Lambert had his crest and believed we had a relationship.” He lied slightly. Mentioning their emotional ups and downs and miscommunications likely would make the situation only more confusing and damning.

“Intending to use him as a political pawn later then?” 

“I have no interest in the politics in the land now that the war is over.” Byleth scoffed. “So long as no one is killing each other I don’t care whatsoever.” It was the honest truth. He was a mercenary who cared little with what nobility was doing before he had to teach some of them, and he still didn’t care all that much about minor politics, let alone enough to use his own  _ child _ as leverage. Then again, from how Sylvain spoke at the academy, that sort of thing might very well be commonplace enough to warrant suspicion of Byleth. “If Dimitri had no noble title to speak of I would care about him all the same. I supported him in the war and aided in it because I believed in him entirely. I bedded him with no ulterior motives, and I am here in the castle at his request.” 

“... I will be keeping my eye on you.” The advisor then walked away, still clearly angered, and Byleth continued on his way to put Lambert to sleep. 

Byleth didn’t particularly care if people were suspicious of him for now. Seteth was suspicious of him as well, at first, and of course Byleth would try his best to refrain from starting fights. These people just didn’t know anything about him except that he had a position at the Church of Seiros, and their job was to assure the kingdom’s affairs were in order. Sure, their behavior didn’t make Byleth happy, but he could tell himself it was  _ mostly _ out of concern for the people of Fodlan and for Dimitri. 

Of course, after the unhappy conversation he still wanted to get out a bit of frustration. He put Lambert to sleep and spoke with Mercedes briefly, before he began walking about the castle. Mutterings followed him because of the cloak he had on, but honestly it was far too chilly to take it off. After some time, he found himself at the castle training grounds, even more cold, though luckily protected from the snow outside. 

And there, sword in hand, was Felix, practicing various techniques. Upon seeing Byleth, he groaned.

“Professor if you tell me anything more about your and the boar’s love life I will cut you in two myself.” He was clearly still not happy about the dinner. 

“My apologies, Felix.” Byleth understood he went a bit far. “I will spare you any details.” 

He still didn’t look any happier, giving a good stab into a training dummy. Something was clearly bothering him, and Byleth took up a sword as well. He wouldn’t be able to spar with Felix exactly in his condition, but it felt very nice to hold a sword, even a simple iron one, in his hands once more. He practiced a few motions, adjusting to the way his weight shifted. 

“I just--” Felix finally spoke, exasperated, after he finally pulled the sword out of the training dummy with great effort. “I really wish I didn’t have to learn that because you had the boar’s fucking kid.” 

“Well,” Byleth began. “I didn’t think you would want to hear about our relationship at all--”

“Not  _ that _ .” Felix hissed. “I don’t care if you want to subject yourself to that. What I care about is that I had to find out you’re like  _ me _ .” 

Byleth took a few moments to process that, before stopping his movement mid swing, turning to look at Felix sharply. 

“By like me, you mean…?” 

“Yes. With a different set of anatomy.” Felix looked even more unhappy, stabbing the dummy shallowly twice. “I grew up without anyone else like me, and…” He growled in frustration. “I worked twice as hard to prove myself as good of a man as anyone else, and then I had to work my ass off to prove I wasn’t just trying to be my brother. My whole life people acted like I was just trying to be like Glenn, and I was sick of it. Then you came along, and you could actually judge me unbiasedly.” He gave a slash, cutting into the wood, no doubt dulling the blade. “You were, all things considered, a good teacher and a good commander. If I had known you were someone like me…” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. 

“I… Had no idea either.” He wasn’t given the slightest hint of it before.

“Of course not. The church demands respect within its walls about that thing, and I’d been doing this long enough that people learned to shut up about it or I would  _ make _ them shut up.” He paused. “But also, you seriously could have been killed, Professor. We were at  _ war _ . What the hell were you thinking?” 

“I… Well.” Byleth didn’t have much in the way of explanation. “To be honest, I wasn’t thinking entirely properly. I just wanted to be there for Dimitri.” 

“He was an animal back then. He could have ripped your throat out if you so much as startled him the wrong time of day. And even if he left you in one piece, you were present on the battlefield the whole time, despite your--” He gave a frustrated cry. “Whatever. Even if I had known I doubt you would have listened to me to not put yourself in harm’s way. You’re a damned reckless fool, but at the least we could have tried to cover for you.” 

“I didn’t want everyone fretting over me like that.” Byleth frowned. “Or worse, Gilbert declaring since I was carrying Dimitri’s child I wasn’t allowed to even look at the battlefield whatsoever.” He snorted at that.

“Yeah, the bastard probably would have been protecting the boar’s offspring before he was even born, acting all insufferable, treating you like royalty.” He rolled his eyes. “All because it's the boar’s spawn too.” 

“I would prefer you not talk about  _ my _ son with such dehumanizing terms, Felix.” Byleth gave a whack at the dummy as well. These blades were definitely not that sharp. But then again, this was just for training mostly. “I don’t regret having him, all things considered. I understand you are hurt, but I wanted Lambert.” 

“Why?” Felix looked borderline offended. “Is it just because he’s fucking  _ Dimitri’s _ ?” 

“I lost my only remaining family when my father died.” Byleth explained. “And the war was going to end soon. I figured it was best to think about my future after it ended, and how I didn’t just want to be… Well, running around the monastery until students came back, or chasing all of you around meddling in with your affairs. Really, I wanted a family.” 

Felix didn’t look very content with that answer, before sighing. “You are too weird, Professor. At the very least I’m glad your answer wasn’t something nauseating and revolving only around the boar.” He turned away, making another practiced move. “You’re better than that. You should only make those kinds of choices for your own sake, and not someone else’s.” He at least understood that. No doubt, thinking on it, that Felix was asked to have children for the sake of his house or another noble, no care for his actual feelings and if he actually wanted to go through with that. And with experience now,  _ no one _ should have to go through all the things with pregnancy and birth and having a newborn baby unless they genuinely wanted to. It would be enough to drive someone mad. 

\--

Byleth didn’t see Dimitri again until dinner. By now the whole castle had heard that the reason that the king had left so suddenly in the dead of night was he got word he had a son, and had gone immediately to ‘escort’ Lambert and his lover home to live with him. And that the guest from the church, who several recognized from when they retook Fhirdiad, was in fact the prince’s lover, only punctuated by the fact he was walking around everyone and getting the layout of the castle while wearing one of Dimitri’s cloaks. 

Then there was the gossip, of if Byleth was secretly a woman, of several maids going hushed when he walked by, commenting on his hair color and how he was oddly good looking, and talk that the king must clearly be smitten given he didn’t just take Lambert and leave Byleth behind. Oh well, they’d get bored of that sooner or later. 

Dimitri seemed thoroughly exhausted when he sat down at the table, sighing. 

“How are things?” He asked. He knew Dimitri was quite busy with the restoration. Most of the nobles who sided with the Empire had been investigated and sentenced, and now with a lot of new leadership communication could be difficult. Dimitri mainly mentioned having a lot of paperwork and meetings in his letters, but in person communication allowed a lot more to be shared right away between them.

“Hectic, as always.” Dimitri replied. “Work piled up while I was away, but I think we have settled things for Sylvain. Felix met with me as well, but we will have to work on the supplies in detail over the next few days.” Dimitri explained. “The Fraldarius territory has a surplus of food, but we’re unsure if we should save it or help distribute it to others, particularly in the former empire.” Tough decisions. The winters were harsh here, and likely the kingdom wasn’t going to see spring any time soon; an excess of food was something to be thankful for, as quickly crops could potentially fail, or more people may come in. But also the former empire was struggling, given they didn’t have many trade partners during the war, and many had to go above and beyond with rationing so soldiers could be fed. 

“Sounds difficult.” More so than just the decision, the paperwork must be even more difficult. It’s not like you could just make the decision and that would be the end. How much food was going where, why, who would oversee distribution…

Byleth was thankful most of his paperwork in his life was just school work and battle plans. Gilbert oversaw most of the supplies, and Byleth did his best to supplement it with hunting, fishing, and overseeing the deliveries. 

“It is, it is.” Dimitri still offered a tired smile. “How was your first full day here?” 

“Hm.” Byleth hummed, as food was finally brought out. He took one large bite of meat and swallowed it, before continuing. “I tried to get a layout of the castle. Practicing swinging a sword for the first time in a few months.” He took another large bite, as Dimitri began to eat as well. “People around the castle certainly like to gossip as well.” 

“I hope no one is giving you a hard time.” Dimitri looked apologetic. 

“Not particularly.” People being suspicious of him made sense. “Though I think I upset one of your advisors. 

“Ah yes,” Dimitri snorted. “Alec came and chewed my ear off about that. He quizzed me after my meeting with Sylvain, about if I was  _ absolutely _ certain that you didn’t have any ulterior motives for being here.” So it seemed it wasn’t just Byleth who got an earful. “He also wanted your background, and he was quite shocked to learn you were a mercenary  _ and _ the son of the old captain of the Knights of Seiros.” 

Right. He nearly forgot his father had a bit of status. 

“Was he satisfied with that?” 

“Not particularly, but I think he’ll mainly keep to watching you. I think he’s expecting you to go rooting around in finances or be whispering in my ear about what choices to make or something. When he finds out you’re more comfortable on the battlefield or out fishing than in court, I think he’ll be content.” 

“I have no idea about how to run a country and do not make any claims to.” Byleth said bluntly. “I trust your judgement on those matters far more than my own.” Dimitri chuckled.

“I hope I can make the correct decisions as well then, Byleth.” Dimitri smiled warmly, and Byleth shoved another chunk of potatoes into his mouth. At least the castle had fairly nice food. It was simple but well prepared, and he could appreciate that. Especially after having eaten rations Flayn prepared in an effort to ‘prove’ she could cook properly. 

“I’m sure you will. And if you’re unsure, you always seek out guidance and other perspectives, and try to do the right thing. You’re a fine ruler like that.” Dimitri seemed all the more happy with the praise, blushing. 

“I’m glad you think so.” He was always a bit shy with praise like that.

After a few more moments talking, Dimitri asking about Lambert and talking about someone coming in to check his crest again, Byleth asked about something brought up at the meeting in the morning. 

“Do you…” Byleth began, “Want me to take lessons of some kind?” He honestly didn’t care for the idea, but he also cared about Dimitri’s reputation. “If it’s for your sake and the sake of everyone’s sanity, I don’t mind learning things about appearing at events or the like.” 

“I… Am honestly unsure still.” Dimitri hummed. Byleth got a second plate of food. “I love you as you are Byleth, and I don’t want you to feel like you should change for my sake. And I also don’t really know what duties are expected of you when you’re in the position of being… My partner.” His hand came to stroke Byleth’s leg again under the table. “My step-mother was mainly kept out of public events for the most part, and my father’s marriage to her wasn’t spoken of much. And even if she did appear, she had experience being in the empire.”

“I could still try.” Byleth offered. “Or, at worst, I can just say nothing at events.” Dimitri laughed softly. 

“If you’re there I want you to speak. Especially if you’re there for my sake.” Dimitri was still smiling warmly. “Though I suppose you wouldn’t be the first royal consort to avoid public events. So long as the public knows that my bloodline is living on, I don’t think they will care much, and if other nobles ask about you, I’m certain your former students will be happy enough to vouch for your honor.” That was also a possibility--he could just avoid them altogether. No need to learn all the social rules and everything if he never went to any of those events in the first place.

“There is one problem with that,” Byleth began, “And it’s that I have no intention letting Lambert around a bunch of people at an event unless I’m also there.” He was still protective, as Lambert was always going to be  _ his _ son before he was the crown prince of Faerghus. While he would let him live out that role with Dimitri, he wasn’t just going to hand over all of his parental duties to other people to save himself some grief. 

“Then we can talk about it. I’m certain a few simple lessons will be more than enough. You are already plenty accomplished on your own as well, so I don’t think you will be making many enemies over a few blunt words.” That was also true. Upon finding out he turned down a position as the archbishop to live here instead, they would probably all begrudgingly accept it. Besides, he didn’t think Felix would be much better than him either, and he already had a position as the duke. 

“I suppose.” He finished clearing his plate. Part of him did in fact want to bring up marriage, but… Well this was his first day at the castle. There would be time for talk of marriage, as much as he was already committed to Dimitri. 


End file.
